Struggling with 10wk old....any advice..?

[Ann4New]

Hi everyone. New to MN so do tell me if I'm posting in the right place etc...

I have a 10-week old son and I think the sleep deprivation has finally got to me and I'm struggling. He seems so much more wired than the other babies from my antenatal class, he can't/won't sit still and is always pushing to look around. I guess it's good that he's so alert..?

But he's been so grumpy lately.he seems to just be crying constantly...and even if he stops briefly and I get some smiles, all I can remember at the end of the day is the bawling. I take photos and videos on my phone to remind myself it hasn't been hellish all day. And he still wants to feed every 2 hours. I tried pushing him to 3, and vaguely trying the baby whisperer EASY routine (but haven't had time to actually read the book...), but that broke both of us. He went 7hrs without a feed overnight, but that was with me up every hour or more to replace his dummy or settle him. We'd swaddled him but he has a massive startle reflex so smacks the sides of the Moses basket and wakes up, and really fights the swaddle. If I feed him overnight at least I can be relatively sure he'll fall asleep on me, but that's a bad habit to get into right? Aside from that he's taken to screaming after every feed when I put him up to burp him, and seems to regurgitate his milk a lot (though it doesn't always get as far as his mouth).

Ugh. I'm spent. I know it's all normal baby stuff and people cope perfectly well, and he's probably an angel compared to other babies, but I guess I'm less resilient than I thought. Any advice on how to get through what I hope is some kind of phase would be great, and I'll try and be less depressing next time I'm on!

Xx

No help but you have pretty much describes my life right now! I'm hoping someone will come along and tell you it will get easier soon.
My only suggestion would be get a woombie swaddle pod thing to stop him waking himself up, that has helped my DS, although he still only sleeps 3 hours at a time.

You're not alone!

Your DS sounds a lot like my DD at that age, and I think at 10wo you've just got to do what it takes to get through. 7 hours is quite a long time at that age to go without a feed though, and not much use if you're still up every hour! I think 3 or 4 is a more reasonable expectation, and even then some babies probably feed more often. I struggled through for a few months thinking I should get DD to feed less often and sleep on her own at night. It was only when we 'gave in' to co-sleeping and feeding through the night that I started to sleep better. Now she is 2, goes to sleep alone in her own bed and (mostly) sleeps through the night, so I can't see that the 'giving in' did her any harm :)

The daytime crying will soon get better. It's hard to listen to but it really is just their only way of communicating at the moment. Can you get out of the house, for a walk or to the park? The noise always seemed more intense if I was in the house alone with DD than if I was outside.

Have you got someone who could take over for a few hours and feed/entertain him? I found the early weeks much easier if I got 4 or 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep once a week. And everything changed for me at 12 weeks, I went from constant napping and co-sleeping to us both being in our own (separate) beds overnight. So there is hope! Things will improve.

Try not to worry too much about 'bad' habits like feeding to sleep or sleeping on you, it's just another tool at your disposal. When you've got the energy and patience then work on bedtime and sleep routines, and when you're fraught and exhausted then just do whatever works.

I agree with ruby about getting out every day for a walk, fresh air is good for both of you, and a bit of exercise will help keep you calmer and more relaxed.

But it will get better

So sorry you're having a tough time! Sleep deprivation is a nightmare that only parents with littles ones can understand.

Do you think that maybe it's teething? This can really upset them and make them irritable, so if really dribbly & chewing on hands etc., maybe try calpol.

Likewise, it does sound totally normal for this age. And I know it doesn't help right now, but it will get better - usually from around 12 weeks or so.

If he is waking himself up when he touches the side of the mosses basket then move him into his cot. All three of mine did that at this age but once in their cot it stopped.

Try actually stimulating him less or letting him have a relaxed area. Sounds funny but in this world it's very easy for little ones to get overstimulated and wired up.

Things like taking him for a walk in sling but him def facing inwards so he can hide/ snuggle into you without having to stare at traffic and people rushing past. In buggy make it snug and pull hood over so he can calmly look at shade instead of everything rushing by.

Also at home bare in mind that everything stimulates him at this age so just offer one toy/ in bouncer rather than in bouncer, music going, vibrations on, toys galore etc ( which you might not have anyway). Also tv

A miracle blanket was a life saver for us with our dd2. She was also really alert and couldn't sleep unless swaddled, but that blanket made a huge difference.

She's a pretty chilled 6mo now who sleep through, so there is light at the end of the tunnel!

You're doing a great job and this is normal.

Oops..

I meant also tv on, with radio on in another room, with cooking sounds etc may be too much so try and be aware of too much at once

Some theories say that the first 3 months are really the 'fourth trimester'. As really a baby would be better to stay inside for 12 months as grow and develop slowly and calmly but humans basically have grown to have a head too big so that doesn't work anymore. But the equivalent of having the first few months 'womb like' can help a lot of babies settle.

So wrapping him in swaddle/ or slinging can help a lot as less likely to startle themselves

Hi all, thanks for all your comments - it's really helpful being able to 'talk' to people. Grandparents came this afternoon so I got an hour's kip so feel marginally more human :)

ruby and lombo I try to get out most days now, but the last couple of days the weather has scuppered that plan!

3caramel I wondered if it could be teething - he's turned into a massive dribble machine the last week or so! And the other day he was chewing (as opposed to sucking) on my finger for a while. And his gums feel primed with teeth!

fruitsalad thanks for the tip - have added a few to my eBay watch list!

forevergreek I think we prob are guilty of over stimulating him. He seems so alert I guess we thought he wanted/needed the stimulation. And I'm only just realising the importance of naps, and that he won't necessarily 'know' when he needs a doze!

Thanks for the warm welcome :)

Hello, welcome to MN!

I have an 8 week old DD myself. I was guided to the 'troublesome tots' website and since I read this page on sleep I've been managing much better. I was misreading some sleep signals as hunger. It's also helped me know when she's awake if its too soon to encourage her to nap.

If your baby was born end of March/early April why not have a look at the April post-natal thread over here. We're a friendly bunch, mostly with babies around the same age so you'd be in glad company and get more ongoing support. Some of us joined when we were pregnant but there's new people joining all the time. Just introduce yourself then dive right in! :)