When did you start bedtime routines?

[Funghoul]

My dd is 8 weeks, is this too young or about right?
We sometimes struggle to get her to sleep, sometimes she wants holding but sometimes I can put her in her crib when she's sleepy. She only seems to do this when we use a sleeping bag, and never without, even if we've warmed the sheets with a hot water bottle.
She's more than happy to sleep on me or dp, but I really don't want to co sleep as I'm scared of squashing her in our bed, we really don't have the space to co sleep comfortably.
We've finally cracked bath time and it's now something she enjoys, so is it too early for is to start the bath bottle bed routine?
My dp is a shift worker so to be able to put her down at a more or less consistent time would be of huge benefit to him.

I'm sure we worked on a bedtime routine around that age with DD, but that didn't always mean it worked. They are growing and changing so fast at that stage. It seems to have paid off though as DD slept through reasonably reliably by 6 months.

Had a routine pretty much as soon as ds came out of hospital at 3 weeks. Bath, bottle bed etc.

Had a routine pretty early but can't remember when. By 6 weeks I'm sure. Bath, bottle, bed. Dark room, classical music CD

DS is now 13m and if you're running late and try to skip the bath its like he doesn't "know" its bedtime!! But with the routine he's out like a light its been great for us

Thanks, I do the dark room for late/night feeds. She feeds around 10 then goes till 4 in morning, on the odd occasion she sleeps through so I think we're getting there. This is our first so sometimes it feels as if we're just muddling along and making things up as we go along.

My DD is 14 weeks and we have had a big feed, bath, another big feed, sleep routine for about six weeks now. It normally takes a few hours with all the feeding but she tends to go down about 11pm and sleeps for 4-5 hours and then have another small feed and then another few hours. Yesterday as DH was home very early I did the routine earlier than usual just thinking that the feeding time would be longer but she went to sleep at 9pm! I'm assuming that she just recognized the cues?! Was very surprised she went to sleep. Downside was that it did mean that she woke more in the night to feed as I don't think she was as full as she usually is. We'll see if it works again tonight I guess. We have no routine in the day, just the bedtime one for now

At 8 weeks mine was still cluster feeding in evenings, was about 12 weeks before proper bedtime at about 7/8pm became more realistic. Between about 8-12 weeks he would sometimes sleep an hour or two between feeds in the evening so we just tried for consistency but didn't battle to get him to sleep again if he woke before o would have liked him to!

Was a pain as dinner interrupted etc but seemed the path of least resistance, better going with the cluster feeding than spending an hour shushing/patting & not eating dinner anyway! It did all settle more from 12ish weeks, although even then it was a case of being a bit flexible & gradually adjusting routine taking into account afternoon sleep & awake times.

Be kind to the little one & yourself, 8 weeks is still very young. Around 4 months I was still shh/patting DS while he settled into sleep, seemed to take ages (but was never that long when I actually timed it), has paid off as all the sleep cues, (bath, feed, sleeping bag), now mean he settles v quickly with patting only occasionally needed if he wakes unexpectedly (eg if trapped wind wakes him sometimes 30-60 mins after bedtime).

All the best with it, imo heading towards a consistent pattern is helpful for all concerned but a gentle approach. Sounds like you are getting there!

I started the routine by 8 weeks with both of mine. I had a rule when I started it that they never came downstairs after bath and bed. If they needed feeding, comforting etc it all happened in their room - I only actually had to go up a couple of times. DS1 is 3 now and has never been downstairs after bath and bed - it is almost as if he doesn't know there is a world that carries on after he goes to bed.

I think it is great to start it early as it makes such a difference to all of your lives if you don't have a bedtime battle.

Started routine Day 1 out of hospital. Nothing too structured, just bum out, bath, bottle / boob, bed.

Still no routine to speak of in the day (DD is 19 weeks), she sleeps when she's tired but is pretty clockwork about mealtimes - her choice! By about 6pm she is more than ready to go upstairs for bedtimd stuff.

Agree with BoysRule, she never comes down after going to bed.

