Getting a 2 year old to sleep.

[didireallysaythat]

This has been going on for 3 months and is getting tedious...

He's at nursery from 9-6 and can be coerced into a nap (2 hours!) Although it takes a lot of patting and stroking. The nursery has reduced this to one hour at our request and tomorrow we'll ask for no nap (he's 30 months). Supper around 7pm, happy enough to go up to bed afterwards (likes books with a bottle of milk) but once we've done the 4+ book (20 mins) he's ready to go back downstairs and play. So the fidgeting, fussing, faffing starts ending with him asleep by around 10pm. This is every night. The 7 year old is always asleep first.

I'm not expecting a major solution but any ideas would be gratefully received.

My mantra is "it's just a phase" which is fine but I want our lives back.

Major solution = magic solution...

Going on the op I would say 4 stories is too much. He might be a bit over stimulated. I am saying this because I'd I let my 3 year old play too long in the bath it gives her second wind and she's bouncing around again. I have only just gone up to 2 stories with dd1 now she's a bit older (nearly 4) because I have found her bedtime routine only works if I work through it quite swiftly - I can't interrupt the winding down. Hope that made sense.

Matilda that's what I do after lights out with dd1. We have an agreement that I will stay with her while she drops off bit she's not allowed to talk to me or mess about. Sounds harsh but she needs help switching off sometimes

Oh I second the mn thing in the evening but after 2.5 hours I find myself offering advice on all sorts if threads I'm not qualified to comment on.

I'll try limiting the books (one won't be long enough for the bottle). How do you persuade them to lie down ? He's up, he's down, he's flapped the sheet, turned the pillow and then he starts throwing teddy out, then tucking him in again... If I leave the room he just follows me ! And while I don't mind a bit of crying, the fists on the doors, screaming, stomping etc upsets his rather too sensitive brother who hates conflict.

I'm going to try dousing him in lavender oil....

Tonight we commenced a new phase of toddler sleep training to try and break some awful habits. DD needs me not just sat there but holding her tight and almost pinning her down before she will sleep. She also spends this time biting, licking and pinching which of course I tell her off for so the whole experience is just miserable for everyone. We decided to ditch the bottles at the same time as she is so reliant on them too. Tonight after 2 stories and a cuddle/kiss she was basically begging me for more cuddles whilst screaming and flinging herself about her room. It was so hard to just sit there and say "no, go to bed" but I can no longer handle an hour of dicking about after lights out and felt that a few nights of crying would .be worth it.. Eventually I persuaded her to cuddle her teddy instead whilst keeping me in view. Hopefully we can then work on the 4+ night wakings and the 5am start.

Superchick - good luck. I'm lying here while the human cartwheel spirals around the room having been told to lie down... He wants to sleep somewhere else.....

He's too old for a bottle

Why not switch to a beaker and less milk at bedtime. Then a shorter routine with one brief story. I found keep it short and dull worked well.

OK so we had 3 books but he felt short changed. I don't think he's particularly clinging onto the bottle so I have no issues with ditching it but he hasn't had milk from a cup (but this is a chicken and egg thing - if I only offer in a cup he'll only be able to have it from a cup. Some days he only has a couple of sips so I don't think the milk is the issue -HOWEVER I will try anything ). Left the room, he followed so now DH is in with him. We tried a walk after supper to knacker him out - maybe that's over stimulation too but he's engaged and asking questions...

The no nap at nursery idea didn't materialise today. Will try harder tomorrow ! Any tips for keeping two year old AWAKE in car over 30 main drive home ? Apparently shampoo in the eyes is frowned upon....

It's a age thing too. It will pass!

Quick update. No nap at nursery. Brief supper then played outside until 8. Bath... Well truth be told this us where the wheels started to come off. 40 mins later and complete melt down. We're talking YouTube meltdown. Somehow I talked him down, 2 books, a bottle and then a spoonful of magic water, metanium applied to wherever he wanted and after 5 mins of blanket faffing he passed out/fell asleep.

If we overlook the Tasmanian devil moment, asleep by 9 is a great result. Tomorrow I'll see if I can finesse things as I had to try the bathroom door closed during the melt down...

Its a bit trial and error isn't it? Possibly because toddlers are so erratic with their wants/needs/feelings and its impossible to reason with them when they are tired and upset.

Our second night of no bottle and no cuddling to sleep went much better. Much less screaming and a lot calmer so I'm sticking with it (the bottles have been binned now anyway). She still woke 5-6 times in the night but dozed til 6.30 in my bed which wasn't too bad.

Good luck with keeping it going!

8pm sounds very late if no nap? Mine would need bed at 6.30pm!

No nap again but fell asleep in the car on the way home. Tasmanian devil moment occurred after books tonight rather than before. Ended up wrapping him in towel to ride out the tantrum. Asleep by 9:10.

I'm happier with this (hey it's before 10) but DH isn't impressed

Can't really start earlier as I don't get home until 6pm and DH gets home with Tasmo around 6:15. Then I have to cook (although I like shreddies for supper...). Heading upstairs by 7pm is an aspirational goal...

I think we'll try the same for a couple of nights then try books downstairs before bed...

I would bring back the nap but keep it short. I am sure I've read somewhere that at around 2, toddler resist bedtime and it looks like you need to drop the nap but in reality it's hit a phase.
What about bedtime by 7?

And you have your dinner when he's asleep?

The bedtime when he's asleep is very appealing. I'm a little worried we (including the 7yr old) will end up eating at 10...

What is frustrating is that he show absolutely no sign of being tired. He wants to bounce, play, including going downstairs to play with cars and trains.

It's hard with the longer days - we herd our two into their room after bath time. It's got double blackout curtains - that with the lamp on makes it quite cosy and it feels like bedtime.