Combining breast feeding with formula?

[moominmaiden]

I was wondering if anybody else has done this and if they thought it worked well?

A bit of background...

Due in six weeks with first baby :) Until now I've been dead set on exclusively breastfeeding (not that I am militant about it or disapproving of those who choose formula) but over the last few months DH has mentioned several times that he would prefer to try a combination for the following reasons:-

1. He wants to feed the baby too and is worried about bonding if he doesn't.

1. He thinks I will be too tired if I'm feeding the baby every couple of hours (I think I will be tired too, but that's just the way it is with babies, and besides, he will be working full time, so I don't think it is fair to make him get up in the night).

1. Many of his colleagues / friends with babies have done the same thing and recommend it.

Looking through my baby books and leaflets from the midwife I know that bottle / breast combination is discouraged by many midwives because it might confuse the baby, but I am not adverse to trying it ... DH is becoming more vocal about it as D-day approaches, and it is his baby too so he should have a say ... I just wanted to hear more about how it might work as none of my own friends done it.

Anyone?

x

I did this with my first 2 DCs and TBH I found it harder than exclusively feeding one way or the other. I had wanted to bf exclusively but lost my confidence both times.

Your DH's argument about needing to feed the baby to bond with it is crap btw. If he wants to be a hands on Dad, he can change nappies and bath the baby.

TBH, I wouldn't make any decisions now. Not all women find bf hard. It is full on and very, very intensive in the first few weeks but I don't see that it is any way more difficult than bottle feeding what with all the guidelines for making up formula correctly and the endless sterilising.

We actually mix feed in that DP gives one bottle of formula at night so I can get an early night (then wake up to bf later).

However from what I've read, breast milk is much better health wise for babies, and it is also good if you can to stick to breast milk because of the development of the gut.

You may wish to show this research to DP to get him onside. The argument about men not bonding if they can't feed is silly. Do you love your dad? Does he? Did your fathers feed you? There is so much more than men can do.

I'd basically plow on with ebf if you can, and if you can express so baby can take some in a bottle, great. Plenty of people manage to ebf successfully and cope with tiredness.

If however you end up on your knees (like me a complete anxious wreck!) then of course you can mix feed, it's less than optimal in health terms but baby has been fine with it and is not confused.

Your DH would be able to bond with the baby if he put him/her into a sling and went for a walk. I feel that the holding close is way more important than the holding of a bottle.
And I'm not a ff hater - my DS had to go on to formula (the stress of him having heart surgery at 9 days old caused my milk to disappear. With medication it didn't come back) and he thrived! My DD (10 weeks old) is ebf and I'm thrilled that it is working. It is much easier than sorting bottles!
I know not all babies are like this but she has slept through a few times already, and if she does wake in the night, she only wakes once. And I only have to get her from the crib alongside our bed, I don't have to get up and go to the kitchen, heat up milk etc..... So the tiredness thing potentially could be misleading.
Your DH can do so much more for the baby than give a bottle - burping, changing nappies, getting dressed, bathing, settling etc. and as I said earlier if he took the baby out in a sling for a walk (which would give you half an hour to relax or nap or do chores - your choice!) he would feel the closeness of a snugly baby and hopefully love it!
This is my experience, if there's one piece of advice I can give about having a baby it's that you need to do what works for you. It so often feels that books/inlaws/random people give opposing advice and you aren't sure whats right. Be aware of healthcare guidelines and for everything else trust your instinct and what seems to feel right for you.
Having children is the best adventure I've ever been on - even in the difficult or frustrating moments! Good luck with your new adventure!

Hah, perhaps I am just really horrid. My experience was that my partner was all for combination feeding our baby and I just shouted him down I intended to breastfeed my first baby and it just didn't get off the ground because I knew bugger all about breastfeeding and the hospital support was quite frankly crap. I found that surprisingly upsetting and was absolutely determined to breastfeed my second baby, for all the usual reasons.

