If another child bites yours, what would you like the parents to do?

[AncientCrone]

Genuine question. DS (nearly 2) is a biter (though improving). I apologise obviously and remove him but not sure what else to do. If someone bit one of my DC that would be enough for me. Is it?

just say sorry, nothing else to be done really. Its just a phase, he'll get over it dont worry.

I have a biter too, and he is always removed and told that it is wrong if I catch him doing it (although it is usually his brother that he bites, rather than someone else's child). Unless you are a helicopter parent who can step in every time (I have been bitten a number of times by getting my hand in the way just in time).

So as far as I am concerned, yes, it is.

Acknowledge it and say sorry. That's all you can do

My DS2 is 17 months and he's also biter. I tend have to follow him around and watch him like a hawk. If he does bite I pick him up, remove him from the situation and say no, then really apologise to the child and parents. Nothing else you can do. They'll grow out of it. By contrast, my DS1 was always the kid that got bitten when he was a toddler and as long as the parents acknowledged that their child had bitten him and said sorry, I was OK with them. All just a phase. x

The parent apologising, and making sure the child who bites doesn't get what they wanted (so I was annoyed the time my child was bitten, and the other child ended up with the toy which was being disputed about. I don't know who had it first, and wouldn't mind if it was removed entirely, but it didn't seem fair to my child that he was hurt and saw the biter get the toy if you see what I mean). I don't like it when parents get a biter to hug to say sorry, because I don't think a child who has been hurt really then wants a hug from a child they don't necessarily know, and who has just hurt them! I think the parental apology is the important thing, up to the parent whether or not to get a child to apologise (when my ds bit, I didn't use to do this because I wanted to remove him and speak to him, rather than let him remain in the situation). Generally if you've had a biter, you feel for the parent whose child has bitten, so I feel their pain! My ds first bit at a playgroup when dd was exactly 2 weeks old, it was the first time we'd made it out of the house without dh and I nearly cried! (And the other mother, once I had profusely apologised, continued to explain about the exact extent of the injury and exactly how painful it had been, and I really didn't know how I could say sorry in any other way.)

Thank you all, feeling better.

Well if my child bites someone I'd remove them, say 'No biting' in a very loud angry voice, and take them to a nearby corner or wall for time-out for about 1 min, while telling them that if they can't play nicely, they have to stand away from everybody else. I'd apologise to the parent and other child too.
IME trying to get a young toddler to feel sorry for the victim is a bit pointless and counter-productive.

I agree with phil - The one thing that I would really like the parent to do is to keep their child away from mine until the incident had been forgotten.

Whenever my dd is hurt at a toddler group she often freaks out if the child comes towards her again soon afterwards.

Agree with all of the above - apology, tell DS off, take him away from the bitten child and ensure he gives back any toy etc. he's taken off them.

And just to reassure you DS was a biter when he was 2yo - he bit every kid at the nursery and I was so mortified... He grew out of it. In his case as soon as he could talk properly he stopped biting. We're still friends with parents of kids who were at nursery with DS (he's 7yo now), so they clearly didn't hold a resentment!

If it were me I'd apologise to the other parent then instantly explain to my DC that biting isn't nice and remove them from the situation. Whilst I don't think that's much it is far better than laughing or denying your child would ever bite (both incidents I have witnessed at a playgroup before )

Just apologise & get dc to say sorry, that's all you really can do, it's a phase most children go through.