2yr old wakes in the night but sleeps through at grandmas!!! Advice?

[OMGeven1canbetough]

So, approximately 6 months ago we moved DD from her cot into her 'big girls bed'. She was excited, content and the sleep pattern never really changed...she still wakes (on a good night) at 1.30am ish and is up between 5.30-6.15am. A bad night includes a wake up at 10.30pm and 4.30 as well.

Bedtime routine established already: bath, milk, story in bed, sleep (after some negotiation and with one of us remaining in the room) asleep between 7.30 & 8pm. (we tried CC once and within the first 90seconds she had cried so hard she threw up everywhere!)

More recently the wake ups have included an exploration across the landing to our room but we've taken her back to her own bed and she's gone back to sleep. Bribed by the idea of a sticker on the chart if she stays in her own bed all night.

The frustration is that when she sleeps at either grandparents house, she sleeps through from 7.30pm-6.30am with no wake ups. (in a cot)

Any suggestions? Other than sending her to sleep there more often which obviously i'm not going to do...yet :-)

thanks

Good grief I'd be considering having her stay with you by day and at GPS by night! How frustrating that must be for you. I'm not going to be able to offer any advice, just sympathy... I have been away twice overnight from my one year old, a child who must sleep next to me and have several bfs every night. Left with daddy - he sleeps in the cot and re-settled easily from a couple of wakenings. They are just different with other people. If you find you don't get many replies, worth reporting over in "sleep" by the way.

My children all did this unless they were in cots. I'd return to a cot for now!

what made you move her into a bed? was it the hope she might sleep longer?

You don't say how old your DD is but all my DCs stayed in cotbeds til about 3.5.

Darkness? Quiet? Tired from excitement of visit? Different food/drink before bed? Blankets/duvet/bag thing?

Once asleep there isn't much difference between cot/bed is there? So, what else is different?

Mine still in a cot here and at granny's. He will also sleep through and until later at hers.

They just sleep and eat better with other people. Probably to make us feel more crap about our parenting.

Does Grandma just not hear a muttering, so your daughter goes back to sleep?

3.5y in cotbed??? I should be so lucky. DS1 climbed out just before his second birthday (days before his little brother arrived), and DS2 got out at 19 months.

It's true, I think they behave better for other people. DS (21 months) has always slept better at Grandmas for no apparent reason. They know what they can get away with with us!

Maybe habits have been established that need to be broken? They know they are onto a good thing if we go along with it, even though it is annoying the hell out of us! Easy to say, but poss look at small things that you might be doing that seem to be working for her but are actually holding her.....and you all back from a decent nights sleep.
Why do you do/how do you respond when she wakes in the night? How old is she?

What happens when she wakes up, she has learnt it is worth waking up with you? i would put her back in a cot & cut out any interaction when she wakes - return to bed or cot, tell her it's sleep time and close the door. No more interaction, she will cry the first couple of nights but thrn she will understand nights are for sleeping at your house too.

My DS is always so well behaved and sleeps so much better for childminder, GPs etc.

I have this exact thing with my DS and solved the mystery this weekend. As another poster said, my inlaws just weren't hearing him

Yup. My inlaws just didn't hear my DS either. It was only when we all stayed and I was at the other end of the house, heard him wailing, they were still fast asleep in the room next door after having been adamant that they didn't need the monitor on.

I love my inlaws and they are generally great GPs but on that occasion Words Were Had.

Having said that, my two do continue to sleep better there - probably because granny keeps them up later and gives them "supper" (e.g. a whole extra meal!) after their bath. Tbh I'm already counting down the minutes to 7, the idea of dealing with them for another hour and then conducting my fourth cleanup operation before I can go off duty fills me with rage.

What do they do different? Do they ignore her at night? Do they walk away instead of staying in the room with her, or is their room darker or lighter or have a night light?

Grumpia - that's exactly what happened with us this weekend!

I was thinking this might be a suggestion. Is it worth trying a bed rail first? Opinions please...

My DS has not slept through one single night of his life, except for when grandparents were in charge. Supposedly.

My conclusions based on my experience were:

A) grandparents are lying so they get to spend more time with DS (possible)
B) they didn't hear him (likely)
C) they let him cry (I hope not)
D) he slept through (unlikely)

DD is 2 this week.

They don't ignore her, if anything they dote on her more...

We don't give her attention when she wakes in the night, we just take her back to bed and sit with our back to her til she goes to sleep (10mins). If we walk out the room she screams and cries so hard that she throws up...just don't feel I can put her through that (hoping there's an alternative?).

We put her into the bed because she climbed out of her cot...

Thanks to everyone who's replied so far...mums are fab!