He never said it, but yeah I do think he was initially resentful that he wasn't giving her a bottle. He was nevertheless very supportive of breastfeeding - you do need them on-side so they fetch the tea and biscuits! It passed very quickly - now at three and a half months she's actually a much nicer baby for him than me - I think because to her, mum = dinner and dad = playtime Something I think was really nice for their bonding (and my sleeping) was that in the first couple of weeks I just stayed in bed most of the day - he brought the baby (and the tea) when she wanted feeding, and when she was asleep he cuddled her on the sofa while I slept.

The thing for me is this: he is back at work now, and I do all the nightfeeds alone. It is so much easier to slide the baby over from her crib and pop her on the boob than it is to trudge to the cold kitchen and fix a bottle. This is my second child so it was always going to be easier because I knew what to expect a bit better, but I will tell you this, it is striking how much more sleep I am getting this time, despite my other one getting up at 6am. Fun fact: at night when you feed, your body produces a chemical that helps you and the baby sleep once you've finished feeding. How cool is that (I spent a lot of time reading about breastfeeding online in the early days when she seemed to feed incessantly and all i could really do was look at things on my phone).

Check to see if there are any breastfeeding drop in clinics near you - there are loads in my area and they are so helpful. They'll be able to talk to you about combination feeding, or expressing (you'd probably have to wait a few weeks till bf established, but might that be a compromise he could go for?). I think you have to be careful with formula in the early days so you don't compromise supply further down the line, but if you can find a clinic you can go along before you give birth and they can help you work out a plan that's good for you and DH. Good luck! Babies are lovely however they're fed, and DH will love your baby regardless of whether he feeds it or not (He could always do the weaning, in a few months, that's good fun!)

We did mixed feeding through necessity rather than choice. We didn't start off that way though. We shared feeding from the start though as I expressed some that DH could do some of the feeding.
I have arthritis and was very poorly after having DS. Holding DS for long periods of time was very difficult and being able to share care was essential. I was lucky that expressing worked well and was quick for me. I was also lucky that DS wasn't bothered how he got milk as long as he got it.
We mixed in formula when I didn't get a chance to express or when I was too poorly/tired and we needed extra.

I don't think that you can plan it to much though you need to go with the flow. You don't know what works for your baby until your baby arrives I'm afraid. Be prepared for all options and that will take the stress out of feeding.

There's a very good bottle/breastfeeding board on Mumsnet where you can get more opinions. The thing about bonding is nonsense - if you ebf then you do the feeding, he does everything else! I ebf and currently DH is downstairs playing with baby while I have a lie in.

You'd need to ebf for a few weeks at the beginning to ensure BF is established and there's no nipple/teat confusion. Then introduce a bottle later eg 6+ weeks. Most people I know have done this (we didn't) and they give a bottle early evening.

Thanks all for your replies - I'll show then to DH when he gets home (he's out for his crack of dawn cycling session) and hopefully they will put his mind at rest about the bonding issue :)

I would prefer to exclusively breast feed but, as mentioned in my OP, I wanted to take his feelings into account too. I've already suggested that he does skin to skin at birth but will mention all the other things he can do ... for instance, I'm sure he used to lay on his Dad's chest in the bath when he was a tiny baby instead of going in the baby bath (have seen photos) and the sling suggestion is really good. Funnily enough, that was the first piece of baby regalia DH bought.

The prospect of tiredness from night feeds really doesn't bother me. To my mind it is just a natural part of having a newborn - as mindalina said, I'd rather just slide him out of his cot than have one of us tramp down to the kitchen and fuss about making formula in the middle of the night.!

Besides, DH will be of no use to me for changing poo-filled nappies if he's sleep deprived :)

Remind DH that he's about to be a Dad and he needs to put the baby's needs before his own, and if BF works for you and the baby then that's the best option. His baby will still love him!

Skin to skin in the bath is lovely, my DH did this with both of ours, apparently that in combination with warm water makes for the bonding hormones, what are they called? The ones you get when bfing? Oxytocin?

Remember the amount of milk you produce is regulated by demand so if you introduce mixed feeding too early it can mess up your supply. And like mindalina my DC saw Mummy as milkbar and Dadddy as fun!

