Ds scared of being kidnapped

[WorkingtoohardMama]

Ds is 7 and is a sensitive soul.

In the last week he has been too scared to go to sleep in his room because he is scared of being kidnapped.

I have to show him that the windows are all shut and reassure him that he is safe; when I go up to bed I find that he has got into our bed, we take him back, but he'll often wake again, scared and come back in to us.

I asked him where he has heard this from, and he said he heard it on the news (assuming its the Jeremy Forrest case) and that friends at school told him that someone in London was kidnapped.

I've tried my best to reassure him, but I can't say it never happens, can I?

I feel that by letting him into our bed, I'm confirming that there is something to be scared of; I tell him that it's my job to keep him safe, so he doesn't need to worry, but he's still worrying.

He has got some worry dolls, so I suggested he tell his worries to them, but he said the thoughts were still there; I made a big thing of pulling the thoughts out of his ears, he did laugh, but still wasn't reassured.

I hate it that he's so young and worrying about this; is this just a normal part of growing up though?

Any tips on how to deal with this would be much appreciated.

Bump

Anyone???

Last bump, any advice would be great!

No advice, sorry, apart from keep on reassuring him. My DS is 5, and comes down most nights after he's been put to bed saying he is scared of something. It is often zombies, or animals smashing in windows he worries about. Tonight he has a cold, and has apparently heard about an illness that has killed children. He thinks he has that, and is going to die in the night!

I think they are old enough to start to realise that bad things can happen, and it is quite normal that it worries them, or at least, I hope so!

Oh god, I'm replying because I don't want you to be on your own with this; but my little one is only 15 months so I have no practical advice for you!

Could you tackle it head on and say that yes it does happen but it's very very rare, and that the teacher who took his pupil was very naughty?

Again, I'm sorry for the totally crap advice (I made it up!) hopefully this was act as a bump for you if nothing else - in fact, why don't you repost in chat? More traffic?

Phew! A cross post!

Thank you so much for your replies, I think I'm struggling with it so much because I feel so sad that he's learning that bad things can happen, the world is such a scary place, and I just don't feel ready for him to know about it.

Part of me wants to tell him not to worry, that it won't ever happen; but I also want him to have an awareness that when I say to him that he needs to stay with me for example, it's for a reason iyswim.

Have you tried telling him that you will keep him safe, that nothing bad can get him because he is protected?
Would a logical approach help instead of random reassurances? Look at a specific incident and unpick it to see why the victim couldn't be him?
Sometimes you have to temper the truth until they can handle it.
When 9/11 happened, my class of Y3 in London were terrified until I pointed out that the planes had blown up two enormous towers and we didn't have any that big anywhere near us. They were calmed by that, enough to stop shaking and crying.
Not the real truth of why and who and how, but they were 7 and needed to feel safe.
Think of it like the tooth fairy and Father Christmas. Not the whole truth. Not yet.

Thanks so much for that, that is what I'm trying, so reassuring that I'm on the right track.

I've said that sometimes bad things happen, but that it's my job to keep him safe and I would never let anything happen. I asked him if he knew anyone that had been kidnapped. When he said no; I said "see, that's because it hardly ever happens". That reassured him for 5 minutes! Think I'll just keep reiterating it and do everything I can to make him feel safe.

Do you know what story/incident has made him aware and scared of kiddnapping? Could you talk that through and explain why that happened and couldn't happen to him?

My neice is about the same age and got really scared of burgulars for a few months the constant reassurance didn't help as there was a rumour going around her older brothers class about a burgular in the area. Getting to the bottom of what she had heard and expalining basically that 1) it wasn't true, 2) her mum and dad protect her 3) the house is locked and secure - she was calmed down.
Think she is scared of bears getting in to the house now - luckily thats easier to explain away in B'ham, and prob my fault for talking about them in front of her as there was one near our house recently (i'm in rural Sweden)