How do you handle situations where children hurt or snatch from your child and the parent is there but doesn't react?

[AmyFarrahFowlerCooper]

I've just started going to a small toddler group and I really don't know how to handle this. The other day a child was literally climbing over dd to get to the kitchen she was playing with and the mum was sat on the chair next to me (both about a metre away from the children) and did nothing. I felt like I couldn't say anything to the other child because the mum was right there watching and hadnt said anything (so had obviously decided it was okay so me intervening could have insulted her) so I just moved dd to another set of toys. It annoyed me though because dd was quite happy playing there. But then about five mins later when the child came over again and trampled dd to snatch a toy, she did tell her off. And when it happened again with another bunch of toys, she did nothing. It was like she couldn't make her mind up and it was so awkward because there was no consistency so I couldn't intervene other than to move dd. I couldn't talk to the mum either because I have seen her get angry quickly and I can't cope with that!

How do you handle situations like this? Is there something better I could do next week?

I would just get down and involve them both with the game e.g with kitchen say 'let's make some dinner' and ask both DCs what they are going to make- then say 'well you need this' to one and 'you need that' to other and tell them you are looking forward to eating it!
Distraction is the answer and then you don't have to tell them off.

I'd go over to them both and ask them to play nicely together, take turns and no snatching off each other as it isn't nice.

Play with them for a bit and see if it improves. I have a friend who's ds is getting increasingly 'awkward' (I'm being kind) and she isn't seeing it as she's got a 5 week old. His behaviour towards other children can be really horrible. The boys are 5 btw but I tell the other boy and if mum asks me I tell her what he's done. I think its how you do it that matters.

I would prefer ds to be corrected by someone else than left to cause chaos!

Agree with cupcake, it's how you do it. Perfectly acceptable to want to say something, bit maybe speak to both children on their level, but loud enough for the other mom to hear and she may get the message that its not ok to ignore. I have been on the other end of this.....at the park my 3.5yr DS gently hit (I know that is a contradiction in terms, but it was more of a tap) to get another child out of the way a he wanted to use the slide first. Now, our son can be very physical and I have had plenty of practice at disciplining him front of others and on this occasion I said! "no thank you ..(insert my child's name) !!".. very sternly, which I deemed enough. Then he mom turned to me and said "aren't you going to get him to say sorry, he just hit him?" I was really embarrassed, especially a she continued to make an issue of it.
I am not saying that she was in the wrong, but it was how she did it that made it all really awkward and I felt like I was being told off when there is only so much I can do to influence my sons behaviour.

I would tell the child myself.

If the other parent doesn't want to tell their kid then fair enough, but that doesn't mean that I am not going to prevent MY child from getting trampled! so I'd move my child and/or tell the other child to be careful.

Let's be careful, let's be gentle, let's all play nicely, let's watch our fingers, etc etc.

I'd also act as a buffer. I had to do that a LOT to protect other people's kids from mine! I would get inbetween and be the one to take the poundings.

I'm happy to intervene - just do it in a nice way eg don't screech NO SNATCHING YOU BRAT, just gently take the toy back and say "my DC is playing with that one, shall we find you something else sweetie?"

Ooh yes! You can get away with saying much more if you stick a "sweetie pie" on the end