Struggling with very emotional 3 year old

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She cries at everything, literally over spilt milk. She gets so easily upset, especially when she doesn't get her own way and whines. A lot. But also everything is such a drama. She cries when I drop her off at nursery - and when I pick her up. When dinner doesn't meet with her approval. When the baby plays with her toys. It just goes on and on all day and is so draining.

I don't know how best to handle it - I've tried putting her in her room to calm down, reasoning with her, consequences, more one on one time, ensuring she doesn't get overtired. It doesn't seem to make a difference. Help!

I am no expert but I have deliberately had a policy of ignoring the crying for minor bumps and trips or not getting own way and the other things you mention. My dd seems to have developed resilience to get over these minor issues and mostly just gets on with it. I would try ignoring (or at least giving her a moments acknowledgement) and walk away and get on with a chore. Perhaps the attention she gets from you is re-enforcing the crying as she is getting your full attention.

How old is your baby? DD is competing.

Have you asked the nursery staff if she's as tearful at nursery?

Lots of reassurance at bedtime, cuddles on demand, one on one time whenever baby naps - it needn't be for more than 20 minutes' dedicated time, but make it just for her.

When she cries over something trivial, be brisk, "Never mind!"

Oh and having a younger DSis, I know how pesky she could be with toys, it is tough sharing - maybe keep out of baby's reach any particular favourites? It's good to learn to share stuff but DD's already had to share you.

Watching with interest as my DD is also a whiner and cries at every opportunity - a tiny scratch, someone bumping into her, not being able to do something herself but refusing help... it drives me mad!

Thanks, yes she probably is finding it hard now the baby is mobile and he has been getting a lot of attention recently for various reasons. We are in Scotland, so into week 3 of the holidays so she's not had nursery to escape to.

Will definitely dedicate more time to her when baby naps and absolutely ignore the dramatics. I have been reading 123 Magic and need to implement the less talking, less emotion advice.

We had some time together this afternoon at nap time and it was really lovely.