evening routine for older children

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As the kids have got older (7 and 9) and are staying up later, it just feels like we spend much longer trying to do the bedtime routine and our evening starts (ie packed lucnches, clearing up kitchen, ironing etc) much later leaving no time for relaxation. Whilst I love spending time with them I'm looking for ideas to make them a bit more independant and reclaim some of the evening for ourselves. How do others manage this?

I don't have any answers but will watch with interest as I feel exactly the same!

It doesn't really get any better until they are teenagers - then you can't get them out of the bedroom and wish they would spend a bit more time downstairs!

My 7 (nearly 8) year old and 5 (nearly 6) year old are much easier and quicker to get to bed than my 2 year old. I just announce its 7.30, they go upstairs, PJs on, teeth brushed, into their little brothers' room for one story each (a chapter of something each for the older 2 usually, and The Gruffallo's child or Where the Wild things are a picture book for the toddler, then the older 2 go to their rooms and get into bed, I say goodnight to each then go back to the toddler's room to sit in the dark until he's asleep Big 2 are allowed to keep their lights on to read/ look at books til I come to switch them off once the youngest is asleep, but they are always fast asleep by then.

If its a bath night (we only do 3 baths a week) they don't share any more, but do scissor paper stone for who goes first, we start straight after dinner (around 6.30pm) and they get 20 mins actually in the bath each, and are still in bed by the same time.

Then I come down and make packed lunches and tidy up a bit, can be sitting on my bum by 8.30, toddler dependent - sometimes it is a lot later, but without the toddler it would be earlier. That's doing it on my own, if one adult did bedtime and the other tidying and lunches it would be faster.

What do you do?

For me, I had to change my mindset and think okay they're older and staying up later but I still have jobs to be done and so I will do them while they are still up entertaining themselves rather than after they've gone to bed.
So now my relaxation time starts as soon as I have got my youngest to bed (the oldest is a teen so a complete different world!) which is now about 9pm (he's 10)

I gues the change we need to make is not to fall into the trap of both giving them 100% attention. We dont mean to but we seem to be drawn in and they both want individual time. They are rubbish at getting themselves ready for bed if we send them up alone, so we end up chasing and constantly nagging

This is familiar! Tonight was a club, which overran, drop off DCs friend, get home, DC finish off tea/have pudding, and take AN AGE to get to bed as all hyped up from the club. It was nearly 9.30 by the time they were in bed and now I need to sort everything out for tomorrow.

Really with hindsight I should've just done the sorting out while they were eating their tea and getting ready for bed, but they were not very focused and I felt they needed chivvying!

I'm not sure how much sleep my 6 and 8 year olds need but I suspect they need less than I do these days. I don't feel like I can go to sleep until they do though, so I get more and more tired and less efficient and everything gets less organised... its a knackering circle.

so for us life downstairs hasn't changed with age.
bath for DS2 (7) is about 6.30-7pm he runs this himself on instruction and gets in whilst we faff getting milk downstairs.
when he gets out of the bath DS1 (9) goes in for a shower
DS2 dried, into PJ's milk and story lights off by 7.30pm
DS1 into PJ's by 7.30 then he reads in his bedroom till 8pm

we are more chilled at the weekend. but downstairs is still adult area by 9 on a Friday/Saturday.

ah yes..
on beavers night we have a wash rather than a bath so DS1 gets home at 7.30 and he has his wash, milk and story and lights off by 8pm

I think I need to be stricter really, reading this. Am going to make them get ready earlier tomorrow. And also get off mumsnet and get things ready!! Night all.

Showered and in pyjamas by 6.30/7 at the latest. Play a game or read with them till 7.30. Give extra half hour for them to read alone in bed. Kiss goodnight and lights out at 8pm. I do lunches etc while making/ packing away dinner.

mine are 10,8 and 5.

I do find our evenings are shorter. They are pretty good at getting ready. Then each one gets 15 minutes story/me time. If they aren't in pjs etc then they cut into/loose their me time, that has really helped with speeding them up.
So in theory (!) I do first story at 7:15, then 7:30 then 7:45.

My 8 and 10 yo are then allowed to read in their beds, I have done cuddles and talk etc but just have to whizz up and turn lights out confiscate books later.

This does mean they can be up later, but not in my adult space

My 2 are 10 and 6, they go to their rooms at 8pm if they haven't already taken themselves there beforehand. 10yo doesn't need any help/supervision with any aspect of his personal care, 6yo has tooth care supervised and someone nearby whilst she showers (me, dh or even DS withing hearing distance). We go in at about 8.30 to say goodnight, but as a general rule neither of them want us to tuck them in or read with them etc - both find it anything but soothing or relaxing. They can then read/listen to music until they're tired, or until I turn their lights out at 11pm (rare I have to do this).

My 2 don't need a lot of sleep and are very good about not fighting it when they do need to sleep, fortunately I know what it's like so I don't make an issue out of it.