My 3 year old ds is ultra clingy (he is no.3 of 4). He has always been clingy to the point that when I tried him in nursery at 12 months we only lasted a month - he would scream when I dropped him off and would still be upset when I came back. As he didn't HAVE to go we gave up and I worked at night. He has only ever been looked after by my mil or friend for a few hours here there but not consistently.
He is not a shy boy at all when it suits him. He will gladly just get involved in group activities if he is familiar with the other people for instance at toddler group he is happy just to go off and play. However he doesn't let me do anything on my terms I.e tonight I would like to pick my eldest ds up from gymnastics. I have told him I am doing this and that daddy is doing bedtime and he has been screaming for the last 15 minutes for me ( I am putting the baby to bed). I do feel that in some situations there is genuine anxiety but in others I think he is just playing me. With 4 kids we don't have time to deal with his screaming tantrums so more often than not we avoid situations which will cause such a fuss. This means I have to do everything with him which in turn means I feel trapped by him which makes me grumpy which he then picks up on so it makes him worse.
How do get out of this viscious circle??
Thank you