is it normal to feel so down after having a baby

[bowlingforsoup]

Hi

DD2 was born a few days ago. Since last night all i done is cry. I'm so upset about nothing in particular. She is beautiful and im really happy she is here.

Nobody has been to see me and ive had zero contact from friends. Family have been too busy (im guessing) and ive had one phone call in the past 4 days from my mum who I have always been really close to. It feels like nobody is really that bothered about how I'm doing.

Ex dp (we split up a couple of months ago due to him being a full time twat) has been staying the past few days to 'help' although he's been halfway to useless because he won't do anything for me. Hes spent the past few days whinging about how tired he is and how much money he has had to spend the past few days on nappies etc etc. I feel so guilty. I think the guilt is the hardest part to deal with. I've hardly slept and just feel so deflated.

DD1 (4yo) has been fantastic. Shes so good and has been a huge help getting the changing mat, nappies etc for me when I need them. She loves her little sister.

I can't remember feeling like this after she was born. I was living at my parents at that point and im wondering if that's why I'm so upset this time. I've actually nobody and when ex dp leaves tonight that's me completely alone for the rest of the week.

Will I start to feel more like myself again and is this normal?

Didn't want to read and run - I had this too despite having a strong support network. If you are anywhere near me I will come and visit with you? Help out and be there for support? In north Oxfordshire if that's any help xx

In any case - hand to hold. Maybe call your mum and tell her? Perhaps she thinks that you can cope because you already have a DD? Xx

^^ I'll second this. If you are any where near me just give me a shout and I'd be happy to help with anything, or just be a hand to hold. I felt like this after my ds too. Although I did have a great support network. It went on for about 2 weeks, maybe a little more. I would just sit and cry for ages and its horrid. I hope you are OK. Most people I know have been through the baby blues in the first few weeks. If you don't pick up in a couple of weeks I'd just niop along to the health visitor.....and congratulations on your new baby!
( by the way, your 4 yo sounds like a real sweetie )
Xx

Oh and I'm in Cornwall x

I remember a few days post birth being in floods of tears with all my kids. That's normal. Sounds like you'll be better without your moaning minnie of an ex, especially him moaning how bloody tired he is! Now, phone your mum, cry down the phone to her, do the same to friends. People may stay away as they don't want to get in your way. Don't be afraid to ask for help with stuff to do with the house and with your older daughter. I bet there are people itching to have a hold of the baby. Keep chatting to your midwife, and also to your HV when she takes over. x

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter!

You are probably feeling tired and worn out from the birth, plus trying to adjust to having a new born.

It's a long time since I had a new born. What helps is getting fresh air every day, and going to a mother and baby group. The weather forecast looks good - get out and about.

Congratulations! I agree with madlizzy, people stay away because they don't want to impose with a newborn. Text/ring a few. I got tearful after first couple of days but it didn't last very long (2 days?) Dont deal with it on your own if it lasts. Tell your mum you need help, maybe she thinks you have enough hands ATM.

You need to tell your mom, friends or whoever you feel closest to how you are feeling. The tearfulness is totally normal, but will feel much more bearable if you just have someone caring to chat to. It sounds like you could do with and really deserve more support - reach out for it and don't shut yourself away xxxx

Get in touch with your local NCT group to meet some mums in your area with a baby a few days old too. Good luck! Xx