DD refusing to go to swimming lesson WWYD?

[nellyjelly]

DD been having lessons and is a good swimmer. They have moved her to a more challenging class which means she is now with people she doesn't know and is the least able swimmer now instead of the best.

She has tried this new class once and now refuses to go. Had a massive tantrum weeping and wailing. Found it too hard and doesn't know anyone she says. Class is tomorrow and I dread the confrontation. We have just paid for the next 10 lessons and won't get it back if we cancel. Also feel she should broaden her horizons a bit more and also give things another try.

Any strategies od soukd Injust accept defeat? She is just 8.

8 is still small enough to be told to be quiet and get on with it.

DD2 practiced occasional tantrums when things didn't please her from 6-10.

DD1 and I did a lot of shrugging our shoulders and ignoring her and telling DH to ignore her too.

Seriously, being a bit tired after school and not wanting to be bothered is a common grump at that age. If you listen and stop things you just get more grump they are bored.

Thanks. Don't want to be pushy but she is good at this and until this change loved swimming!

unless she wants to - no need to change group
I bet swim school needed place in her old class

I would move her back where she was feeling comfortable until she asks to move her up

Typ. Should read....should I just accept defeat.

Her old place is filled. Also she had really outgrown the other class. So is we pack it in it means no swimming at all.

Bribes?

Stickers for trying hard with a good attitude and if she gets them thru the ten lessons then a treat at the end?

Emphasise the fact she can't stay in the baby class now?

Try to make her see it's a good thing, she was the best in that group, so they've promoted her, because they can see what a good swimmer she is etc etc.

I'd try at least one more lesson.

Also, point out that (if it's the same set up as the lessons dd has) as the best in the previous group she spent a lot of time not swimming while the not-so-good ones did their turn up and down the pool. (this drove me mad in dd's other group- the teacher would send dd off first, then dd languished at the top of the pool for 15 minutes of the half hour while the others splishsploshed their way up.)

Can you get her to do 3 weeks and then re assess then? That might be enough time for her to get to know people and feel comfortable

IMO the issue with giving in on this is where does it end. What if the next year of school is a challenge and she doesn't like it?

I know she is only 8 so its tricky but she should give it a try.

If she still insists it would be ultimatum time, this group or no swimming.

No way should she be allowed to go back down a level. I doubt they'd allow it anyway.

I had something similar with dd3 at that age, girls do like to be in a comfort zone where friends are concerned, and every single term either she was moved or her friends were, she never seemed to be in the 'block' that was kept together.
My main requirement from swimming lessons was that she was competent enough to get herself out of danger if needed.
Like you i had paid for the term and i made her complete the course with the promise that she could give up at the end if she still felt the same, she gave up

Thanks great advice. I am on the same wavelength as you all I think. Was checking I wasn't being mean by not letting her give up. The bribes/ rewards for completing the course are a good idea.

Thanks. Preparing myself now for another showdown tonight!

Sorry to be the other side of this tale but the same thing happened to me. I was moved up from fun and skills bassed lessons to a racing club. I was build for distance rather than speed and HATED it. Put me off swimming clubs forever. (Dd and Dn are very impressed at my ability to swim underwater and float though so some good came of it)

Same scenario in our house, with an 8 year old DD. However, after being cajoled into going with lots of tears (I feel your pain) she really enjoyed the lesson. With my DD, it's the fact that she needs to learn how to swim(and doesn't feel confident), so there isn't an option of not going.

I would keep her going until the end of the paid lessons, and if she still hates it then let her give up for a while, and she may want to go back to it later.

Thanks both. Will see how we get on tonight!