Third baby.....

[Claryrocks]

Know this has been done before but I'm so broody! Got 5 year old and 2 year old. DH worried about upsetting balance of our two children now as they're so close and also it's all just getting easy. I have the same concerns (not to mention money, sharing time etc etc) but I look at my two now playing and I see a third. I grew up wishing I was one of three (have one younger brother) and always wanted 3. Now we're going to need to make a decision I'm struck with indecision.

Can anyone tell me I'm either mad or to go for it?!

I am exactly the same! I have decided to let it go now though, because I could see it causing problems in our otherwise happy relationship. My children are the same age, and the broodiness just hit me like a train suddenly. I don't know why really. I wanted a large family before I had children, then the reality hit once DC1 was born and I had to be persuaded to have DC2.
My problem was that every time we had a discussion, my DH kept coming up with stupid or petty reasons not to have another one, which I read as 'well, he may change his mind' and it was driving me mental living in limbo, so I decided to ask him if no meant never and he just said he didn't want any more children and he felt 3 was too many. I don't feel the same but I think I will just have to live with it. I keep telling myself that there is no compromise when it comes to this, and the one who says no should really be the one who 'wins' the argument, because at least there is not a child being brought up by a parent who doesn't want it. I should be grateful- at least I have 2 children, It would be awful to be in this situation with no children.

Sorry, there is a ridiculously long sentence in there!

My dh happy to stop at 2 but he's worried I would regret stopping at 2 and said he realises he wouldn't regret another baby. It's hard because it makes sense to stop and you are so blessed having two children is it pushing your luck having 3. My problem is I feel so strongly that there is this child someone that belongs with us which sounds ridiculous I know. I worry that the arguments for sticking with two make complete sense now but will they in 10 years when it's too late?

Ours are 3yo and 8 months. It makes no sense to have a third- in terms of money, space and sanity!- but we know 100% that we want another one. I knew virtually the minute I gave birth to dc2, it was a feeling of 'I'm not done'.

This is a total heart-over-head decision mind you, and if either one of us was not fully on board I think we wouldn't risk the upheaval of a third.

Yes, I think my DH really can't envisage any good things about having three. I don't think the upheaval of having three is a long term problem, but like you, when they don't matter anymore, it will be too late. I know lots of women have babies well into their 40's, but I'm not sure I will be in the same place if my DH changed his mind when I'm 42+.

3 is ruddy hard work and though (at 6, 8 & 10) it's physically getting easier, mentally it gets harder every day. Splitting myself 3 ways is tough.

I'm completely in love with DC3 and would never be without them all but I do often think - why on earth didn't we stop at 2?

The broodiness never goes away either - I see new babies and go gooey - I think the main difference is that I know that the cute thing turns into a loud, shouty, door slammy pre-teen!

Also have to book holidays in September so that you can find somewhere that sleeps 5, have a massive car that's never big enough and have continual arguments about who has to sit in the middle, have a massive mortgage to get the extra bedroom (I know they can share but DH shared and it seems to have scarred him for life!), read every chip and biff book three times! Never have time alone when DC are playing at other people's houses - they never get invited anywhere at the same time and who in their right mind ever asks all 3 dc to come and play/sleepover at once. Swimming lessons, teaching to ride bikes, potty training and weaning times 3 - yuck! And the washing..........

when things are good - they are very good. I guess that's why there are people with more than 3 (nutters!)

• Three is an odd number - there's always a middle one, an odd one out;
• As the poster above says, no-one invites all three to play/stay at the same time. Not many GPs are up for three at the same time;
• Most tables in restaurants, rooms in hotels, holidays, family tickets assume two parents and two DC;
• the additional cost of doing anything when you've got to buy five airline tickets, five park entries, five lunches, etc;
• Juggling the school/nursery drop-off and pick-up for three DC all at different ages and stages;
• you'll probably need a bigger house and bigger car;
• the thought of supervising three lots of homework is enough to make me want to lie down in a darkened room;
• ditto get three up and out of the house by 8.10am all having had breakfast, got dressed and having all the right kit for the day - snacks, book bags, lunches, PE kit, football kit, etc.

Shall I go on? Can you tell we've decided to stick at two?

Oh, and my personal nightmare - what is number three is twins!

Yup all the above BUT wouldn't change it for the world LOL

My recommendation is not to rush with no 3 though. We have 3.5yr age gap between no 2 and 3 and it's been good .

They are 14/17/19 now. We are really struggling wityh travellodge type places for overnight says though when they wont put 3 " adults" in 1 room!

lol at travelodge - we've just come back from a two nighter travelodge (all 5 in one room was not fun!!). We snuck dc3 in as only 2 adults and 2 children per room. One the way in DC3 said very loudly 'look no-one is here I could have just come in with everyone else' - just as receptionist sat up from getting something out of her drawer! We just ran!

We had this discussion for a whole year. We had a list of cons as long as your arm, in the 'pro' column there was only item 'want a baby'. Needless to say, 'want a baby' won. Just go for it!

I am in the same position - it is all I think about every waking hour of the day / night when up with both dc!

I dont want a big age gap ( ds1 is 31 months and ds2 is 16 months and neither sleep through every night! ) so its now or never to start trying and if it didnt happen within 2 or 3 months I would leave it - I am also rather scared of having a 3rd section but as catsandtheirpizza said its not a logical decision for most of us as thats a no brainer - of course its easier to stay at 2 . My DH was the 3rd and I always think if his parents hadnt decided to have one more then I wouldnt have him..... but as an only child I also feel strongly I want my kids to have more than 1 sibling.

The thought of having to get 3 kids to eat dinner / bath and bed / sleep through the night makes me want to run away - but i do not feel our family is complete with just 2..... :S

I knew after DS2 I wasn't done, I really really wanted a third - even though for the whole time we'd spoken about having children we'd always planned to have two, knew we didn't want a big family etc. When DS2 was 6 we discussed it and agreed that we wouldn't have any more, it didn't make sense financially and DH really didn't want to have a third. It took me quite a long time to come to terms with it, I was coming to terms with it and enjoying the fact my boys were both at school etc when mother nature threw us a curve ball and I ended up getting pregnant when DS2 was 8. It was a shock but I have to say I have loved having DS3 so much and almost as soon as he was born I knew I was done, the thought of doing it all again now fills me with horror! He's now 6 and having the big gaps makes it hard to find family days out (DS1 is 19) that suit everyone but we muddle through.

I have 5 DC in total and I found the jump from 2 - 3 to be the hardest one.