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Original poster

Baby won't sleep in pram or crib

48 replies

Littlemissexpecting · 07/07/2013 23:02

My 2 week old ds will only sleep on me or DH.
We have tried putting him in the pram or the crib and he either cries or he wakes up and then cries.
I have tried putting a top of mine in (as suggested by mw) but doesn't seem to help. This is not just night time but day as well so I am getting very little done.
I have tried waiting till he has been fed then fallen into a deep sleep, also DH has tried placing him in but neither works.
Mw has suggested leaving him to cry but I'm not keen to do that either, as he then gets himself worked up and it's really difficult to then settle him.
So far I have been letting him sleep on me so we can get some sleep/ quiet but need advice as long term we can't do this and DH is now back at work. Any ideas? I'm feeling like a very rubbish first time mum at the minute.

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sarahbanshee · 07/07/2013 23:09

Have you got a sling? Wrap sling for preference over a baby Bjorn type thing for a baby this little. Pop him in, he feels secure and held, he sleeps, you have free hands, job done.

Although with a baby so small do go easy on yourself about how much you get done - make sure you eat and nap, but let everything else go a bit. It's full on with a newborn.

Original poster
Littlemissexpecting · 07/07/2013 23:11

Not got a sling but I thought about getting one. It won't help at night however but may try it for the day

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christinarossetti · 07/07/2013 23:16

My dd was like this, and it was hard to believe that she would gradually change but of course she did.

Definitely sling for day time (an Ergo saved my life) and do what you need to do at night time (using safe co-sleeping guidelines which I'm sure you are doing).

Don't worry about 'long term' - your baby will gradually become more independent and not need to sleep on you etc.

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TheYamiOfYawn · 07/07/2013 23:20

This is totally normal for a newborn. Your baby will probably sleep when being cuddled (a sling is really handy if this phase lasts for longer than a few weeks) or in a moving pushchair (or car, if you are desperate). If you want the baby to sleep in bed with you at night, check out the safe co-sleeping guidelines. I can't link from my phone, but someone will probably post them in a minute, or google "unicef bedsharing guidelines".

If the thought of slings and cosleeping fills you with Horry, try googling Harvey Karp. His book and DVD (Baby Bliss in the UK, but a different name in the US) are pretty good for tips on creating a comforting environment that will help a newborn to go to sleep.

TheYamiOfYawn · 07/07/2013 23:21

Horror, not Horry

Original poster
Littlemissexpecting · 08/07/2013 04:30

Will definitely look into a sling, and that book.
I would rather not bed share as we only have a double bed, and feel dh can't sleep on the sofa forever, especially now he's back at work.
Just very frustrating for now!

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happydaze77 · 08/07/2013 10:38

You're absolutely NOT a rubbish 1st time mum - you're a brilliant mum who is cuddling your ds when he needs it, rather than leaving him to cry. There's some great advice on here about trying a sling. Just remember 'this too shall pass'. As difficult as it may be right now, you'll soon miss these times.

happydaze77 · 08/07/2013 10:41

Swaddling really helped for us - it makes them feel very secure, as though they're still being held, iyswim? (Although dd was a winter baby - not sure about swaddling in this heat)

Smilehappy · 08/07/2013 10:47

Google John Lewis sleepyhead deluxe, and read the reviews it's pretty expensive but it has over 65 reviews all with 4 / 5. Everyone who has had trouble with their baby sleeping and that have tried this product has said it's the best thing they have bought, I plan on getting it for DS when he is born.

Good luck xxxThanks

Disclaimer: I do not work for John Lewis SmileGrin

mrscog · 08/07/2013 10:48

Your baby is totally normal and your MW is completely wrong to suggest you should leave a 2 week old to cry. I'm shocked at that advice and I would suggest reporting her to a superior - not necessarily in a mean way, but because she clearly needs some training. You sound like you're doing a great job.

My DS was like this for 8 weeks and we bed shared in a double - is your DH a smoker? If not then there's no reason why you couldn't share as long as the baby is on your side. You could push the bed up against the wall if you're worried about your baby falling out.

Smilehappy · 08/07/2013 10:49

Ps the sleepyhead is very portable and can go inside the crib, cot, bed - wherever xx

mrscog · 08/07/2013 10:49

Oh also, have you tried a white noise app? That also used to help settle my DS :)

TopCat1881 · 08/07/2013 10:55

I can really recommend a sleepyhead pod - my Ds has used it since birth and settles very quickly. I bring it downstairs in the daytime so he has his naps in there too. It's not cheap, I think it was about £90 from John Lewis but has been worth every penny!

tomatoplantproject · 08/07/2013 10:56

We had this with dd - during the day she would sleep either in the sling, cuddled with me or out in her pram. At night she would fall asleep on one of us and we would very gently pop her in her crib/cot. We waited until she was 7 mo before breaking the habit with cc (itisn't popular on here but we thought long and hard about using it as a method and it has made a big difference to all of us dd included). Your baby will only be tiny for a short while and needs your cuddles!

purplemurple1 · 08/07/2013 12:25

Have you tried warming the cot sheet (by running a hot water bottle over it), or having bb fall asleep in thier sleeping bag while your holding them in the evenings? (So they aren't going into a cold bed.)

ng1412 · 08/07/2013 13:44

Sorry to gatecrash this thread but we are having the same problem with our DS who is 8 weeks old. He falls asleep on me then as soon as I put him in the moses basket or crib or my bed then he wakes up. It isn't that that the sheets are too cold as the room is unfortunately warm as we are in France and are having a heatwave.

