Don't know what to do about mil

[Joanne279]

Hello ladies,

Posted several months back about mil how hates the very ground I walk on because I would not let my baby stay overnight with her at 6 weeks old.

We've both had a go at each other. I've apologised. She hasn't. Not bothered just Painting the picture.

She banned me from her house so whilst not trying to stop her seeing our 3 kids (dp dad to 1 step dad to 2) we said shed have to come to our house as it wasn't fair for the kids to have to ask why I was excluded.

Anyway, this sorry mess has gone on for 5 months :( Sunday just gone, dps dad stepped it and told her to sort her stubbornness out as he wasn't see the kids as a result of her. She agreed to come to the house to see them. At last. Like to add, I'd go to hers, but I'm banned!

So, looking forward to normality resuming, the doorbell goes half hour ago. She dropped off the kids toys calling me a evil witch and cuckoo!

Dp at work and don't know what to do. Thought about texting his dad but unsure.

Advice welcome.

X

Is she still at your house? If she can't be civil I would politely ask her to leave OP. And maybe try and arrange the next visit for a time your dp will be at home - you shouldn't have to deal with this!

Thd visit wasn't arranged. She's just turned up. Clearly furious at being told by her husband to sort herself out :(

Thought it was on its was to being fixed. Clearly wrong :(

X

Tell your FIL he is welcome to come on his own.

Otherwise, there is nothing you can do.

After 12 years of shit like this off my mil, 3 years ago she booked a holiday cottage, invited dp and the boys, then said there was no room for me.

Now I wouldn't have wanted to go anyway, but dp didn't realise at the time that this wasn't the point. He said it sounded nice to go away with his parents and our children, and when he said 'I'll just check with Flibberty' she said 'there's no room for flibberty'.

Since then if she comes to our house I go out. DP can take the kids up to stay with them (3 hours drive) for a few nights at half term etc but I don't go.

Its like she went that step too far with that holiday cottage and even bil and sil told her she was out of order. Since then she has tried to be my friend, sends me little things she finds relating to an interest I have but I just ignore it all.

In a way I'm glad it was over something 'big' like this that she was shown in her true colours to bil, fil and sil regarding me. DP backs me all the way and even jokes when another of her 'bezzie mates' parcels arrives in the post.

I am just sorry I wasted 12 years worrying about how she was with me. The last 3 years have been much better now that I just accept that she is dps mother, my children's grandmother but NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. She is just bloody lucky that I don't come in the way of her relationship with her son and grandchildren.

Oh and fil is welcome to visit, but sadly she controls him in the way she'd like to control DP and fil is not allowed to come on his own.

Thank you ladies. Any other advice welcome x

flipping heck she sounds bonkers.
Could you arrange to get together somewhere neutral (without kids) and talk it through? maybe ask BIL or SIL to mediate? just open the discussion saying you aren't happy with things as they are and would like the children to have a reasonable relationship with GP but obv that's not going to happen if you can't be civil about each other.
say that everything past is done and dusted (she is clearly never going to appologise) and start afresh. but also set down some ground rules of what is acceptable (for both of you).
so you will let her.. have half a day a month with GC on her own (EEKK) but she will not bad mouth you to them?

You may need to be the super adult in this case as she sounds a bit of a child.
k