Mixfed but demanding to be breastfed before bedtime.

[LMC79]

My daughter is 9 weeks old and although she has mainly breast milk she has a formula bottle at lunchtime and before bed. Over the last week she has begun crying at around 8 pm and will not settle with my husband even if he is offering her the bottle.

I could understand this if she wasn't used to him feeding her a bottle but she is, and yet the only way she will calm down is if I put her to the breast.

Has anyone else experienced this and if so what did you do, as it is really upsetting my husband and I worry what will happen if I'm ever out etc.

Thanks in anticipation of any responses.

I would just go along with it, babies change their needs so quickly. Mix feeding is not easy to keep up as babies often favour the bottle so it's good that your baby still wants to nurse.

She may be having a growth spurt and be trying to stimulate your supply, she may be having a developmental leap and find it difficult to drop off or she may just want the reassurance and closeness that she gets from bf.

My DS is 8 months so I remember how it feels but honestly, you aren't making a rod for your own back or any of that nonsense, savour the snuggles and in a few weeks she will probably have decided on a new routine!

Hi LMC - In my experience with two daughters, mix feeding is no guarantee that they won't have a mind of their own and ensure that they get the delivery method they prefer, when they prefer it. Both of mine were mix fed from birth, moved to ebm when weaning started, and then became total bottle refusniks. Nightmare for dehydration when I went back to work at 6 months.
I'll get flamed for this but in my experience if you want to continue to mix feed and have evenings out/KIT days, etc then your DH will just have to tough it out. She'll come around but not if you are in the house. They have a sixth sense for this. Wave goodbye and go to the gym or for a walk until you get a text to say she's gone to sleep. Be sure that your DH knows not to force the bottle on her/into her mouth - men can be very task oriented and you don't want to turn it into a battleground. Assuming she is your PFB, you will both crack before she does. Just to offer it, withdraw it if no interest and offer again in 10/15 mins. Don't stress if she skips a feed entirely.

Alternatively, resign yourself to the preference and the fact that you are losing this one and will be doing the pre-bedtime feeds from now until she is weaned. Your DH could do the dreamfeed with a bottle or do bathtime, and then hand her over to be fed. It's good to have him do some cuddles and put her in the cot while still conscious though.

I think she will bf when you are there, but will happily take a bottle when older and you are not there. They do know when you are there and my LO settled fine when I was out but wanted me to BF her when I was at home.

Have you checked your teat size on the bottle?

She still has the size one teats and under normal circumstances takes a bottle fine, its just that when shes being a pickle she didn't even attempt to try the bottle.

She isn't 'being a pickle' she just wants the comfort of breast and breastmilk to settle her to sleep.

Personally I would just feed her when she wants it, in all likelihood she would then take a bottle if you were out.

She may be in the middle of a mental 'leap'. Every so often babies experience a big progression in their understanding of the world which is a vital part of their development. However they can find it very scary and unsettling and it can make them 'clingy' or in other words sensibly determined to stay close to mum. 'The Wonder Weeks' is a great book which explains. I would follow baby's cues myself when she is still so tiny.

Just BF her, BFing a baby to sleep is the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Go swimming, to the gym or something one or two nights a week and get DH to feed her when your out. I'm sure she'll be fine.

My totally bottle, formula refusing DD was fine with yoghurt and juice of DH (she had to be older before I could leave her) despite BFing 6 nights a week.

Cheers everyone.

I have no problem with bf before bed but sadly she rarely goes down to sleep well if I feed her, reason being is that she falls asleep on me and we could spend hours with me feeding-laying her down-feeding and so on. Tried the numerous ways of keeping them awake during a feed too.

Thankfully she was better last night...and had just slept over 7 hours!!!