Lovely things about having 'one of each'

[blueseashore]

I have a 2 year old DD and just found out today we're having a little boy next. Am v excited but, silly as it sounds, a bit flummoxed about the family dynamics when you have one boy and one girl! DH is one of three boys and I am one of two girls - and oddly most of my cousins and friends are also same- sex siblings. If you have a DD and a DS do they get on? Do they have any common interests?! Is it as lovely as having same sex siblings? I am sure it is but coming from no experience of it would love to hear your stories.

I'm currently feeding DD who is two months old. She has an older brother. I can't comment on them as they get older but I found it really helpful while pregnant to remind me this baby would be her own person and not to expect another version of DS.

Big generalization but I speak only of my two. I think it adds an extra dimension to things eg my DS adores My Little Ponies and my DD loves playing sword fighting with DS. Not that they couldn't have without each other but maybe wouldn't have had the opportunity.

I also found that they seemed to socialize with the opposite sex easier eg my family is all girls and I always found boys to be very strange for a long time!

Best of both worlds

Thanks both - good points! Esp re feeling more comfortable socialising, I thought boys were an alien species for a good chunk of my childhood :-)

My ds1 is 4.5yo and dd2 is 7mo, and they worship each other! If she cries, ds rushes to her and gives her a cuddle, tells her we love her, brings her a toy - and nobody else gets the full on belly laughs that dd gives him. They are so sweet together, and I do wonder if ds would be quite so loving if she was a little boy. He sees her as being a bit different to him, as a girl, and seems to cherish her more for that. I also love the different personalities they both have - dd is already gentler and softer than ds, even though he is a sweet cuddly boy, there is something different about them already. Enjoy and congrats! I love having one of each

In my family it was just me and my brother, he us 18 mths older.

We played well as children, had the usual fights etc, but we were good company for each other.

Once we reached 17/18, we became really good friends, he is still my best friend and we are 31/32 now!

Good things in general (and this is just from personal experience), I was always comfortable around boys as there was one at home, whereas friends with just sisters, who went to all girls schools, were still awkward around boys in our twenties! Also, some same-sex sibs have gad much more difficult relationships due to being compared/competition/resentment as who is prettiest etc. obviously my brother and I never had this, but this may have been the case if i'd have had a sister as my parents always treated us equally. I would say that is important, to not treat them differently because of gender, e.g. My brother and I both had dance lessons and we both ride motorbikes

Congrats! Having a brother has always been a lovely experience for me

Thank you for sharing your stories, really good to hear. Especially yours angeltattoo as I had a bit of a wobble this morning feeling sad that my DD won't have a sister - I have such a close relationship with mine.

Similar to angeltattoo although me and my brother are 3 years apart. Apparently, he wasn't too impressed with me as a baby and 'would rather have had a kitten' but as we grew up I have nothing but fond memories of our relationship. We played together in the garden for hours. Despite having our own rooms, 9 times out of 10 we'd end up in each others bedrooms curled up together on the floor. As teenagers we referred to each other as best friend and our relationship was the best thing in my life at that point. Even now he's 32 and I'm 29, we have remained close and I adore him. He adores my kids and always makes a fuss of them (he has no children as yet).I'd say from my perspective that it was great. All of my friends with only sisters were jealous of the fact thaty I had a big brother to protect me and look out for me.

My dd was 2 years 8 months when her little brother was born. They have always been exceptionally close. They shared a bedroom until she was 9/10! She is 12 now and at secondary school but still tolerates him brilliantly, considering she is now a hormonal pre-teen.

When I fell pregnant with my second DC I was desperate for another DD, as she was so gorgeous and I really wanted her to have the closeness I have with my own Dsis. Dc2 turned out to have a willy.

I am ashamed to say it but I was devastated for my Dd, I so wanted her to have a sister However, Ds has been a joy and they absolutely totally and utterly adore each other. If I'm honest their relationship is so much more balanced than the one I have with my DSis, there's none of the competitiveness or comparison between them that can sometimes occur in same sex sibling relationships, there is little arguing or stropping about, it's just a really healthy friendship between them. They have a good set of friends and at 6 and 3 play happily with either gender be it one to one playing or in a group, unlike some families with all girls we know, who are boy hating, screamy and pink obsessed stroppy little madams (disclaimer : I know this is not necessarily the norm!)

Anyway... hope that's useful and congrats on your pregnancy

I had boy/girl twins and although I originally wanted same sex twins, its been great for them, and for us as a family. They have their own interests - he is a boys boy (would play football from morning till night), she's a girly girl. She has a calming influence on him, he takes her outside of her comfort zone. As a family, although its a bit of a sweeping generalisation, H gets to re-live his sporty childhood through DS's sports (although I go too) and I get to do crafty / pink things with her. Its made us all embrace things outside of our comfort zones. As they grow older, he'll watch out for her hopefully, she'll encourage him with his studies etc. They don't (generally) fight over each other's things.

They are 8 now, they go to bed separately but every night when we go to bed, they're in the same bed. H has to lift one of them back into their own bed.

My DC1 is a girl, DC2 is a boy. DD loves to boss around look after her little brother. I love their little quirks and differences. One minute they are both playing trains, the next DS is all dolled up in fairy wings and tiaras...love it!

ah, you're all so kind to share your stories - definitely helping me get very excited about giving DD a baby brother - thank you.

In my family we are girl girl boy girl....and the smoothest relationships are each sister with our brother, iyswim. I am no 2 and younger brother and sister always got on well and played together well.... I don't think gender is a divisive issue when they're little, but just gives everyone some breathing room over differences. and FWIW the pairs of brothers I know as adults, don't seem close at all.

Congrats!

plus older sister and I used to paint DB's nails when he was teeny, he loved it and is quite the charmer now

When I hear about sibling relationships they seem to be harmonious when they dont have reasons to fight i.e. Over Toys/Clothes/Rooms e.t.c.

My Brother and got on so well we have never had an argument. My sister and I fought every day & havent spoken for 7 years (good riddance).

I have a Daughter & Son and although they are young, they seem to have a wonderful loving caring relationship. I know personalities will develop over time however I am so happy to have 1 of each.

I have Dd and Ds three years between them and it is a lovely balance. They are able to bring out the female and male traits in each other and explore all gender identities eg Ds used to like to have his finger nails painted and dd on watching son play football for a club wants to have a go too!

It is wonderful and they are lovely to each other most of the time. Really it is not that they are a girl or boy they are just different people and I would encourage you to see it that way! Try not to get caught up in so much of the stereotyping we have of boys and girls and appreciate them as individuals.

Same age gap here as fufflebum's and agree it's lovely for a balanced life and widened horizons. Mine are teenagers now and great friends: they go into town together or sit talking together in the evenings: dd knows a lot more about ds and his girlfriends than we do.

You'll be able to tell each of them 'you're the best boy/girl in the world and mean it