*Help* Feeling like a crap mum

[draggedthrooabush]

Ever since having ds2(7months) I feel guilty about the lack of time I have to spend with ds1(2yr 10mnth) I feel he is watching far too much tv especially in the morning when there is so much to do! I know probably every mother has this guilty feeling but I didnt expect to feel like this all the time. If i'm doing things with the baby i worry he's feeling left out and if i'm spending time with him I worry about the baby as i'm sure no1 got much more attention at the same age. Then theres the housework debate How do you fit it all in! When i have to do housework during the day I feel guilty about neglecting them both! But i'm fed up doing loads in the evening and not sitting down until 9ish. Does anyone have any tips about being a mum of 2? When do you stop feeling guilty? How can you keep them occupied without resorting to the tv without which my eldests constant warcry is "Mummy can you play with me please?"

It is really hard keeping everyone happy. I have a 2 1/2 yr ds and a 9 month old dd. I think the key is having a really good routine. I do the same jobs at the same time each day and do things like set out an activity to entertain them whilst i am busy. Once I have finished I will lavish them with lots of attention and praise them for being good. You can also get your toddler to help you do things like load the washing machine etc which they seem to enjoy. Another tip would be do a play date with one of your eldest's freinds and then obviously they can return the favour and that will buy you some time. I have also used the creche at the local lesure centre so i can spend some one on one time with each of them swimming or soft play. Don't beat yourself up if at the end of the day you haven't acomplished everything you set out to do as most things can wait until the next day. You have two small children and noone can expect your house to be immaculate so give yourself a break in the evening and have a rest.

Hope that helped Deby

You must be my twin!!!!ds is 2.5 and dd6 months.I have no tips but I could have written ypur thread.Felt like a complete cow today as yelled at ds 1 when he asked me to play as i was struggling to hang out washing and pacify screaming dd simultaneously.I am a dreadful mother!Guilt for plonking dd in rocker whilst entertaining ds ditto for doing things with ds 1 and ignoring baby double guilt whizzing round and doing housework tho ds does like to "help" me on occasions.I dontt usually stop til 9-10pm either.Bloody ironing.Then I go on mn for a bit,have bath then before u know it its 11pm then up a 4 for breastfeeding and the whole circus begins again!!!Take heart you are not alone and im sure I must be a much crapper mother.Surely it must get better!!Hugs