I'll be a aunt/god-mother in 11 weeks and have no clue about babies! Help!!!!

[Laura1stTimeGodmother]

Hi Mumsnetters!

I am completely new to the site and I'm hoping some of you on here might be able to give me some advice.

My best friend is expecting her first baby in 11 weeks. I'm going to be his godmother which is amazing! I want to be a great support and offer her any assistance that she needs including looking after him when she needs a break. However I know absolutely nothing about babies and have never looked after a baby before, so I'm worried I won't be able to help!

Any tips or advice for a scared newbie?

Thanks
Laura

ah, what a lovely post. Congrats to your friend, and you! Is the father of the baby around? I only ask because the level of support your friend will need will obviously be different if she is on her own. Be prepared for her NOT to need or want much in the way of a "break" for a fair while (though actually I naffed off out of the house for an hour or two on day 5!). I think the most important thing is to make sure she knows she can ask you. The best things in the early days are being able to go for a long shower or bath, or a nap, someone doing a little housework of cooking - could you make up some chilli, shepherds pie etc to go in her freezer? As for babies, there isn't really much you need to know. If you're changing a nappy, wipe from front to back, if you lay it down to sleep, lay it on its back with its feet at the foot of the moses basket, to wind it after a feed, drape a muslin cloth to protect your clothes and lay it over your shoulder and rub its back til it burps, stroking the brow line and down the nose induces sleep (or always did in mine) and sometime they will just be crying for no real reason and want a cuddle. Best of luck x

You sound like such a lovely friend!

For me, having friends show an interest in me and my little one meant the world to me, but if you want to do more than that maybe try...

Coming over and cooking while she holds the baby or offering emergency food parcels (simple stuff that's easy to eat with one hand is ideal) - food was always appreciated in those early days.

Offering to watch the baby in the house while she catches us up on sleep (but understanding and not taking it personally if she can't bear to let the baby out of her sight/arms for the first few weeks - my little girl is almost 2 and she's still only ever been left with family)

Offering help with the washing - unbelievable how much mess a newborn makes!

Similar to the above and would vary depending on how much other support she will be receiving from family, but these are the things that I would have been so very grateful for if someone had offered them freely!

• dishwashing.
• general household cleaning (eg floors, bathroom].
• organisation (lots of new stuff cluttering up the place, just wished someone else could hang clothes, chuck out gift boxes, find a neat home for the new stuff!)
• shopping (for essentials + baby stuff she didn't think/know she'd need/have enough of; I was very grateful for emergency nappy and formula runs when Huggies turned out to super leak and I couldn't bf).
• make up a pamper-pain-relief box NOW! I am creating these as gifts for friends who are becoming first time mums; do some research on MN for post-partum care, but basically if you can get the following then it'd be great: cold compress, cocodamol, witch hazel, maternity pads (oh the odds that she underestimates how much she needs...), flannels (much better for drying downstairs than tissue), arnica, Lansinoh, a small jug (for pouring over in toilet). I really didn't appreciate how useful these things would be until about 5 days post partum...

> She may already be looking at some of these things, but just make sure she's covered!

No one could really help me with the baby things that really tired me, like feeding and being woken up at night, and I just wanted to hold my little one the rest of the time so it was these practical things that others could actually help me with.

Oh also, give her some perspective if she's talking to you when the baby blues hit. I was so convinced I wouldn't get them ( what gave me that idea?!). Day 3 pp and I was bawling my eyes out about how terrible a mother I was and that my DS' umbilical stump was infected because of me. I wasn't and it wasn't.

Finally, if you have any power over this somehow, help her have free space, to herself (and baby), if that's what she wants. People want to visit but she's just been through some major impact on her body, on her life, she won't be sleeping much, probably not eating much (took me a couple of weeks to eat properly again), and she'll have this wonderful new bundle to snuggle with when the peaceful moments finally hit so no this is not the time to have the world and his neighbour round for tea