What do you do to make life easier for yourself?

[shakespeare]

I'm still learning the ropes managing two (4 dd, 9m ds) and I still attempt waaaaay too much waaaay to often.

I'm finding myself in a constant state of stress, feeling like I'm never getting the things done I need (or would like) to do AND I'm a SAHM. I say that as I am shocked (and slightly embarrassed) that I didn't realise that this really IS a full time bleedin' job! I really do take my hat off to all the working mums out there.

I feel like I'm always chasing my tail and must admit to feeling a little weepy most days as its just so relentless....the laundry, the dishwasher, the cooking, the prepping for lunches, life admin, house admin, tidying, playing arrggggggg. I never feel I have my head above the water. I have a lovely, wonderful partner but of course he is out 10 hours a day so not a huge help on a day to day basis.

So what do you do to make your life easier? Hired help? One meal for the whole family? Regular takeaways? Time out every week for yourself? Exercise? Would love to hear how other manage....

Great thread thanks-I have 3 yo DS & baby coming in 10 days so making notes.

I plan to get a routine & do weekly wash where all small items-baby & underwear go into tumble drier-everything goes on radiators at mo & process takes ages.

I think beans & toast or tinned spaghetti/soup & bread one eve a week is fine. May even purchase an acti-fryer.

Also from the housekeeping tips thread, will start to keep sets of bedding in boxes under the bed they fit. It's good to put e.g. a sheet, duvet cover & pillowcase inside a pillowcase & then it's all together.

Make kids do what they can-have started to drill into 3yo, don't put it down, put it away! Also he's going to have toys in boxes that go under spare room bed & will be allowed one box at a time & strict tidy time.

We're lucky we can go to my parents quite often-use any opportunity to share the childcare-I can chill even when I'm there for an hour or two & they play with DS & make me tea :)

One meal for everyone, I accept my house is never going to be tidy until DS is older so I keep it clean and don't worry about the mess, and I ask for help when I need it.

When DS was newborn my gran used to come and say she would give the kitchen a good scrub out for me I always said no but now I just let her she seems to enjoy it mad woman she is and I have nice clean cupboards, anything like that any offers at all I jump at.

Don't stress about how little a toddler/child eats. I used to really wind myself up about them not eating a proper lunch / dinner. They won't starve - mine are like camels they'll eat for 3 days non stop then precious little for the next 3 days.

Sometimes it feels like every other child is a better sleeper - they're not

Work out what household stuff really needs doing for your own sanity. Me I can't stand dishes sitting about even when washed but tidy kids rooms I'm not that bothered with.

Shower before bed, can save a bit of time and you don't feel as gangy in the morning.

Have a Curly Wurly a day - this will help you face anything.

Thanks so much for your suggestions folks. Some I'm already doing some (meal planning, snacky lunches, routine for getting out etc), others I think I will start (batch cooking, chocolate, drugs - a fine suggestions if ever there was one, thank you MorrisZapp).

I think it does come down to learning (the hard way) how much you can realistically achieve in the time frame you have isn't it? And with two at home, that is very little bar the most essential stuff. And with one at home, maybe one job over and above the essential stuff. I've been half way through some elaborate meal that I would have attempted (and had time for) before no. 2; you know, saute this, brown that, and just thought 'what the fuck am I doing??'. So now its back to the basics. And yes, one meal for all. And definitely no ironing!

It doesn't help that we are (cosmetically) doing up our house. So there is always extra stuff that has to be could be done. I've got a 'to do' list as long as my arm but when I look at it honestly, most of it is ridiculously unimportant (clean the lights anyone??) Bloody 'to do' lists. Your constantly reminded of the stuff you haven't done, no matter how insignificant it is and then feeling guilty/a failure for not doing it. I find myself walking past things in my house uttering under my breath 'I must do this, I have to do that', like some bloody mad woman. I wasn't like that before I owned my own home!

Also its the down time/own time that I find hard to manage or insist on. Over the weekend, I may head out on my own but that is usually to do the things that are easier to do sans children. However my outings nearly always involves either thinking about my children (clothes shopping for them), or thinking about the house (DIY stuff). I relish going out on my own but its generally not relaxing or really time where I switch off. I'm trying to exercise 3 x p/w as well, and God help me, although important, its hardly down time. It doesn't help matters either that we, like most of us, are broke, so massages, pedicures etc are kind of out at the moment.

Yep, I guess it will get easier. Its always good to know that others are in the same boat tho. I'm an older Mum (40) and pretty much all of my close friends have children far older than mine so have forgotten what this stage is like, so I sometimes feel a little bit isolated.

Oh well, better go, its 8pm and have meal planning to do, washing to fold, dehumidifiers to research, kitchens to clean, to do lists to draft......

Haha Shakespeare, I feel you. Awaiting no 2 arriving & worried about the chaos that's about to descend.

Even though you haven't a lot of funds I think it's important to get a few hours fun each every few weeks so maybe try to go out with a friend for a drink or cinema & leave oh home. Small treats each at home when you're together can make it seem like a date night too.

Exercise 3xpw seems like a luxury I could never achieve but if thats important to you then something else will have to give for this time. Just try to enjoy any time on your own. Internet shopping & research is useful.