Unpopular dd

[fedupandfifty]

My dd is 11, and an only. She's always been reasonably popular and I have made a big effort with her friends and their parents over the years. Lately, though, her friends don"t seem to be bothering with her as much as they did. She's a nice kid, a bit of a tomboy with a sense of adventure. No-one is picking on her as far as I know, butI feel a bit sorry for her when she is sidelined. Am I overreacting, or is this what kids are like at this age?

Is she unhappy about it? Maybe she is not bothered about popularity as much as being herself, and maybe not conforming. She may have fewer but closer friends. I think if she is ok with it then don't be anxious. If she picks the anxiety up she will get all needy with her peers and that won't help.

Good point. She does seem to have a strong sense of identity, but is sociable too, and craves her friends, especially at weekends and holidays. Other parents seem to form cliques, none of which I belong to, and sometimes I feel that my social ineptitude has isolated dd too. I would also expect that children of this age would be playing out more, and this does't seem to happen much either.

Is your DD a yr 6? In which case she has the prospect of high school and new friend opportunities there. I have an 11 yo DS and his friendships at weekends/school holidays are more and more based on playing out and friends calling round rather than doing stuff organised by parents so I would expect whether you are part of other parents' cliques to have less importance than it would have done a few years ago.