Baby and toddler combo - does anyone else feel......

[ladypop]

Knackered, overwhelmed, unatractive, constantly on demand....!? I love them both dearly but on the days when it is just me and them (a few days a week) I just feel like it is a battle to get through the day, even if toddler is well behaved and baby not too demanding. Am I normal?

Just wanted a moan really after a stressful day yesterday!

Of course you're normal - it's HARD work!

How old are your children? Mine are 3 and 1 (24 months apart) and it's very busy, but easier than the early months with number 2. There's just no respite is there?, especially if baby is keeping you up all night...

Do they sleep okay? Do you have support in the evenings / weekends? A few months ago I felt really rubbish - just a build up of lots of little things (little one teething, big one regressing with toilet training, selling our house, night shifts, everyone having a permanent cold...) I just felt grotty and exhausted and fed-up and really run down. It got better, of course, and I managed to wangle a few hours off here and there to get my hair done, and get bits of time to myself. It's amazing how restorative these snippets of time can be when you're so tired out.

Thanks Owzat. They are 10 wks and 3.5yrs so I know it's still early days. I do have lots of support and DH is great, although works shifts so sometimes not ideal. I think your right, lots of little things seem to build up and tip me over the edge to needing a good cry.
I just feel bad for longing for my eldests nursery days sometimes! 1 is easy 2 is tough!

10 weeks!? That is early days! It will get a lot better

Don't forget it's all still a big shock for your eldest. Things do settle down in time. Great that you've got support from DH. My DH is really good too - if I tell him I'm getting run down he tries to make extra time to allow me to do a bit less. I lean on him quite a bit actually, which was not something I was used to before children.

You'll be in for some lovely moments too as they get a bit bigger - it brings a whole new dimension having two little ones ganging up on you interacting with each other

Hang in there!

Urgh, yes, I remember this.

22 months with mine and the oldest wasn't in childcare til I sent her 2 afternoons a week to pre school when the baby was 9 months.

It was bloody hard.

My life is divine now, by comparison (they turn 3 and 5 this summer).

It gets better, I promise!

(wine helps )

22 months between mine that should have read!

There are 19 months between mine, DD just turned 2 and DS 5 months - its hard. I feel crap. What i would give for just one nights uninterrupted sleep.....they are good kids aswell.
I went back to work 2 days a week when DS was 7 weeks old for a rest and a bit of sanity
I feel like a rubbish, shouty mom and cant wait for 7pm.

26 month gap here. Youngest is now 18 months and it's so so much easier. Oh my god the baby days were so hard. It was the lack of sleep which nearly did me in!

Yes me too! All was going well with DS1 (2.10) and DS2 (14 weeks) until we started potty training DS1 this week.

His behaviour has taken a dramatic turn for the worse and tonight I have basically wept to DH about today. DS1 is just being so horrible. He has been tantrumming all day and even hit me, which he would never usually do. The only person DS1 likes, ironically, is his baby brother, who he thinks is "lovely and funny" and who he is always kind to. (Hope that lasts....)

Oh, the baby days are no trouble with DS2 so far...he seems like a breeze compared to his elder brother!

Can I join in? Argumentative threenager with dramatic mood swings and intrepid bookshelf scaling one year old making me a fat tired mess! Neither of them asleep yet, still bf so can't really use wine to help and just ate a whole tub of ice cream while reading French Women Don't Get Fat. I'm useless!

In the same boat here with 10 week old and 3.5 year old. I find bedtime really hard at it coincides with baby's 'witching hour' so I have to juggle constantly feeding her with reading story, brushing teeth etc. DH has been working away this week and I feel like I'm under siege!

I feel your pain. Mine are 4.5, just turned 3 and 4 months. I also look after my niece whose 1, 3 days a week. Luckily, she's a lovely little girl and as these things go very easy to have (she seems to sleep alot!) And my youngest is a much easier baby then the other 2 where, but oh my gosh the eldest 2 bickering!! Its driving me mad they can argue about anything nothing all day long!

Today DS1 held a long argument with his shoes about who owned his socks.

"No, naughty shoes! They're my socks! You get off them - you can't have them. They're my socks..."

...and so on. I gave up trying to put him on the potty and made silly faces at DS2 because I was scared to get involved.

totally normaol, 6mo and 2.10yo here. Love them both dearly but some days it just feels so bloody relentless.

never feel like I get a break or a chance to just switch off and not sodding think for 5 minutes. tea/bath/bed routine is just depressing - I know that every night I have to do tea at a certain time, get DD into bed by a certain time etc. etc. or the night goes to pot. Not even as if it then stops as she is still an awful sleeper so haven't had a straight night through since she was born.

Sorry to highjack your post, ill so feeling a little sorry for myself, most days I can cope much better.

You are still in very early days so it will get easier for you.

I have a 23 mo and a 4mo and am doing most of it on my own as DH not often home for bedtime - and he's out most of today, too!
I feel all those things you listed at the start of your op, but not all the time :)
I love DS's day at nursery, and I love his long naps!
From about 10am I'm on countdown to bedtime some days!

But we've made it this far, so I must be doing something right, right?

It is bloody hard, but really it is the best job in the world. The toddler-hugs are awesome, and the interaction between the two of them is utterly delightful.

This too shall pass...

Mine are 7 months, 3.5 and 5.5 years. Baby is teething therefore permenantly attached to boob. From listening, the older 2 have turned my kitchen into a woodlice sanctuary. I really wish I was joking. There are 5 woodlice with names living in a cardboard box. OH is playing cricket. I'm a fat slobby mess.

Normal.
15 months and 3.5 here and I am exhausted......been stuck at home two of three weeks with various viruses.....the house looks a tip most days....even though I do domestic work throughout the day.
Today I persuaded my dh who is amazing with the kids that whati needed was for him to take both kids outif the house and leave me home to rest. This never happens and I can tell you it feels amazing to be lying on the bed with a magnum in my mouth ....ice cream not the gun that is.

I was in a fould mood last night as it was so hot and I could not get the baby to sleep....I was totally irrational and grumpy but this is what exhaustion does to you.
But I am taking a leaf out of my husband,s book. When he looks after the kids he does not try to do anything else.....I tried it yesterday. Put them in the paddle pool, sat on a sun lounger witha coffee and just delighted in their delight. It was lovely and I am going to try to do that more. Sod the housework as it still looks a mess even when I work and just grasp the fun when it is there. I think it is the doing the childcare in the home where all the other jobs are staring at you that is so wearing. We have more fun when we go to other people,s houses to be honest.
It is hard work.
Unless you are doing it, you don,t really appreciate how hard...remember how we all wee ith our own mothers......mine was always tired.
Just take a breath and try and have some time away...I am on a girls night out tonight and I will feel so much better in the morning from getting out. Carve time out without your great kids.

Oh, definitely put the housework to the bottom of the priority list!

SONG FOR A FIFTH CHILD
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth, Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She?s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I?ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping?s not done and there?s nothing for stew And out in the yard there?s a hullabaloo
But I?m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren?t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow, For children grow up, as I?ve learned to my sorrow. So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep. I?m rocking my baby and babies don?t keep.