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Original poster

I'm about to lose it

20 replies

TheFallenNinja · 21/06/2013 17:35

9 months old and every night is hours and hours of screaming, relentless screaming.

Hours and hours of shush pat, hours and hours of pick up and put down, blackout curtains, toys that are supposed to help sleep, baby massage, quiet time, bath time, bottle time.

Hours and hours of screaming. tonight is starting again.

Health visitor fucking useless, usual tripe.
I am approaching my wits
end.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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FlatsInDagenham · 21/06/2013 17:38

No real advice but I do know what you're going through. 15 month old DD was the same until about 11 months.

FlatsInDagenham · 21/06/2013 17:39

We put it down to teething and we got through a LOT of calpol.

Original poster
TheFallenNinja · 21/06/2013 17:44

Thanks. I think I might drink the calpol myself. Smile

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HappyJustToBe · 21/06/2013 17:47

Don't drink the Calpol! Get yourself something MUCH nicer - you definitely deserve it.

Wish I had some decent advice but alas no, I've been there though and it is a bugger. Do you have someone to share it with. DH and I did a combo of half night each of one night on then one night off and EARPLUGS.

TwentyTinyToes · 21/06/2013 17:48

Is co-sleeping an option? Saved my sanity around that time. It will pass. Flowers

Raaraathenoisybaby · 21/06/2013 17:52

Can you write more detail? If its teeth you need Calprofen or whatever brand baby ibuprofen. Also I have a white noise app which works with dd2 who is a screecher at times.

Dummy?

I empathise. My two arnt too bad but I know well the feeling where all the sympathy for the screaming baby has evaporated and is replaced by rage!

SandyChick · 21/06/2013 17:52

My 14 month old was the same. He's getting there now thank god.

At its worst it was every hour. Tried feeding, cuddles, controlled crying, shush pat etc. He has never been a good sleeper but he has had a few problems with feeding (was diagnosed with cmpi around 15 weeks). Teething doesn't help either. He already has 14 teeth and those first molars have a lot to answer for! I put it down to separation anxiety/teething/me giving in and picking him up so he wouldn't wake the whole house.

There wasn't really one particular thing that worked. I found that he would just scream and scream (I left him for 45 mins one might with no let up) so I would pick up the first time and check nappy/hunger/rub gums. Then settle him back down knowing that he was ok. Then the next time he woke i wouldn't pick him him up but it took lots of patting and shushing and not leaving room til he was pretty much asleep. He would start to cry as I left but would settle himself within a minute or two. His sleeping pattern seems to go in phases now. We either get 1 wake up during night for a drink and quick cuddle then back to sleep til after 7am (7-7) or at the moment he is sleeping all night without a peep but is up for the day at 5.30Confused

I really sympathise with you. I can cope with most things but lack of sleep is torture. It will get better Smilegood luck.

Original poster
TheFallenNinja · 21/06/2013 18:22

Thanks all. DP is on nights at the moment so it's just me and DD.

All the tips are welcome, thanks, I think I need to go back to the drawing board, I'm sitting here next to the cot, she is screaming the place down, if I pick her up, silence, lower her down screaming, I've tried later bed times, earlier bed times, more naps in the daytime, less naps in the day time. She naps for no more than 30 minutes anyway.

I'm sure the neighbours think I'm slaughtering animals in here as I sit here unable to help her sleep I'm starting to think about returning the worlds best dad socks I got for Father's Day Hmm

I need a pee, a coffee and a fag.

I take the odd break as she screams whether I'm here or not but, phew, this is pretty testing stuff.

OP posts:
Raaraathenoisybaby · 21/06/2013 19:33

What happens if you take her out in the pram/car?

3littlefrogs · 21/06/2013 19:37

What you describe are classic symptoms of earache. She may have an ear infection, or referred pain from back teeth.

Little children with earache experience excruciating pain when horizontal, which is instantly relieved by being picked up and held vertically.

Try ibuprofen, and get her ears checked asap.

HTH

Cosmo89 · 21/06/2013 19:47

2nd investigating the ear-ache

Definitely use ibuprofen to see if it helps- better than Calpol at getting at teeth pain too. Roll the doses for a day or so to allow her to build up some pain relief.