Totally agree with BoysRule. I started this around 6 weeks with both my boys (and they're both still brilliant at bedtime, aged 5 and 2). I started with bath bottle bed and no downstairs. For the first few days/weeks, you might find you're still up there with them most nights (mine would go down after the routine, but wake up an hour later). But you just persist in resettling them, and not bringing them down with you. It's a pain to start with, but after a little while you find that you're having to go up less and less, and eventually the wonderful time comes when you get a whole evening to yourself, and by then they're really fixed in a good routine.

Started when she came out of hospital. DD who is six now is a creature of habit this may or may not be down to this.

Started at five weeks and one day! Involved a bath, big boob feed (could take up to 45 minutes) and then into the moses basket when she was drowsy and almost asleep, but not completely asleep as if she was, she'd wake an hour later. I used to stay in the room until she was asleep in the beginning and then gradually made my time shorter and shorter. On average, it used to take 90 minutes, it was down to 35-45 by about 10 weeks. At 13 weeks she started sleeping through and we've never looked back. She wakes occasionally for teeth or something but that's it.

I'm now 30 weeks with DC2 and am wondering how in the name of all that's holy I'm going to achieve the same thing again given the fact that DH is never home at bedtime!!

We started at 8 weeks - did everything as a Big Bang when he was growing out of his Moses basket so : sleeping in his cot, in his own room & having a bedtime routine, rather than staying up with us, all started at once.

He only started sleeping through at 8 months but we got our evenings back fairly early on whilst introducing bedtime - probably a couple of weeks in. He was very cranky in the evenings (though not a cluster feeder) prior to the routine coming in.

Even now at 9 months, bedtime is the only real bit of routine we have. For instance, he has no set meal or nap times in the day but bedtime is In The Night Garden at 6.20, bath at 7, bed clothes, bottle, cot by 7.30 pretty much every night.

We're first time parents so whilst we can read in books we know in reality parenting is very different! We also get told by various family members that we're making a rod for our own backs blah blah blah if we hold dd when she cries etc.

I have no problem with cuddling her, and rocking her, because I'd rather that than her screaming in her crib for hours, because I can't bear hearing her cry like that it's awful.

She seems to be settling into a routine of sorts of her own making, and seems to be asleep for around 8 after a feed. Last night she didn't wake again until 4, but most nights it's around 10 for another feed that will see her through till 4. At 8 weeks I know I can't complain! We have just started a baby massage course that she seems to be enjoying so would like to use that to help her sleep.

Good for you for not leaving her to scream. Although I was quite a fan of routine with both my two, I never, ever left them to cry for longer than five minutes or so (and never to scream). The two (routine and 'controlled crying') do NOT have to go hand in hand. As for the specifics of her routine, it's whatever works for you - but in my experience, I always woke them for a feed at around 10/11pm, which enabled them to go longer in the morning. Sometimes they don't even wake up for that feed - they just take it while asleep. I didn't drop that 'dreamfeed' until around the time they started solids, and it meant that after 3 or 4 months I might get to sleep all the way through from 11pm until 6am - bliss!

Thank you lapindebois you've made me feel so much better about not letting her cry! I'm trying dream feeds and they do help so I'm going to continue with those and carry on with what we're doing, we seem to be moving in right direction!
And as for controlled crying I don't think I could do it, certainly not when she's this little. If she cries she wants something so I'll carry on going to her as I am.
Thank you.

Our bedtime 'routine' has developed gradually since dd was really quite tiny (3 or 4 wks I think). Started with a bath around 6.30/7 and change into nighttime clothes and then we'd just have her downstairs with us, feeding and sleeping, until we went to bed. When I noticed she was consistent conking out at 9ish I starting taking her upstairs and putting in crib then. Since about 10wks I've done the whole thing upstairs - so bath, nighttime clothes, long breastfeed on my bed, she falls asleep on boob, I swaddle her and put her in co-sleeper crib. That's usually done by 8.30 and she sleeps thru until 5.30ish, and has done since she was about 9wks I think. I think that's more down to her, but perhaps the routine helps? Downside is routine takes 90mins at least and we end up eating dinner really late!

We've always had one - even though at first it was simply making sure the last feed of the day was done in the dark bedroom, and once she was 'in bed' she didn't come back into the main house until morning.