We never had this problem with our DD when she was born (she is now 2) so this is all new to me. It is driving me mad as I can't do anything.

How does the Sleepyhead thing help if you BF and they fall asleep on you while you are sitting in a chair? Don't they wake up if you move them onto it afterwards?

Ashinagai · 08/07/2013 14:50

We had/have this problem with 5mo DS. Have you considered he may have reflux? The reason he is happier sleeping on you could be that he is more upright, which helps with the reflux. It's hard to tell in newborns as one of the signs is constant throwing up, which babies do anyway... Have you noticed that he seems to throw up more when he is hungry? I think it is the acid coming up when their tummy is rumbling.
Otherwise you could google Gradual Retreat methods, basically you put baby in the cot, and stroke/reassure them till they fall asleep. I definitely would NOT try CC on such a tiny baby (in fact I don't think I will ever have the stomach for it!)
Worth going to the GP to rule out reflux I think.

Smilehappy · 08/07/2013 16:57

Ng1412 - look at the reviews on John Lewis I'm sure someone mentioned your query there x

WestieMamma · 08/07/2013 17:09

My 11 week old only sleeps in a vibrating bouncer.

Original poster
Littlemissexpecting · 08/07/2013 17:27

Don't think he has reflux as not really a sicky baby but I do notice he is sick a little when placed down flat.
Swaddling is good idea but not sure in this heat, our bedroom is around 25 degrees just now

OP posts:
Kafri · 08/07/2013 21:42

Have a look at silent reflux - the acid burns the throat but doesn't come all the way up.

DS has it. He spent the first 8 weeks sleeping upright on either me or DH. On from that we found he would settle much better on his tummy. By this point we had him on a combination of meds and milk which had made a difference - it was trial and error with gaviscon, ranitidine, omeprazole, LF milk and CMP free milk. He settle ok on CMP free milk and omeprazole. He is 6m now and we have noticed a massive improvement in him. He still sleeps on his tummy but for the first time yesterday he managed to fall asleep on his back

If it isn't silent reflux, then it could just be that he is taking that little bit longer to adjust to the outside world. Think about it, ALL he has known is being carried around and swayed inside you - 24 hour comforting. All of a sudden, he's in a big wide world, completely different to his cosy womb. Google Dr Harvey Karp, He saved my sanity.
Not only could I not put my DS down, I also couldn't stand still with him - he had to be rocked/swayed constantly.

DH and I did shifts with him in his early weeks. I would get up at 1am and be with him tip 6pm to allow DH to get some sleep and go to work, then when DH came on from work, he'd take over with the bouncing/rocking/swaying while I made a quick tea and then jumped in bed for a bit of kip myself and then start again the next day - it was bloody hard work but honestly, my memories now are not as bad as I thought they were at the time!

It's frustrating when you can't get anything done but really, it's not long in the grand scheme of things. I found it best not to put demands on myself. If I got something anything done in the day it was a bonus, if I didn't manage anything, well what did it matter.

It took me a long time to just accept that that was what DS needed at the time and i'd like to think that if DC2 ever comes along, i'll be a bit better at just accepting whatever they throw at me in the early days.

It all sounds a bit doom and gloom which I don't mean it to so i'll end by saying that at 6m now, DS is going through a pretty easy phase. The hardest thing is finding somewhere to go each day that doesn't cost the earth to do as a full day in the house is still pretty hard as he gets bored which leads to cranky which quickly escalates to screaming mess.

Oh, and agree with the carrier option - a sling is what i've found to be the most comfortable, especially as he has got heavier.

Good luck, and enjoy and embrace those newborn cuddles - those early days are over in the blink of an eye.

DaveMccave · 08/07/2013 21:50

Totally normal. Putting babies down and away from us to sleep is a modern and western phenomenon. Get some slings (not a baby bjorn type. Try a moby, or Victoria sling lady on eBay, or google for your nearest sling library). Read up on safe co sleeping. Read dr sears, and the book 'three in a bed' is a good one. (Not just about co-sleeping, but the history of baby training and cry it out methods).

AntsMarching · 08/07/2013 21:50

We got a sheepskin for dd1. She settled in it really well. It kept her cool in the heat (have to get real not synthetic). Also helped when we traveled. Just rolled it up and took it with us, then put it wherever she was sleeping on the trip and (I think) th familiarity helped her settle.

Alanna1 · 08/07/2013 22:33

Are you swaddling? (properly) - but be aware of SIDS guidelines and make sure baby doesn't overheat. Are you using a dummy? may need to keep replacing at this age. Babies will sleep in their cots but also make sure they are properly tired before you try. IMO a little crying is ok but you know the difference between a protest cry and a wail. I rock my DD until nearly nearly asleep and then pop her down with her dummy. She protests for about 5-10 seconds then goes to sleep. Any longer and I pick her up and rock some more. I keep my hand on her chest as she falls more asleep, and take the dummy out after a few mins. I use a baby sleeping bag now.

debbie1412 · 08/07/2013 23:02

With both of mine I've let them fall asleep on me then wrapped a blanket around them and tucked it in like a swaddle then put them down. If they stir on the lift being them close to you ago and lower yourself and the swaddle into the crib. Stay lowered over them while you pull your hands away and ease your body back up. It's very normal for them to be unsettled out of your arms. Sometimes it works sometimes it take a few goes x