DSD wants to babysit her little brother. Laws? Would it be irresponsible?

[matana]

My stepdaughter is 13.She doesn't live with us full time, but spends a lot of time with us and is especially close to her little brother, who will be 3 in November. She's very sensible, knows our 'rules' and is able to both play with and discipline him (if required).

She will be staying with us for a week in August and has said that she would love to babysit him to give DH and I an evening out on our own. We wouldn't go far (probably just the Indian 5 mins walk away) if we went out, and i would probably also want him in bed before we go out, but i wondered what others think?

I trust her implicitly and know she would call if there were any problems. As i said, she's very sensible. But would it be completely irresponsible of us? What is the law?

I babysat (for cash) from a similar age but always had a friend with me to start with so that there was one to comfort child/one to call parents etc if needed.

Does she have anyone (possibly slightly older?) near you she could do this jointly with?

Oh yes, she has a lovely friend who is equally sensible and mature - she's her best friend and DH and I had already discussed this as a possibility so she has some moral support if need be.

I just want to encourage her relationship with my DS which i think is lovely - it could so easily have been different as is sometimes the case with half siblings. She would do anything for him and i want her to realise that i trust her with him. But not at the expense of her safety.

I seem to remember 14 is the age for babysitting. But I'm also pretty certain that there is no legal age minimum for leaving your own children unattended, which is what you will be doing.
I'm sure it will be fine, you will be very close, if her fiend comes too even better.
I would do it.

If I recall correctly, the law is that if you leave your child with someone under 16 the responsibility for that child stays with you. There's nothing to stop you leaving your child with a 13 year old, but if something goes wrong, you'll be the one held accountable. So basically it's your judgment call.

Your stepdaughter and family sound lovely. Just a thought, do you know your DSD's mum would be ok with this too?

Thanks DIY yes I would want to talk to her mum first and would respect her opinion.

Trust your judgment. She'll enjoy the responsibility. You could just go for a very very quick drink at whatever is your closest place. If you are still worried you could buy a webcam and use an internet browser and 3G to also keep an eye (or the place might have wifi). Talk to her about emergencies.

A webcam? Jesus wept- how to destroy what looks like a lovely relationship in one easy move........

I'd let my 12y if I was close by, she's brilliant with small children , I can do my own that's it.

If I was further off I'd employ DD2 to baby sit and DD1(15) as first aid and a cool head in a crisis. Not because she's older, but just she's the self reliant one.

I let my 13 or old babysit how younger siblings, I get them all to bed and asleep amd then go out. I wouldn't expect to leave a 13 yr old to do the bedtime routine, but if you put him to bed and then go out and are close by and contactable I think that is fine :)

It would for some - not all. We use webcams all the time as so much of my family and friends are spread around the country and the world. My oldest can use the ipad herself to skype her grandparents and her godmother. She loves it.

I use it when I also need to distract her for a bit and look after the baby - she then chats to her grandparents etc.

We have a portable webcam too, as we had that first, and used to use it loads and loads and loads.

You know your dsd and her capabilities, she'll have a sensible friend and you will be five minutes away with your phones switched on - I'd do it. But I'd talk through what to do if there was an emergency such as sudden illness/injury or a fire.

I coped with a toaster fire at a younger age but only because I'd seen how to deal with an electrical fire on Blue Peter and knew not to throw water on it, and was sensible enough to send my little sister out to fetch a neighbour!

You might use webcams to communicate- so do I. But in this case the op would be using a webcam in a way that would show her dsd that she doesn't trust her. Very unpleasant.

Its up to the OP, surely. You might find it very unpleasant. I wouldn't. Each to their own. I live in a very tall narrow house with only really one room on each floor and a very long garden. I use webcams to see what the young toddler is up too if I'm upstairs with the baby and it goes suspiciously silent, and on the baby when she's in bed. I think its a great use of modern technology.

I also have a 10 year old sister. She likes watching the baby - and indeed herself! - on the TV. (As does the toddler, baby xxx sleeping, she says, looking at it). She's obv not old enough to babysit but I don't think she'd see it as a lack of trust.

(And yes, the toddler and my sister love communicating through it or waving at each other, although that tends to be accompanied by shrill yelling. I don't think its that different from long range walkie talkies (which in fact I'd been thinking of as a present for the 10 year old, who doesn't have a phone - I loved walkie talkies as a kid!).

So you use a webcam it all the time. I would keep that under review if i were you- children value their privacy qs they get older. However, that is very different from buying one specially because you don't trust your daughter to babysit.

I babysat my younger brother and sister from about age 13 in evening normally from about 7-8.30pm maybe less about once a week back then there were no mobile phones though we had house phone so could ring neighbour or 999

my mum and dad were happy about it so was i never thought it an imposition and I was responsible so I think upto 2 hours when nearby is fine maybe go for a shorter time the first time

Gosh. I babysat from 12+ (family and close friends, when the parents were close by - say 5-10 mins walk). Regularly and for cash from 14. (No mobiles then - I'd be left with a phone number for the restaurant or whatever in case of a problem). I can't see how this could be a problem unless you're thinking of leaving them for a weekend together, which I'm sure you're not. I've had 14+ yr olds babysit my two for short periods. Clearly these are people who you know to be trustworthy and sensible and who would be left with all necessary phone numbers and instructions.

Legally no issue.

Thanks everyone, i think i'll take her up on the offer providing her mum is ok with her having that responsibility. Though webcams are great for staying in touch over distance, i think i'm happy to rely on trusting her good sense and leaving her with a list of contact numbers, including our own of course! I'm sure her and her friend will have a blast having the house to themselves for a couple of hours while DS is in blissful and sleepy ignorance upstairs! We'll stay close and put him to bed before we go out. Once he's in bed he stays there (aren't i lucky?!) snoring away, unless he's ill or has a bad dream. The chance of that happening is small, but he loves his big sister and trusts her too, so he'd probably just go back to sleep again with a cuddle anyway.