Losing it with my fussy eaters!!!

[HerNibs1980]

My Children are driving me absolutely crazy with their fussy eating!! Every...single....meal I put in front of them gets thrown away!! My eldest 2 will eat some but my youngest hasnt touched her food, apart from breakfast and lunch, for weeks!! Its turning into a full on battle resulting in my ending up bellowing EAT at her as have literally had enough...I'm totally losing it!! It doesnt help that we are financially ruined and every meal that goes in the bin I think what a waste of money!! Am starting to think about just not cooking food for them in the evening for a couple of days and see if that kick starts them into appreciating their food!! It also doesnt help lots of people commenting on how petite and small my daughter is when I'm sat there thinking what am I supposed to do about it when she refuses to put anything in her mouth unless its sandwich or cereals!! They are 7, 5, 3 and a half! Also my cooking is not awful or anything, I cook meals from scratch and am a good cook.

Please help as I have just completely lost it with my children and called them spoiled and ungrateful, and dont want to lose it again!!

Why not give them what they do eat, specially if money is tight? Sandwiches don't have to be terrible either.

Agree - what is wrong with sandwiches, so many people are 'obsessed' with hot meals. Will they eat fruit or some salad with a sandwich?

I'd step back and stop making meals such a battleground. You aren't going to win. I still won't go near things I was forced to eat as a child, nearly 40 years on. Can you just make bland, boring meals they will all eat for a while, then try to introduce new things gradually? I really don't think trying to starve them into submission is a good idea.

I had/have two fussy eaters and when I realised how stressed it was making me, I just gave them stuff they would eat. Luckily they did both eat a big enough range of things to be healthy (fruit & veg etc) just nothing in sauces/new/mixed up etc etc. DS is now 14 and will eat pretty much anything - he suddenly became much better at about age 11.

Mine canbe the same. I now do pick n mix.

Chicken pieces
Cheese
Cucumber
Tomato
Crackers with butter
Apple

They wont starve.

Ds once ate egg and beans for 3 weeks!

I had this.

I ofen gave DS food he liked, and adding some new stuff every now or then.

No need to bin anything, or not often, as mst thingsan be reheated ( or DH will appily eat any leftovers).

Also, massive cut dwn n snacks. Some parents seem to ave taught their kids to graze all day ( juice fills them up too) then are surprised they don't eat a big meal.

3 meals a day, small snack at 11 and 4, then pretend to be calm at meal times.

I had a rule that they did not have to eat ( much) but they HAD to sit dwn at the tabe for 10 mins, and they were not allwed ever to e rude about the food. Nt hungry? Fine. But no snacks half an hour after lunch etc.

It was playing the long game, but it worked.

Hi OP I have two DC, brought up exactly the same way. Oldest is 5 and eats mussels (on hols in France! Goats cheese, beet root, you name it ) youngest is 2 nearly 3 and eats peanut butter on bread, cereal, eggs, sometimes slag Bol and of course any pudding/ sweets. It was driving me bloody nuts as felt why should DC1 eat a restricted diet (not prepared to make separate things) I now make a meal but keep DC2 food sewerage e.g. Cheese, spinach, ham omelette DC2 gets plain bit of omlette, grated cheese, cucumber, ham ( he won't eat ham but i put it there so he sees it and might try) chicken and pea risotto, DC2 gets shredded chicken (prob won't eat it but again it's there) pile of peas, grated cheese and plain bit of ridotto rice I scoop out before I add herbs, chicken, cheese etc at end. It's working a bit but he still eats less than DS2 and asks lots of 'what's this? I don't like this etc questions. I just say 'leave it then'. He is responding better and especially if I read to them and try spooning a bit in when he's distracted. Not ideal but my stress level is going down as he eats something each meal.

Sorry spag Bol!!! BAD typo!

Oh god seperate came out as sewerage! You will be thinking no wonder the poor child won't eat your food!

I am with you Op. My nearly 3 1/2 yr old drives me mad at tea time. I dread it every day and try very hard not to get stressed but normally fail miserably. He is going through a phase at the moment where he won't eat things he used to like. Or, he'll say he'd like something in particular so I gleefully cook it, only to find he'll hardly eat any of it anyway.
I really like the pick and mix idea and also the point about not getting het up over hot meals. Pick and mix means he can choose what he wants and I won't get shouty. Got to be good all round. Good luck Op.

Cheers guys.

Yes I also promise myself I wont get shouty and fail miserably. I know I'm making a rod for my own back as I am turning it into such a big thing that even if she wanted to she may not eat it just because of the pressure. Just am SO fed up with it now you know? I do cook some plain meals too which she also wont eat. I know you say why not give her sandwich or cereals for dinner if she likes it, but i'm not sure if thats making a rod for my own back and ending up with her never eating anything but that and I really want her to have a nutritious diet like my older 2. My eldest is the best eater and does eat most things I make now but will turn his nose up at anything new. My middle one is inbetween the older and younger. He'll eat a bit but not much whereas my youngest is just not eating anything.

I think its also effecting me as I have been trying out different recipes to help financially, stuff that spreads further and costs less but is still really yummy, so when they turn their nose up it worries me as I dont know how to feed them you know?

Hyperhelpmummy, thank you for making me chuckle, those typos were fantastic. lol.

Agree with recycling leftover food options for recycling include dh, dog, other kids, lunches and pretty much anything can be blended into soup

Not helpful I know but you really need to take a step back and not force the issue with her.
No snacks, juice etc before dinner may mean that she's actually hungry and if not well you know, no kids has ever deliberately starved themselves to death!

It's quite normal for some people to not be hungry in the evening.
You can make sure her sandwiches something nutritious as I your still desperately concerned sneak some vitamin drops in her juice

I have a fussy eater too, 3yo. Things slowly getting better. Things that seemed to have helped are:
Swapping to lunch as main meal (I find he's still full at tea time after big sandwich even with no snack) whenever feasible. You could always reheat last nights tea to save cooking again.
Dropping afternoon milk, but allow as much as wanted before bed.
Batch cooking and freezing portions - allows choice and I'm a lot less upset about that going in the bin than something I've just spend an hour or more cooking.
Let him help with food prep - home made pizza, fish cakes, picking herbs.
Sticker chart for eating "nicely" = decent attempt at food he likes and try of new things.
Fruit for pudding. If he's eaten nicely and eats his fruit then will usually get offered yummy pud too.
Cooking things I like, so at least one of us enjoys the food.

Interestingly he eats anything and everything at nursery. They looked at me like I had 2 heads when I said he was fussy!!

I keep reminding myself that though he's slender, he's not underweight and I should just relax. Far, far more important IMHO that he doesn't grow up with food issues.

OP I like 'I keep DC2 food sewerage'!!!!! You couldn't make that up! Ha ha! Poor child! Another tea time disaster, pick and mix plate of sausage, carrot sticks, cucumber, cheese, bread (both kids eat main meal at school/preschool today) and DC2 ate cucumber and sausage and then a yog and grapes. Sigh.

Hyperhelpmum - yes that was definitely my favourite too. lol....really made me belly laugh. :D

Thank you so much guys I'm feeling alot better that its not just me who finds this frustrating and all the brilliant advice. I think I'll definitely stop forcing the issue with her and just leave her too it and see what that does. If not I'll try reward charts etc and see what happens.

Thank you loads again this has been really helpful. :) xxxx