Some questions about baby-wearing and 'clingy' babies.

[Cookethenook]

I seem to have accidentally fallen into a kind of attachment parenting situation with our 1 month old. The co-sleeping is stopping TONIGHT as it scares the shit out of me, but i'm happy to keep up the baby-wearing and feeding on demand (mainly because i want an easy life and the LO hates any situation where he's not being held by someone!).

I just have a few questions, mainly regarding baby-wearing. We have a fantastic Kari-me sling- it's so comfy and LO is happy to be in it for hours.

How long is too long for them to be in there? He's typically in it from about 9.30 to 12.30, then again from about 4.30 to 7.30. I want to start taking him in it to do the school run as he hates being in the buggy, screams the whole time and gets himself in a real state, but i'm concerned that it will just be too long for him to be in that same position for (school run is an hour an a half in the morning and afternoon).

I was also wondering if it's ok for him to nap in there or should i take him out to get used to napping elsewhere?

I really don't want to get into a situation where he's very clingy, so i'm wondering if there is a point where i should stop using the sling and really start to get him used to the buggy/sitting 'alone' in his bouncy chair/on a play mat? Is there a good way to do this with the buggy? A pram really is so much easier to do the school-run with as DS1 has a hell of a lot of school stuff to carry. At the moment, the only way he'll lie in it is if he's on his side with a cosy blanket wedging him in. As you can imagine, this is a bit of a nightmare when it comes to strapping him in and even that way, the longest he's been calm for is about 10 minutes.

Sorry it's a bit long- DS1 was a very easy going baby, so i really have no idea how to deal with this little limpet!

I've posted in Chat too, as i wasn't sure where to put this.

Thanks in advance!

Have you considered a co-sleeping cot? I hired one from the NCT and it has been brilliant - I got it after finding myself co-sleeping too.

Can't help with how long is ok to be in a sling, could you contact the manufacturers as it is probably different for different types of slings?

With leaving him on his mat, I'd just start trying it for short periods of time. I found that my baby that was reluctant to sit in her chair was much happier when it was playing music so you could try that? It works for the car seat too, if I put nursery songs on loud, she stops crying.

If you have a nice snuggly sling that doesn't dangle them by their crotch then I think I'm right in saying they can be in it for any length of time and napping in it is fine.

DD spent most of the first 5 months of her life in my stretchy wrap sling. It was the only way to get her to sleep! Around 4 months I started putting her back in the buggy for short trips and by 5mo she was sleeping for short stretches in it. Now she takes all of her naps in the buggy - still haven't managed the cot during the day at 1yo, but that works for us!

I not sure but anecdotally any friend I know who have baby worn initially seem to have it easier but then it bites them in the bum a bit because they can't get them to settle in the cot and have to carry them in a sling to get them to sleep and stop them being super grumpy. This is only from friends experience though and I'm sure others will have found it different.

When baby is so small I really doubt that it matters but when they start to wake up and realise what's going on (3 months ish?) it may be worth transitioning to naps in cots as well as in sling.

If baby is clingy, has he been checked for tongue tie? Just asking as my DS was very clingy and it was tt.

Co sleeping is fine too as long as you follow the guidelines.

I sort of fell into attachment parenting too and mine are both very secure and happy children. I'd stick with it if its working for you. You might find Banycalming by Caroline Deacon reassuring. Lots of useful information and it helps you find your own routine.

If he is in the sling for that long is he feeding on the go? I never did manage that one

Don't be scared of co sleeping, just read up on how to do it safely. Btw the bma study on co sleeping had major flaws as it didn't differentiate planned safe co sleeping and unplanned co sleeping. So if that's the cause of your worries on Co sleeping please don't worry!

You can use a safe sling as long as you like, and as your baby gets older he won't want to be in it as long.

I don't believe you can make a child clingy and you definitely can't encourage independence by forcing them before they're ready. It's normal for babies to not want to be apart from you - some are just more anxious than others! Carry him as long as you like - with a kari me they are in an ergonomic position which is safe and at 1 month you'll have to take him out once every 2 hours or so to feed and/or change him anyway so it's fine.