HELP - Crying baby - we're reaching the end of our teather. Need some help.

[Wills]

Wouldn't mind but he's our third!. ds1 was born 10 days ago and has steadily increased his crying sessions each day. I've been breast feeding him so far but am fighting a loosing battle with bf thrush. I had bf thrush for 10 months with dd2 and since my milk supply never completely dried up I was suspicious that it would be a problem and have therefore been on fluconazole + daktarin gel and creams since he was less than 24 hours. Given how much pain I'm in and how the blasted thrush seems to have increased even the m/ws have suggested I move to the bottle. So with an incredibly heavy heart he had his first bottle of formula last night. He's spent most of today crying!!!!! If he hears my voice he goes from being contented to demanding to being picked up by me which would be fine if it ended there but he wants my nipple and nothing else. He very distinctly finishes a feed and then will be playful for a good 10 minutes, its when he gets tired or when he needs his nappy changed. He gets upset and then wont settle unless via breast. Given how painful those areas are I'm reluctant to use that as a form of soothing him - also given that the thrush is not clearing and that I'm facing moving across to formula its not really a long term solution. Don't say dummy - too many memories of desperately spending 6 months holding the damn thing into dd1's mouth as she would wake up EVERY time it dropped out - again I don't see how that can be a long term solution.

So why's he crying. Could it be the thrush (its now all the way through his poor gut (he's got sores on his bottom - a classic sign of thrush)). Is he a "crying baby"? Has he got colic? Is he simply only now starting to find this world difficult?

Am very very tearful, very tired, am missing spending time with my two girls and would like some nice sensible advice pleeease. That or soothing words.

Am about to go on a 2 hour drive so will be off line - at least he'll sleep through that (well so far he has anyway).

Some of the girls on my postnatal thread who had very crying babies swear by the chiropracter - no idea what they do but Flame and iirc Soupdragon used one.

Wills, I haven't read every post here, but is there any chance that the baby is picking up on your stress and that is making him cry? I know my babies reacted badly if I was stressed at all, and you do sound stressed when you mention how much you are dreading being alone with the children on Monday.

Do you mean Colief WCL? - You can get it on prescription.

Cranial osteopathy may help? I don't have first-hand experience but it worked for friends. Their little boy had a traumatic birth and was very unsettled and screamed constantly.
After a couple of cranial osteopathy sessions he was "a different child" (to use his mums words).
Look for an osteopath that specialises in babies though.

Soapbox has made a good point. Other things to investigate to see if reflux is a possibility is:

Does he spit up? If so does it smell acidic? If he doesn't spit up, does his burps smell acidic? If he is worse when lying down, raise his cot/mose basket by using books so that it is at a 30 degree angle. Does he arch is back when crying and even draw his legs up? Both of mine had/have silent reflux which is managed by positioning (keep them up right for at least 30mins after feeds), raised cots, dummy (saliva soothes the burning) and rantitidine. Also, I found that they both wanted to suckle/feed more because it cooled the burning down and breastmilk is a natural anti-acid. DS was particularly keen on this and at the time I didn't realise he had reflux so I would feed him and it would make it worse.

What formula are you using? Mine are also cow's milk protein intolerant and got tummy ache and gas from formula. They would both cry in obivous pain about 2hrs after having a formula feed. Cow&Gate Omneo Comfort is partially broken down so that it is easier for intolerant babies to digest, works for some but not others.

Infacol will only help if your ds is swallowing air which is causing him to cry. It makes the small air bubbles that are swallowed bigger and therefore easier to burp up.

Colief will only help if your ds is lactose intolerance. It breaks down the lactose in milk so that it easier for intolerant infants to digest.

Think I will shut up now.

Oh brilliant thanks ladies. Haven't typed that he was struggling to settle himself I've now changed my mind yet again. DH was desperately trying to cope upstairs with ds and I went up and transfered him to my chest whilst lying down (so we were lying tummy to tummy) and patting his back. All was well for a couple of minutes he drifted off - then he'd wake up squirm around, cry, fart/burp, resettle. This went on for a good 20 minutes before he started to scream and scream again. At this point I put him onto his back and gave him a finger (v. v. clean) to suck and that settled him into a deeper sleep. he's now been asleep for 20 minutes.

