My baby girl hates cuddles :(

[MJP1]

My 18 week old hates cuddles she has never really liked them even as a newborn, the only time I get one is during the wee small hours when she feeds off me, in her defence she is wonderfully sociable and loves people but to be honest I'd love something anything back as sometimes I really wonder if she actually likes me.
Does cuddliness develop or do I just have to accept she would rather smile than be touched ?

My DD2 is exactly like this. Now, finally at 15 months we're getting kisses, and she's started giving short hugs. She still doesn't like being held too much as she's so active it stops her getting around, but of an evening before bed I get some lovely cuddles. They will come!

My DD1 was very outgoing and sociable as a baby but appeared to find cuddles boring and restrictive.

I wore DD2 like a large brooch for her first year, otoh, and she took little interest in anyone but me for months.

At 15, DD1 is extrovert and extremely energetic - she will bound up and crush you in a bear hug then she's away at high speed.

DD2, 13, sets her alarm early each morning so she has time to hop in to my bed for a cuddle.

They are both lovely.

Our ds is 3 years 1 month and has only just started to give and receive cuddles and hugs. He hasn't liked them before and it really made me worry. One sided kisses and cuddles just arent the same. Dd has always loved giving and receiving cuddles. You'll get them eventually. Don't worry.

DS, 6 months definitely went through a stage of no cuddles at around 18 weeks. He even preferred to be rocked to sleep in his pram

It did upset me but he changed his mind again very quickly.

He's been offering open mouthed kisses or will give kisses when asked only if he's in the mood, of course

Please try not to worry too much. Your baby will change and want your cuddles soon.

i'm not sure if the cuddliness evolves. My dd was just the same, she really didn't enjoy being confined.

Was a very sensitive baby, and is a very sensory sensitive child. It was quite upsetting to be deflected by her, she just hated fuss. If she could have said 'put me down' she would have.

As she got older she got more loving, and lots of i love you mummy, and loved being together and holding hands. Wanted to be picked up more, and just be near me.

She is 11 now, and we are extremely close, and always have been.

Oh yes, DD1 was the same. She used to hate, hate sitting on my lap. I'd go and meet the other NCT mothers and she would scream and scream until I got out a blanket, lay it on the floor and let her lie independently.

She's 4 now, and very affectionate.

my son was like this, then he went through a phase of only liking daddy :( broke my heart. he is now 12 years old and a big mummys boy who needs cudddles all the time :) don't be worrying x

Thank you for the replies x know I am being soft it's nice to hear nice things x

My DD would only be held upright and away from me for months. I would read all the threads on MN about 'enjoying those newborn cuddles' and think, "what cuddles?"
Think this stopped at around 7 or 8 months. She is now 19 months and loves to cuddle. In fact she is so gorgeously cuddly that we spend far too much time snuggled up on the sofa!

They are all different - you have to take the cue from them- it must be very hard being the child of an 'attachment parent' if you just want your own space!

My ds was just like this, and only now, at 2.8, will he give me proper cuddles! It doesnt mean anything, its the same in adults, some people will hug anyone, some people very rarely hug.

Both of mine have been a bit like this. Ds1 actively pushed people away and would arch his back and cry if I dared to sit and hold him. He wanted to be off exploring the world and learning. He's 5 now and lovely, very affectionate. I think he became a bit more affectionate once he understood it a bit more and he realised it wasn't just me restricting him! (think he was about 20 months by then!!!)

DS2 is 17 months and will tolerate cuddles from me and DH but even then, it's more a quick hug and a kiss, then he's whinging to be off again. He won't let anyone else touch him!

They are all very different. Some babies are stuck to you like velcro. Others are more inquisitive. They're all fine and 'normal' though so try not to worry.

My DS was the same- from about 10 weeks, he suddenly refused to be held, bar being fed.
We had a wonderful trip out to Pizza Express when he was about 3-4 months- we were seated in the window (big floor to ceiling job), and he would only be content if lying on the floor on a blanket, wiggling, so down he went, under the table, most happily.

Lots of people seemed to go by very slowly

Now he's 18 months, he still doesn't give cuddles really (except when the hoover's on and then he clings to me for dear life!) but gives lots of kisses and is very physical.

It made me at first, but now I know it's just him.

DS was the same from about 3 months he didn't want to be held at all I even had to feed him in his buggy apart from the night feeds, he started to cuddle more once he got mobile it was like once he could come and hug you then leave when he chose he liked it, he's like this with a lot of other things too for example he's terrible in a high chair but will sit in a big chair and eat it think he just doesn't like to be confined and knows his own mind.

We now have a cuddle every morning when we get up he comes and sits on my knee and snuggles to watch telly and will always sit on my knee if i'm on the floor. I think non cuddly babies tend to be independent children who get very frustrated as little babies as they want to walk around talking to everyone but they can't and people keep picking them up and moving them around when they want to be left alone.

Ahh yes we also have the high chair thing Lola88. You summed it up very well with them getting frustrated as babies. Both mine have hated being picked up and disturbed!

My newborn son was just the same. Preferred to be held upright, leant away from me, didn't like snuggling, wouldn't sleep unless I put him down. I started a similar thread on here as I felt a bit sad.
But, now he's 7 months old and recently he loves putting his arms round my neck and cuddling (and trying to pull my long hair!). He also tries to lick my face which makes us both laugh. So he's learnt it as he got older.

Earnshaw - that describes my 2 perfectly.

DD1 didn't tolerate cuddles and was into doing her own thing. If she was feeling cuddly then she was usually poorly. Even when she hopped into bed with us she'd be bored or too warm after 2 mins and off again.

Now at 12, she'll come up to me and give me a cuddle. And she likes to link her arm through mine as we walk around together.

DD2 was velcro-baby. And she managed to sneak into our bed without waking us every night for about 3 years once she could get out of her own bed. (I loved waking to find her snuggled up.)

Now, she generally sleeps the night through, but if she still loves to get into bed with me and have a snuggle in the mornings and asks her Dad to wake her up early when he leaves for work just so she can do it.

DD (4) was like this (still is to some extent - she'll come for cuddles sometimes now but is a fidget with a bony bum so it's not a great experience! ) she was independent from the off and always loved socialising with other people.
To be honest I'd love her to want more cuddles but she shows me she loves me in other ways - always draws pictures of me, tells me she loves me, runs over and gives me kisses, wants to be like me and always chooses the 'best' things for me.
It's taken a while but these little things have helped make up for it and I don't feel any less close to her than my other DC.

DS1 (2.4) is the opposite - only wants me, wants cuddles a lot - when he's tired, when he's hungry, when his sister's been mean, when he's not getting his own way!

Both have their benefits but I'm hoping DS2 (5 mo) is somewhere inbetween! (So far he's fairly cuddly but likes his space too so that's looking good!)

Have you tried baby massage? I found that was great for getting my babies used to being touched in a positive way, rather than the normal face / bum wiping. Might be worth a try, but all babies are different, my ds is far more 'cuuddly' than my dd.

Yep, my baby DD was never bothered about cuddles. She was far too busy for all of that!

She gradually changed her mind and now can"t get enough of them.