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Original poster

My husband doesnt like my son (he's stepson)

19 replies

Paula1980 · 23/06/2013 10:19

Hi, ive joined mumsnet to try and get advise from other mums regarding my situation. Ive been married for 5 years to my husband, we have a 4 year old daughter together. My son is 10 years old but is not my husbands. My husband is a great dad to our daughter and hes son (who he had in a previous relationship) but he just doest seem to like my son. He is a good boy, polite and well behaived (most of the time) but he has a dif tone when he shouts at my son to when he shouts at his kids. He seems so angry. My son is very slightly overweight, nothing to be concerned over, but hubby thinks its an issue. He wants my son to excersize each nite after school, if he doesnt then he gets the hump and causes such a bad atmosphere. He also wont allow him to play computer games if he doesnt excersize. He says he eats too fast. Says he lazy. But hubby says some awful things to me about my son. The other week i gave my son an icecream and when my son had gone out to play he rushed up to me, and shouted askin why i gave him the icecream? Hes overweight, hes a fat, lazy, c*t! Thats my son hes talking about! He them snatched the icecream my daughter had and kicked it across the floor. Thats just an insight into what i'd like to chat about. Please if anyone is going through similar things or if someone could just listen and advise me? Thank you

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 23/06/2013 10:21

How did he feel about your son before you married? If the same, why on earth did you marry him

StealthPolarBear · 23/06/2013 10:22

I'm sure you don't want to hear this but he sounds like a bully. And a prick.

Moxiegirl · 23/06/2013 10:22

Your poor little boy. Your 'hubby' is abusive Sad please look into getting some help, women's aid?

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Moxiegirl · 23/06/2013 10:26

And he is not a great dad to your daughter.

AnnieLobeseder · 23/06/2013 10:30

Sounds like a right royal prick to me

Your children are your first priority. You need to protect them from this.

Your DH doesn't have to love your son. He doesn't even have to like him. But what he does need to do is treat him with kindness and respect. This is his step-son, his wife's son. He shouldn't treat any child (or adult for that matter) with such anger and cruelty, let alone a member of his own immediate family.

Anyone who called my child a fat lazy cunt would be removed from my child's and my life immediately, even if they did happen to be my husband.

Greenoes · 23/06/2013 10:30

Offering a hand to hold - sorry you are going through this, I know exactly what living like this feels like. I hope you have the strength to support your son, he needs you.

TheCrackFox · 23/06/2013 10:41

You know this is only going to get worse, don't you?

Your "D"H needs to go and fast.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 23/06/2013 10:44

Oh god that's nasty :( no one should ever talk about a child like that. I think you know it's not acceptable and if you stay with him then how do you think your son will feel? You are allowing him to be treated like crap. Find what strength you need and ask him to leave.

blissfullytired · 23/06/2013 10:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnnieLobeseder · 23/06/2013 10:54

blissfullytired is spot-on: do you stand up for your son, loudly and where he can hear you supporting him? If you let your husband verbally abuse him and don't intervene, your poor son will be suffering major damage to his trust for you and his self-esteem.

TeaCuresEverything · 23/06/2013 12:18

The only thing I'll say is that if someone, and I mean dh, dm, friend, sibling, ANYONE ever called my ds a 'fat, lazy cunt' they would be gone from our lives faster than you can blink. Completely unacceptable.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 23/06/2013 12:21

You have to protect your son from being treated like this. He deserves to be treated lovingly.

He has no choice but to be in this situation. He's got no control over it.

crumblepie · 23/06/2013 13:49

your son comes first in all this , he is being bullied and it will affect his self esteem if not now ,when hes older , you would not let another kid treat your son like that at school so dont let it happen in his home where he should feel safe and happy .

WhiteBirdBlueSky · 23/06/2013 19:14

How upsetting. Your son sounds like a nice boy, and it's good that he has a mother who cares enough to sort this out. The fact that you have posted on here shows that you know this isn't right and I'm sure you will find a way through this.

Does your husband admit what he's doing? Does he realise it's wrong?

AnyFucker · 23/06/2013 19:16

Put your husband out

He is the cunt here

Why are you with a man that treats your son like that?

Shame on him, and shame on you too

MadameJosephine · 23/06/2013 19:23

How could you remain in a relationship with somebody who treats your child so badly? You are his mother, your job is to protect him, so please do your job and get rid of this bullying arsehole!

SummersHere · 23/06/2013 19:37

He sounds dangerous, the anger, verbal abuse, controlling behaviour. I can't even comprehend why any woman would allow another human being to treat their child like this. You're basically enabling the abuse of your son by staying with this man. I'd kick him out for the shouting alone. Sorry to be so blunt but if this continues your son will end up with no end of issues.
You owe it to him to leave now.

Chubfuddler · 23/06/2013 19:39

Why did you marry a man who doesn't like your child?

TallyGrenshall · 23/06/2013 19:51

My FIL called my then 2 y/o DS a cunt, and many other things, and also threatened to smack his arse in the space of one evening.

DS is now 4 and FIL hasn't seen him, or spoken to him since then. And he never will again.

You need to protect your son. DS doesn't remember that evening, but your son will remember how his Step-dad was utterly vile and abusive to him. YOU need to protect him now, and remove the abuse from his home. Easier said than done, but YOU are the only one that can do it

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