dad not talking to baby

[lenasmum]

My husband does basically equal child care of our 11 month old daughter since I went back to work full time (at 5 months). I work at the weekend and he looks after her alone. When I'm at home and he's looking after her (when I'm not in the room), he basically never talks to her. I think this pattern probably continues all day. I have told him how important I think it is to talk to babies for their language development, especially at this age, but he is very moody and that has been counter-productive. Do you think this is important enough for me to argue with him over it, or can I relax that she is getting enough language input from me on the days I look after her? Thanks for your advice!

He needs to talk to her. That's how babies learn to talk.

He sounds a pita tbh

Agree he needs to be talking to her.

I don't understand how he can't. Doesn't being with babies promote some sort of interaction thing. How can anyone not talk to a5 month old. They are gorgeous at that age babbling away

tbh I'd be pissed off if DP didn't talk to DS at 11 months the can understand so much it's just rude to ignore a baby just because they can't talk back.

It would annoy me to be honest. Babies at that age are absorbing so much, such a waste to not take full advantage of that and interact as much as possible. Our DS2 is 18 months and although he only says about 15 words, he understands so much. Both me, DH and even DS1(age 5) interact with him and engage him in conversations even if he gives little back!

I think it's quite odd that he wouldn't talk to a baby, especially one as old as 11 months. What about little things like nappy changes, getting dressed etc?? Does he not talk to her and explain it's time for a nappy change or chat to her while she's eating lunch? Maybe he does do it on his own but feels daft doing it in front of you. I would definitely have a conversation about but in a gentle way rather than accusing him of never talking to her because you don't know what he's like when you're not there.

If he's not talking to her, what is he doing?

If he's engaged in other ways, I mght be tempted to let it go. she will hear other people talking and has you to talk to. Maybe she's just learning other stuff with her dad?

My husband didn't talk to our son that much until he talked talking. I don't think he liked talking to him when he couldn't talk back.. it felt too much like talking to himself. they read books together a lot. Now our son can talk, they chat all the time. Maybe suggest other ways they can communicate but accept that your dh might not like to give a running commentary on hanging out the laundry.

k

Maybe he feels silly and can't think of anything to say? Maybe reading the baby actual books etc so it's got a focus rather than just general chatter?

Is he engaging with baby at all?

wee I agree, find people find it hard, I'm sure he'll find it easier as she gets older.

Some not find

Get him to go to classes like music classes etc

I found it hard prattling onto a baby when I had dc1 (am quite the master of it now ) and I know dp found it even harder. All changes once dc start talking etc. I don't think this is really all that unusual and I doubt very much its going to have much of an impact on your dc's verbal skills.

This book is great.

Would your DH read it?

Could he just read outloud - news, football results, work stuff - what ever he is reading?

Does the topic matter, at 11months?
(I'm preg with my first so that is a genuine question.)

He might just feel a bit odd talking to someone who doesn't understand or respond yet. He might also be a bit sensitive and feel unappreciated and feel like you are criticising his care of your child. Maybe say that you will both start having to speak to the baby soon as she is now getting a bit bigger. Rather than singling his care out? I know I would be quite sensitive about being told that I am doing things wrong with my daughter .........

So you made an observation and it proved "counterproductive". Feeling unappreciated because you worry he's neglecting a basic factor in childcare? It's about her not him. I know some people are baffled at the idea of pet owners talking to their animals but how else does a human learn to communicate. She's 11 months not 11 weeks.

Rather alarming if his response is to carry on ie do the opposite of what you asked. Is he always like that?

I think it is very serious tbh. He isn't even indulging in basic communication with a child. What sort of person is he that he can't talk to his own baby. I presume he talks to other people? What does it say about him? He can't be bothered to talk to her as she is small and unable to say anything, and entirely dependent on him to take the lead in communication. Would he treat an adult like this?

A swift kick in the pants is what he needs. He if is not doing it deliberately to annoy you, then I think it's a combination of abuse and neglect.

What an arse