So does this sound like reflux or lactose intolerance? Everything I've been reading about Colic doesn't say it will happen all day. This has been gradually getting worse and worse each day. Today its been pretty much full on since 11.00am this morning. Having had a screaming session for 3 hours (minus the time on my breast) he fell asleep for 4 hours then started again (roughly 6.00pm) and he's been going ever since and has just gone to sleep.

To provide more info I have breast feeding thrush and 3 days ago started to introduce 1 bottle of aptamil a day. Dh normally does this at night and no he hasn't (so far) cried afterwards which presumably rules out a reaction to that???

Hoping that you're all gonna come back and carry on helping me analyse this - am very grateful.

Sorry instead of reading "Haven't" please read Having

Sorry - also. Have been using Infacol for about 4 days (ish).

and no cuddling doesn't help

Last bit. Am desperately wanting to comfort him and would gladly put him in a sling if being near me is what he wants. My awful dilema is that come Monday my two and six year olds will also have needs to be met by me and I just don't know how to divide myself up. I wish I knew how to give him some comfort.

well if its milk intolerance colief would help, so you could try that. It won't cure the problem but if it helped you could ask your gp if you could have pepti junior on prescription. Goats milk formula might be easier to digest than aptamil. Adding probiotics to your diet might help as you're still breastfeeding.

Hi again

There is a lot of confusion with milk intolerance. There is lactose intolerance and cow's milk protein intolerance. Have a read through the page I have sent you because it will explain the difference between the two and offer some suggestions on sorting it out. As he is so young I would have a chat with your GP, if he can't help, and ask to be referred to a paed.

My ds and dd were wrongly diagonised as lactose intolerant which lead to me giving up breastfeeding as breastmilk is mainly made up of lactose. Colief will only help if our ds is intolerant to the lactose in the formula/breastmilk. Also, there are lactose free milks on the market, SMA do on (SMA LF) which you can get in most supermarkets and chemists.

Goats milk formula is not always advisable because some infants can be intolerant to it too. There are other concerns with goat's milk that my paed told me about but I can't remember what they are was.

My ds is was 21mnths old when dd was born and I know how heartbreaking it is to not be able to meet all there needs and feeling like you are torn between the 2 (in your case 3). I think it is important that you meet your dds needs first and although I don't like to leave babies crying sometimes it is the only way. Just for a short period. It is another reason I gave dd a dummy it would quiten her down for a little bit. You can alway wean him off it in a few weeks.

Let me know if you want anymore information. I have done loads of research on food intolerances.

www.disa.com.au/Food%20Intolerant%20and%20Allergic%20Baby.htm

CADS that's brill. I'm not sure what is happening here. ds has had a good night i.e. slept from 23.00 to 03.00 - had a bottle feed from dh and then slept until 07.00 - no crying no pain no probs.

Will have a look at the link in a mo. Am off to a friends' daughter's 4th birthday party for the day so will be back later - but many thanks

I would highly recommend taking him to see a chiropractor regardless of whether he does turn out to have any of the other issues. They can settle any kinks that developed during pregnancy/birth. If he has reflux and a slightly misaligned back or something, then he will be so miserable. :( People are probably thinking I'm on commision with chiropractors now, but it helped DD who was just plain miserable from day one, and with DS - I booked him in from 7 days old, and the feeding problems I was having were fixed, and we didn't get any colic. Could have been coincidence, but just seeing how much more comfortable he looked after we went, it was amazing.

My next recommendation would be a sling - costs about £50 but I have found the hugabub to be worth its weight in gold - I can strap him in very tightly, and get on with the caring of a very demanding 3 yr old.

With dummies... if you think you might be able to hold out (and cope with a while with your finger in his mouth) - DS finally worked out his hands at 12 weeks, and will now suck his thumb. But he has been an easy baby, so it hasn't been too much of an issue to just shove a finger in his mouth every so often.

I have been through a crying baby (and was very very worried about the possibility that I might have to cope with a second one the same). I know that there is all the super dooper stress research, but a mother on the edge is more likely to damage a child (imo) than crying. If its too much - walk away, make sure he's safe, and let him cry. Just long enough to calm you (slightly).

Oh, I found a small glass of wine in the evening helped a lot with DD too (me, not her )

maybe you could also try 'windypops' and/or colief, also nursery rhymes and walking/dancing until settled, seems to help with my dd