How much time do you spend playing/interacting with your toddler?

[moonmanic]

I ask because I feel guilty that I am not doing enough. I look after my 21 month DD all day and night (am a single mum). We go to a play group once a week (we always go because it needs to be paid for 10 weeks in advance). Occasionally I'll take her to another toddler group during the week and also go to soft play cafes at least once a week. I take her for a walk everyday. I read to her and play with her. And chat to her, explaining what I am doing etc. I do DO stuff with her but there are also periods where I don't really do anything with her i.e. when I'm doing the housework she potters around on her own. Usually in the mornings I take a while to 'wake up' so for the first half hour or so I'm just zonked out on the sofa with my coffee while she watches Cbeebies or plays by herself with her toys. Because I am on my own I often feel utterly exhausted to do stuff with her. I also find myself getting incredibly bored playing with her. I worry I'm not doing enough. I feel this pressure that I should be keeping her constantly entertained or interacting with her or taking her to loads of classes etc.

I'd love some advice :)

Sounds like you are doing a great job!

Sounds totally fine to me. I'm sure I did far less with DS1. I think it's very important for them to sit and do stuff alone as well as being " entertained". Surely they learn lots that way.

No advice, but am completely in the same boat so will be watching the thread :)

I sometimes imagine other mums in their fragrant tidy homes, sitting on the floor doing puzzles and books and constant interaction with absolutely NO Cbeebies on in the background! Not quite what happens in my house :) I will phase in and out of interacting with DS, I have no choice DH is not around for a while and the dishes dont wash themselves!

I think their is alot of pressure to be a "perfect" Mum. Is you DD in clean clothes ? with a clean nappy on? Does she have toys? Is she cuddled and kissed and loved? Does she interact with other kids? Of course. I reassure myself that by leaving my DS to play alone at times I am teaching him a valuable skill.

That sounds absolutely normal, and pretty much like I do with 25mo DS.

I agree with the comments that children need to direct their own play sometimes too and this is a valuable experience for them.

what you are doing sounds good to me. playing with children doesn't come naturally to some people, including me. instead i tend to do a session of housework while DS plays on his own or 'helps' me and then a session of looking at his books together. i find reading together comes more naturally to me than playing or thinking up exciting activities.

from what you say i don't see any reason for you to feel like you aren't doing enough interacting. i think it's important to do things your way rather than worrying about what you think you 'should' be doing. also, i think it's really important for children to explore independently aswell as interacting.

I am totally of the school that kids should be able to entertain themselves and as a result my 3 are all really good at pottering about and playing by themselves.

It sounds like you are doing plenty with your DD so don't be so hard on yourself. I think as long as you make some time everyday to read a few books or play a game together it is fine to leave them to it sometimes.

Sounds like you're doing a great job. At this age/stage it can be helpful to remember 80/20 - that is, 80% of play should be child-led meaning mum can go on mn and 20% of it adult-led (which mostly consists of getting dressed/doing as asked )

Being able to occupy themselves is a brilliantly useful skill to learn. And playing with them can be utterly boring. Don't feel guilty for finding it so! I speak as a sahm to a 20mo, and I take my hat off to all single parents, you are simply amazing.

you do the same as me more or less, there seems to be this idea that you must constantly play with your child but there is nothing wrong with leaving them to play alone. My niece was never left to play alone and now as a 6 year old she needs constant attention and can't play alone for more than 10 mins.

I'm rubbish at playing, so generally I don't!

I also take a while to wake-up, so usually get DS breakfast and then snooze on the sofa while he watches TV.

I usually try to do something every morning - toddler group, softplay, shopping, see a friend, a couple of classes.

Lunch time and he has a nap

In the afternoon we go to the park, see friends, or DS plays in the garden while I do some housework. Sometimes we do some baking or craft.

More TV in the evening, dinner, bed.

I will read stories, set up some playdough or drawing with him, let him do the washing up or "help" me with laundry, but I don't really play.