After the first few weeks, we introduced one bottle a day, usually late evening, which DH used to give, Though it was expressed breast milk until 6 months, then formula).

This worked well for us in lots of ways - DH got to see DD in the evenings after work, I got a chance to go to bed early and get a good chunk of sleep in one go, and I had the reassurance that DD would take a bottle in case anything happened that meant I couldn't BF any more (I had quite a few problems including cracked nipples and mastitis etc).

However, personally I wouldn't do this until the third or fourth week or so, as your milk supply is getting established in the first few weeks. plus the nipple confusion issue.

Perhaps you can put your DH in charge of keeping you fed and watered while you are BFing - massively important! - and bringing the baby to/from you for feeds? explain to him that his support in this way is all a vital part of feeding the baby.

It's odd, ebf is proven to be healthiest and best for babies, and you are prepared to do that (it is hard work, but also lovely!) but your DH wants to overrule you and give your baby something less good for them because he wants to have a go at feeding the baby with a bottle?

Expressing is a faff, and if you decide to do that later on so that your DH can give you a break by giving a bottle in the evening then fine if you want a break, but again, you shouldn't be coerced into the hassle of expressing if it's not what you want.

Your DH is being a bit blinkered IMHO. He's thinking about himself rather than your baby, maybe because of nerves about your imminent arrival. As above he can bond in lots of ways and can support you massively if he chooses, even picking baby up in the night and handing him/her to you in the night for a feed, then doing the change and settle after, so you need do nothing more than lie down and feed (do learn this btw, it's a lifesaver being able to feed lying down).

If you want to bf you need to do this exclusively for at least the first 4-6 weeks for supply and establishing. The first 3+ weeks is often very hard, your nipples will hurt, you'll be exhausted in a way you cant yet imagine and you'll be very emotional. Without full support it'll be so easy to give up, which you may later regret and blame your DH for.

You may find expressing easy and can express a bottle in the morning for your DH to give in the evening after 4-6wks, which will help you get a good block of sleep. It's great if they'll take a bottle but not all will. DS took a bottle at 4weeks, then at 6wks he suddenly refused at never took one after that. Dd is 6wks now and looks at bottles with disgust! Don't think there's anything wrong with ff or combi btw but it needs to be your choice or need, not something you're pushed into.

Your DH is vital to you being able to successfully bf. He needs to take over everything else in the day, housework, meals, shopping, provision of drinks, nappy changing..... You need him and he needs to be there for you first and foremost. At 4 wks ish have a think about what you want to do about bottles, by then you'll both understand so much more.

It worked great for us

Mix fed from about 1 week. My milk lasted fine and I dropped the breast at 10 month when he started to get lots of teeth

DH got to feed him, I got a break, worked well with me going back to work early and DS thrived. DS never got confused as he is a greedy little thing.

Win all round for us really but I know it doesn't work for everyone.

I desperately wish I had bottle and breastfed. Friends doing both seem very relaxed, are able to gets break when they need it. If you have anything other than a very easy baby ebf can get very tough and exhausting, in my experience.

It worked great for us. Mixed fed from day 2. I don't think bonding has anything to do with it, but if you find you do want to get a chunk of sleep then it helps to be able to let him give a bottle. You don't have to trek to a cold kitchen. You can get cartons and instant bottles if you're only doing the odd bottle - too expensive otherwise. It was great to just be able to give a bottle if I randomly didn't feel like feeding DD either, or wanted to just nip out for a break for a while and not have to bother with expressing.

The 'Official' advice will always say it can cause nipple confusion and supply problems, what they don't tell you is that lots of people do it without a problem. Of course that will be no comfort to you if you're one of the ones it doesn't work for. I'd say just see how it goes. Personally I bfed for way longer because I was mixed feeding and got more sleep than I ever would have if I'd tried to ebf. BTW I don't get this thing about partners not having to get up in the night because they're working. Babies are as hard if not harder work than lots of jobs! DP and I both did a 6 hour shift overnight at the start and it was a lifesaver.

Sorry for disappearing ? I?ve been painting the bathroom while DH assembles furniture (pregnancy has taken my brains, and the former flat pack queen now struggles to identify an allen key?)

