No lunch today- or any other day tbh

[beautifulwinter]

I`m new to all this (parenting websites, not motherhood, my daughter is 7.5yrs old) so forgive my non shorthand.

My daughter takes a packed lunch to school everyday, also she brings it majoritally home too, i am fed up with it not getting eaten, she has input into what goes in there so its not like she isnt getting stuff she likes.
Ive tried ignoring it and ive tried grounding her from playing out with her friends, Ive also tried not giving her so much brekfast, ive tried letting her have school meals but the school cant get her to eat them either.
She eats brilliantly at home why wont she eat her lunch at school?

My DS1 is the same. After much yelling, pulling my hair out, banning of toys etc I've just accepted he doesnt eat much - he's a slow eater, easily distracted and wants to go out to play - so am giving smaller and smaller packed lunches. Today he had a mini sub roll with chicken and houmous in, 2 dates, a juice and a frube for lunch. Reduce the amounts and see if it helps.

PS For what its worth, I make sure he has a good filling breakfast in the morning, a healthy snack after school and balanced cooked meal at dinner time so a lighter lunch isnt the end of the world.

Grounding her is not going to make her lunch. She won't connect the two things and I think it isn't the right sanction.

Have you asked her why doesn't eat the things she chooses?

Could she be anxious about eating in public? Will she eat in any settings other than your home?

If she has a good breakfast and a decent hot evening meal I wouldn't worry too much. I had a fussy eater, more often than not the lunch would come back, but I knew he was being fed well twice a day.

Small portions of stuff she definitely likes is key. Don't worry about repetition - if you think about what we as adults eat for lunch, we tend to eat similar things day after day.

Sandwiches and rolls (however small) don't always work, but why not put present the fillings as individual bits - eg a few slices of ham/chicken/turkey rolled up, a few cherry tomatoes, a couple of slices of cucumber or carrot/pepper sticks? A finger sized flapjack might work and should be ok for most schools. Also, grapes that have already come off the stalk and are in a little tub. Some savoury crackers, a frube, a smoothie, maybe? Some cheese cubes?

There's quite a few possibilities why she might not be keen on eating at school. She might be easily distracted - chatting and the prospect of playing are very distracting when you're 7! The tables might be wobbly, or unclean, and this might put her off. She might not like it if she drops food on her uniform, and be worried about that kind of thing, too. Sometimes it's a control issue - if she feels like she doesn't have much control over her school day/time, she may be exercising control over the one thing she can - her lunch. You could always offer what is uneaten (and still in good condition) as part of her afternoon snack?

It might be worth having a chat with the school and letting them know that you're going to reduce the amount in her lunchbox and to talk to them about the lunch routine, and see if they've noticed anything about why she's not eating. But, at the end of the day, she's eating well at home, and she's eating a balanced diet. Hope it all works out well :)

I have started giving smaller lunches, she is starving when she gets out of school, i have stopped putting treats in her lunch box simply because thats all that got eaten haha.
She has no problem with social eating she is fine any other time, but i am wondering whether it could be the fact she cant wait to get out with her friends and im told shes a chatterer.
The grounding was simply a tacktic to try and get her to eat it, she new full well what the conciquences where.
I have chatted to her teacher who is going to sit with her.

Thank you all for your help :)