Tips to cope with leaving 19 month old for 4 days and 4 nights to attend a course

[ducksinthedustbin]

I'm a SAHM and I'm going on a course next week (baby and toddler related) and I'll be away from my 19 month old DD for 4 nights and 4 days .

This will be the first time that I'll be away from her for even one night and I'm having panic attacks at the thought that she might suffer severe separation anxiety even though she will be will my MIL who she is very happy to go with (she has looked after her for a few hours pretty much every week for the last year) and my DH (who is very hands on).

Please give me tips to make sure it goes well and tell me everything is going to be ok...

Does she wake at night? If so, is DH sorting her out now to get her used to you not being there? Can DH and mil have her for a few hours this weekend as a trial run?

When I was doing temp nannying it always seemed like a really critical factor was the parent's own attitude - if you show her your own anxiety she will definitely pick up on it, but if you turn it into an adventure she is much more likely to enjoy it, despite some inevitable wobbles over the four days.

Does she have some favourite toys that you could use to act out some 'mummy going away' plays? For example, mummy teddy bear goes into the kitchen and lucky little mouse in the bedroom has lots of adventures with daddy bear/ granny bear and writes letters to mummy bear whenever she gets sad, while mummy bear calls mouse every day and then comes home with presents

Jilted DH does sort her out at night - we take turns - so she should be fine, although sometimes there are the inevitable times when all she wants is mommy...

She is used to having days with just mil and/or DH. I guess she's just never woken up without me being there. I'm sure it's more my own anxiety than hers to be honest!

Sunny You're so right about my attitude. I'm going to calm down about it now, talk about it and let her see it as an adventure. Good idea to do the role play with the toys. Thanks

Do you have to be residential on the course? If your DH/MIL can stay at a nearby Premier Inn or Travelodge, what's to stop you staying with her there? Or maybe they could come up for one or two nights so it isn't 4 nights on the trot?

I left my DD to go to a festival (I was working) for the same amount of time when she was 16 months old. Left her with her dad.
The baggage didn't miss me for a moment, smiled when I came home and kept playing with her sorting cube. She had slept well, stuffed herself as usual, asked about me a few times without getting upset and was easily distracted into some other activity.
Then she wandered over about 20 minutes later with a banana for me to unzip for her.
You are leaving her with people she loves and who love her, you will have a phone on you all the time. She will pick up on the fear and worry if you allow it to take you over.

I had ds2 by ecs when ds1 was 16m old. Ds1 went to stay at my mums for the 3 nights I was in hospital and he was fine, he'd only ever been at hers for day times before.

As long as they are with people they are used to, and in familiar surroundings, she will be ok.

Can't think of anything worse for her than being stuck in a travel lodge for several days... And if you are on a course you'll need to get a full nights sleep in so you can concentrate all day.

In the evenings you can lie in the bath for ages, catch up on some reading.....

I think she will be fine and you will be too, so long as you don't think about her too much while you are away, and you don't phone home to talk to her.

That sounds glib, sorry. I did do this a long time ago with my DCs at this sort of age. Each time the whole experience was fine both for me and the DCs, though the anxiety about it in the run-up was as you describe.

She WILL be fine. You will feel terrible but will get on with it because you will be wearing your big girls pants.

I left DD3 at 13 months for a week when doing OU residential course, felt awful, DD was fine. I walked through the door and she stared at me for a few seconds and then grabbed me for a cuddle. She is a stroppy confident 4 year old now.