Thanks for all your responses. Just to say that I don?t think DH is being blinkered or trying to coerce me in anyway. He?s going by what he?s been told, and everyone (colleagues and friends) he?s spoken to seem have had quite bad experiences with ebf and he was worried about the effect it would have on me so was trying to find a solution. The bonding thing is just normal impending fatherhood nerves :)

On the other hand I was raised by a single Mum with my two sisters, so am conscious of the fact that I will probably automatically try and take sole ownership of the childcare, if that makes sense. I don?t want to exclude DH.

Anyway we?ve had a bit of a natter and he seems calmed by the responses here, so we?re going to ebf and only look at a combination if things really are as horrific as his ?research? suggests :)

Thanks again! It?s been really helpful to read about everyone?s experiences.

In order to establish breastfeeding it is advised to feed on demand and that can mean every hour or two in the early days. Introducing ff at this point is likely to undermine your efforts to bf. Also for a lot of women, bf takes some getting used to (sore nipples for a while, discomfort when milk comes in etc.) and you really need to be quite determined AND have ideally a supportive partner if you want to make it work. Your DH promoting ff is a bit childish and selfish imo. The fact that he is "getting more vocal about it" seems very interfering to me. Is he carrying the baby? Will he go through labour or give birth? I thought not. Sorry this might sound a bit harsh but he really needs to accept that being a parent is the end of the world as he knows it and a newborn WILL have to come first for quite a while. He might just have to take a backseat for a bit ( as he will when you are in labour). Again sorry for sounding a bit tough on him but he should be proud of you for giving bf your best go. The best thing he can do is to support you. In terms of bonding he can and will bond by holding the baby, letting baby slep on his tummy, changing nappies (which incidentally smell less when ebf) bathing the baby and by simply spending time as a family. You could always add ff later on maybe after a few months and he will still get his share of holding a bottle if he insists.

bit harsh on op's dh there - they've got their first baby on the way and he's being fed horror stories about bf, it's nice that he's looking to protect her from miseries. not his fault he's been given a very negative picture of ebf.

op the best thing you can do is read up together. bf can be a challenge to get established and if you've both read up a bit on the potential pitfalls he'll be in a much better place to support you through any problems you do encounter. im glad he's on side now and hope it goes well for you

What QTPie says. Hand the baby to dp after feeding the baby. Especially during the early days winding can take up to 20 minutes and it will be great to have his help especially during nighttime whilst he is on paternity leave. These early days feel special and a bit otherworldly due to little sleep and a gorgeous new family member anyway and it is lovely to share this as a couple. Fwiw, I just asked DH what made him bond with our DCs during the early days (i ebf both) and he said the fact that they are so defenceless automatically triggers a protective instinct.

Also bare in mind that it is not advised to introduce formula during the first 7 days as this would ireversibly change the gut flora. Even when giving a single formula feed after the first week baby's gut flora will change and it would apparently take up to a month of ebf to restore the healthy gut environment. I know this sound a bit purist and lots of babies strive on ff when ebf is not feasible but I just wanted to give you a couple of lesser known arguments in favour of ebf.

www.thealphaparent.com/2011/07/virgin-gut-note-for-parents.html

If you can, just give it your best shot and do what feels right by you, even if you end up ff it will be fine as long as it is your choice. But try not to let you husband's need for bottle feeding deter you from giving bf a good shot. Try and get him on board because he will be well needed in a great number of ways once the baby is there. Best of luck!!!

Moomin I was determined to EBF however 5 days after the birth I was unwell and forced to mix feed for a week. I tried to express to keep my supply up but it didn't work and my supply dwindled and never recovered. Some people successfully mix feed, others don't, and by 3 months I was producing no milk at all. It took me a long time to get over it, I wouldn't suggest choosing that as an option if breastfeeding is important to you just in case you have a similar experience to me.