With us, it was silent reflux, which went undiagnosed in DS for 7 horrific months. To be fair, like many other babies, DS's was much worse (as his stomach was more acidic) with teething. Once on meds MUCH better.

Is your GP any good- if not, move surgery and get yourself a good one who listens. If its teeth then the painkillers will help.

This will be trial and error for a bit but you will see the light at the end....

OddBodd · 21/06/2013 20:02

My DS1 went through a delightful phase similar to this from about 8 months til he was about a year old. It was in his case separation anxiety. I'd stand next to the cot and he'd scream and scream, pick him up and he'd be fine, lay him down, he'd start again. In the end I just gave in, put a matress in his room for me to sleep on and whenever he cried I just went through, took him out the cot, snuggled up with him on the matress on the floor. He eventually stopped waking up crying and slept through on his own when he got to about 12 months. Is co sleeping not possible?? (I know it's not everone's cup of tea) but for us it was the ony way any of us got any sleep.

I do sympathise. My DS2 was also a crap sleeper from birth actually, he ended up only wanting to sleep on DH's chest. We went with it and eventually he got the hang of this sleeping at night malarky! It is so hard, the screaming is unbearable but you are not the ony mother out there who is standing by a cot with a screaming baby. All over the world women are doing the same thing, feeling exactly the same frustration that you do. I know that doesn't help but my point is that you will get through it and you aren't alone. It won't last forever...but it does feel like it though!

debbie1412 · 21/06/2013 20:44

Go and have your fag, she'l come to no harm in her cot for 5 mins.

Original poster
TheFallenNinja · 21/06/2013 21:21

Thanks for the tips. I hadn't considered her ears, it's usually mine that are ringing. Smile

In all honesty I think all I've successfully managed to do is sleep train her to this point, this is her norm. She's almost crawling so I guess that's perhaps on her mind and she's learning new stuff almost daily now so she must have a very busy mind. To go forward and make it less stressful for her I will go back to the drawing board, review the routine and hopefully improve.

It was a hell of a night to think about quitting the fagsConfused

OP posts:
teacher123 · 21/06/2013 21:24

Is it possible to set up a mattress on the floor in her room? Last week we had some horrific nights with DS after his mmr, and he just will not cosleep (thinks its playtime, wahoo mummy, look at me bouncing on your head!) so I made a den on the floor in his room and dozed on that, intermittently making soothing noises to try and calm him down. At least I we horizontal even though it nearly crippled me as it was so uncomfortable. DH was also on nights, so it was just me and DS and it was awful!

You have all my sympathy. I have also found that calprofen is much better for teeth, and you can do the alternating thing (calpol, then two house later calprofen etc follow all the dosages really carefully obv) and that helps.

Hope you've had something to eat and a ciggie x

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 21/06/2013 21:27

It was a hell of a night to think about quitting the fags

Jesus, you're a better woman than me! It's times like that that have made me consider starting smoking Grin

Good luck getting DD sorted out :)

Mondaybaby · 21/06/2013 21:37

I second the suggestion up thread about co sleeping. It's the only thing that helped me when my dd was 9 months old.

Original poster
TheFallenNinja · 21/06/2013 22:40

Thanks. On principals that I probably can't explain I'm really not up for the idea of co sleeping. I'd end I going to bed at 6:30pm for a start.

However, nothing is off the table, I'll just need to find a method to teach her to self settle. I keep hoping that one day soon she'll like the idea of an afternoon snooze Smile

How else will she get through a formula 1 race with me?

Still, they say the first 18 years is the hardest.

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Fefifo · 22/06/2013 01:12

Have you tried music? My eldest was an absolutely crap sleeper for ages but it did get a lot better when I started putting her to sleep with some really soft classical music or just and really soft instrumental music and leaving it on repeat quietly all night. Unfortunately for me, as we co-slept I ended up awake half the night as I can't sleep without complete silence but as you probably know not being able to sleep because you yourself can't doesn't even touch the sides of not being able to sleep because you've got a baby screaming at you so I lived with it. May be worth a try.

Fefifo · 22/06/2013 01:18

Oh and I know you probably have, but if you haven't, try all different types of teething powder. I know lots of mums swear by Ashton and parsons but it did nothing for my DD, however I found Nelsons really helped her so I think some brands work better for different babies.

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