I can't cope with the relentless nagging

[rickman]

I'm so fed up, I don't know where to start really.

My kids are driving me mad, I never have a minutes peace and I just can't cope at the moment.

They always want something, it doesn't matter what I give them or where I take them it isn't enough. They don't seem to understand the concept of wait, particularly dd2 who goes on and on at me all the time. She also does this thing when I am telling her to wait, or asking her not to do something, where she tenses her face up and makes it shake, I can't really describe it but it makes it look like she is not taking me at all seriously.

Ds1 and dd2 are also bickering constantly and it is exhausting. I have had an appointment through this morning for Tier 2 counselling for ds1 as he is still highly emotional and prone to lots of screaming.

I desperately want to give up smoking, but despite all my good intentions, I'm so stressed I just never seem to manage it.

I feel useless and a complete failure. I made myself a single parent with 4 kids to look after, I feel that I should get it right but I am so obviously not. :(

Please don't be so hard on yourself - you are far from useless and you are certainly not a failure. I've read other posts from you and you sound like a positive, loving parent.

I don't have any real advice, except to ask is there anything that you can do to get yourself some time out every so often, replenish your reserves, and relax.

oh rickman, you are so so so so so so so so hard on yourself, you really shouldnt be. Really shouldnt be. {{{hugs}}}}
I think ive said this before but do the very bare minumum, breakfast, clothed, dvd, bla bla bla bla bla till you have had some time for yourself.
You didnt make yourself a single parent, he was a useless mind fucking twat.

anyone who is a single parent with 4 kids deserves a medal. Sending big >. It must be really hard work. I dont know how you do it. Nagging and whinging is one of the worse things (apart from lack of sleep). They should use audio tapes of nagging, whinging children and play them as forms of torture ... I am sure it would work a treat.

Thanks for the nice comments, but I really am quite useless.

I spend half the time walking around muttering about killing myself (don't worry, I'm not serious) and the rest of the time worrying what would happen to the kids if anything happened to me.

So your wandering about stressing a lot. Have you sat the kids down and had a word with them? Parcel up 2 of them and send them down here for a week!

Which 2 would you like? Did dd1 get dd1's email?

I was thinking about getting you to come and stay with me for a week, I think you should hire yourself out as a smoking expert!

You're all being very nice, but you only see a little bit of me. I am really horrible most of the time. I try to make life as good as I can for us, but it always seems to go wrong. I just don't get it right.

Any 2 :)...I DOOOOOOOOOO think you are too hard on yourself . Really really. If you are screeching at them 24/7 then just STOP...think about what really really matters and screech then.
The last couple of days my screeching has been over my 2 being nasty to each other. Other things, overlooked.
Start of last week I was screeching over the mess.
They are really lovely kids rickman, they are well behaved and nice. I hate other peoples kids. Yours are lovely.
Regarding the smoking, its a shit, it really is.
Your making yourself feel even worse by stop/starting(failing) and im not sure whether to suggest forgetting it just for now...not my normal tactic, but if its another stress in your life, the not being able to stop, then you NEED to stop so you can stop stressing about it.
( I sat on the loo wanting to commit suicide because I was soo exhausted and fed up with myself NOT being able to stop/keep starting/etc)
I came to the conclusion, the only way I was gonna stop was to never have another fag, ever ever ever ever.
I couldnt, because everytime I did have 1 it was a weeks worth...and all I wanted to do was stop.
You too will come to realise that...no matter what happens you cant smoke..and it doesnt fucking help anyway. It really doesnt.
If it tidyed up the mess. Or sorted out the kids....then yeah. But its doesnt. It just knocks your confidence and makes you feel a twat.
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I know it well.
But, you are a good mum and you have lovely kids.

ps looking for email now

yep, in the junk mail wedged between some rudes ones. Will get dd to email back tommorow. Still have parcel in kitchen.....im useless.

Oh Rickman I totally know what you mean only I don't have to cope with it on my own like you

Bet you have no time for yourself do you?

Kids are so draining at times but so rewarding at others.

You sound to me like you are doing a fantastic job just bringing those children up.

Our kids are very spoiled and its our doing, we have given them far too much and now nothing is ever good enough for them.

BTW, whos standards are you crap compared too???
I feel 3-5 meals a day, a bath, denitted, a game, a laugh, clean clothes, a garden to play in and a full tummy as well as a mummy who gives a shit is more than a lot of kids get.
You could have 4 of them crammed in a flat 7 days a week hungry dirty and beaten.

Parcel in post...how long>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>????????????????????????? 6 months or something daft LOL sorrry..

Anyway Captain von Trapp was a terrible parent - you're clearly way better than him for a start

rickman you are not alone honestly my ds11 dd4 treat me like a lump of poo!ds1 is yet to lol
sometimes i wonder why i bother as nothing seems to please them
chin upx

Thank you.