I did combine formula and breast milk although it wasn't planned that way. DD was in NICU for the first 24hrs and we didn't get to try breast feeding in that time. When we did, she didn't take to it at all and after 48hrs of her having had virtually nothing to eat, we gave her some formula in a cup. They wouldn't let us go home unless we had established either bf or ff so we had to give her a bottle. I had a hard time waiting for my milk to come in and was expressing breast milk. We hired a double breast pump from the hospital to help with my milk supply and then once it had come in, I had further problems as I had thrush so it was really painful. It was a good 10 - 11 weeks before all the problems were sorted and I had formula on hand the whole time.

In the first week or two, as the mw and hv had been concerned about the rate she was putting weight on, they recommended us feeding every 3 hours. But she very quickly started going longer at night (about 5 hr stretches) so I just started waiting for her cues (which coincidentally were approx every 3 - 4 hrs during the day) There was no real routine at all until after we started weaning so I just tried to express as often as I could. Whenever my mum and dad or mil came round, I'd leave the baby with them and disappear upstairs to express. I'd always start by offering the breast, then expressed milk and finally formula.

DD never had any issue switching between breast and bottle (and she'd had the bottle from 3 days old). She's now just had her 1st birthday and is still bf at bedtime and has had no issues learning how to use a beaker or cup. Maybe some babies do have problems but they're quick learners so they'll get the hang of it - I really wouldn't worry at all. Even if they do have problems, I had a friend whose baby one day refused the breast completely and she spent 3 months expressing milk and feeding him with the bottle. It hasn't affected him long term though - he's at school now and is doing fine. Everything's just a short lived phase. Each baby's different and you need to just go with the flow.

I would definitely recommend a breast pump if you do decide you want to share feeding times with your husband. Then you can have the best of both worlds.

As for DH bonding, although he was quite enthusiastic at first, he was grateful when ebf was sorted as it got him off the hook with night time feeds and, as he went back to work when DD was 3 weeks old, it had been tiring for him. (It was tiring for me too but I could grab a nap when DD was sleeping so it wasn't as bad.) There are plenty of ways DH can bond with the baby - mine played guitar at her and she was fascinated from only a few weeks old.

Just a final thing, if you do have any problems whatsoever, seek out your local lactation specialist. I had amazing support through the hospital and local children's centre. I've heard that some NCT and LLL groups can be quite judgemental but I had nothing but help and understanding as these groups were run by NHS so the people involved were just focussed on making sure the babies were happy and healthy with no other agenda. At the end of the day, there's no point being precious about breast feeding if it means your baby is not getting food inside them. Breast is best, but that doesn't mean formula is bad. It's second best - and that's fine.

Other people have probably said the same thing but what about expressing into a bottle that your DP can feed the baby if he is worried about bonding, and that way you can rest/go out by yourself etc. Yes there are other ways for dad to bond (changing nappies, skin to skin, bathing etc) but if he can feed baby sometimes that frees you up to be able to do other things :)
I combination fed at first (baby was jaundiced so had to top up with formula) but then decided to switch to formula all the time, due to health issues. My DS had no problems having breast, being cup or bottle fed (I know some babies don't like a mixture but dont panic) You will know what works for you and your baby

OP, please take the 'virgin gut' stuff with a pinch of salt or three. There's a reason why the only reference anyone ever posts on it is a link to a blog by a layperson. And when people tell you about mixed feeding affecting their supply, you can see even from some people's stories here that some of the reason for the confusion about it is that most people who mix feed from early on don't do so purely by choice. In most cases either the baby or the mother had problems establishing ebfing from the beginning and that's why they introduced formula, so it becomes chicken or egg as to which came first - the supply problem (or the baby's feeding problem/tongue tie etc.) or the mix feeding. But in the statistics, it looks like a simple causal relationship - formula introduction followed by breastfeeding supply problems. It also doesn't take into account just how much formula is given - cases where the baby was really mostly formula fed from the start (which can definitely cause supply problems for most people) are lumped in with those where 1 bottle a day were given. That's where the advice about mixed feeding causing supply problems comes from. Just take it all with a pinch of salt is what I'm saying. Applies to most parenting advice for that matter!

If you want to ebf do it or you'll regret it. Buy DH a moby wrap if he's worried about bonding