Really appreciate advice about leaving my children

[Trebuchet]

I'm going away for 4 weeks in November. My ds's will be just turned 7 and 5. DH will be here looking after them, doing all school drop offs and 4 pick ups, Granny doing the other 1. But I have been mostly at home with them until now and I'm quite concerned about how they'll be and I want to try and make it as easy as possible for them. They're used to loads of affection and time with me. And although my dh is a great dad they get a different sort of experience with me, he's more matter of fact and brisk, they're used to telling me things and getting sympathy!!

I don't want to leave them but I haven't worked in ages and this is a great opportunity which should lead to other more local things in the future, so its a short term hard situation which will help us in the long term

I will get 1 day off a week so I could come back then but I'm wondering if this will make it harder for them?

Also I haven't told them this is happening yet as I didn't want them to worry about it for months. When do you think I should start preparing them?

I could really use some help. Thanks

It's going to be hard! Send them postcards and letters every day if you can, do they have an email account? Send them photos of where you will. I think that you should come back the one day a week four weeks is a long time without giving your mummy a hug. But they will be fine...

I agree to come back once a week (could be harder on you than them!) A month will seem forever for a 4 year old and they can feel confident that you really are coming back for good!

Sorry to contradict, but I find it really hard and disruptive when DH comes back for a night and goes away again.

It's really hard for the children to say goodbye again and again.

I'd say stay away but Skype a lot. Leave them cards and letters, small gifts to be open throughout the time. A calendar to cross the days off.

I'm leaving mine for two weeks in November and am dreading it. I'm already looking forward to coming back.

If I were you, I would come back for the one day a week. In that way you are breaking up the separation into weekly ones, and then you can say to your sons 'see you next Saturday' and it will not be such a long time for them to wait to see you. I do agree though that your DH may possibly have a harder time getting them settled, but overall from your sons' point of view it will make the time pass more easily for them.

I think if it were me I would start preparing them a week or so in advance. It's difficult because you don't want to spring it on them, but on the other hand, you don't want to burden them with worry for too long.

I would present your trip to them in a positive light - focus on the fun things they can do with their dad and granny while you are away, and that you will Skype them each evening to catch up on their day.

Also, have something to focus on for when you get back, like a trip somewhere which you know they would really like.

I don't think children of this age have much concept of the world of work, but you could explain the benefits for everyone of you going on this trip. Does your DH travel with work? If so, you can say it is like when daddy goes away. If he doesn't, that is trickier.

Good luck, hope that helps a little.

Thanks, great ideas regarding the letters and cards and calender. I don't have a way of skyping but I can call every night. I'm off to do panto so they'll be able to come up and see me in it after the 4 weeks which I think they will find exciting.

Can you do some overnights etc before this, so they get used to mummy away - mummy back?