2 year old climbs out of her cot and into her 1 year old sisters cot, advice please!

[Tinwe]

My 2 year old is quite big and fearless for her age and has been adept at climbing out of her cot for a while, although rarely bothered. We decided the benefits outweighed the negatives, so extra baby proofed the room, left the cot sides on as a deterrent from climbing out and put a mattress next to her cot as a "fall mat".

All was ok until her baby sister started getting older and more fun to play with and now she has started climbing out of hers and into her sister's cot Guessing retrospectively from noises and the scene when we come in, they play nicely for a while then DD1 gets giddy and chases/catches DD2 and squashes her, making her cry and/or breathless which is risky

We're really stuck as to what to do, we've caught her doing both manoeuvres and there's no step ups I can remove or ways to make it harder for her. She strips off to make it easier so using sleeping bags is no help either

I would welcome any advice as to what to do please!

Do they share a room?

When you say she strips off, have you tried putting the grobag on backwards? Some people also put a safety pin across the bottom of the zip although I don't think i'd risk it. Travel cots can be harder to get out of than normal cots, is that worth a try?

Bump

Sorry! Phone was telling me no replies until I bumped. Good idea about the sleeping bag! She's not had one for a while so I'm not sure how she'll take going back to it though. Plus it's a bit hot for one right now. Good idea in general for winter though as we've been given a lot of larger size ones for her

Yup, they share a room- no option for separate rooms...

We could try a travel cot... She's quite strong and flexible though and might be inclined to tip it over?

If she is 2 already you can't baby her into staying put in a cot. All kids grow up and go into a regular escapable bed at some point.

If she can't be trusted not to annoy or endanger her sister she needs to learn not to or have them in separate rooms until then.

I wish we had the luxury of letting them sleep in separate rooms, that's not an option. I understand she needs to learn to sleep in her own bed and fully agree with that - were she in the room alone I would be prepared for the disruption that would cause for a while, letting her roam until she fell asleep etc. My only solution to "teaching her not to" would be to go in every few minutes each night returning her to her own bed, until she learns to stay there, just knowing DD she will love that and enjoy leading us a merry dance. She's already starting to keep us in there at night when bedtime's over... I'm also worried about what might happen if she wakes early (she can be VERY quiet so we can't hear on the monitor)

Get her a big girl bed for starters then leave her to it and remover her from her sister's cot once everyone is asleep.

As soon as a child can escape a cot the safest option is a bed. Ds was in a bed by 18months as he was able to hot foot it over the side of his cot!

Same as the other posters. As soon they can escape they're safer in a proper bed. Getting out if her cot is only going to get more interesting.

Thank you very much everyone for taking the time to reply Really helpful to get other opinions. Seems the consensus is sides off (it's a cot bed).

Actually I was all for taking the sides off when she first leapt out a few months ago but was talked out of it by my husband and family as it was a rare occurrence at that point and to be fair it did continue to work mostly for quite a while after that time. I've never been totally happy knowing she could vault out but in retrospect they were right, she would've done worse at that age if left to roam free (jump off the window sill, climb the other furniture etc never mind her little sister).

If we start tomorrow night we'll have the weekend to do the worst nights (I hope). I think we'll keep a close eye on them both for a few nights for safety's sake but try not to go in and generate too much entertainment!

Thanks again for all the suggestions

Just as a lone dissenting voice, when I moved DD1 out of her cot it was the end of naps. Some DC will learn to stay in their bed with little fuss, and some will mess around so much that by the time you've got them to stay in it's 4pm and far too late for a nap. I am going to keep DD2 in her cot for as long as possible for that reason. I know people who've kept DC in their cot till nearly 3, by which time they're old enough to respond better to instructions! If you did decide to do that, you can get 0.5 tog grobags which are for hot weather.

Out of the cot definitely. Go out with her and buy a duvet set she chooses. Big fuss about it being a big girl bed and her sister isn't old enough like she is.

Sticker chart/choc button rewards for staying in bed.

Remove from sister or again and again...and again!

Your alternative is to get a specially made cot with extra high sides, but really wouldn't recommend it.

Good luck.

I cannot imagine a 3 year old in a cot let alone putting them in gro bags!

Don't call me Steven - no longer a lone voice, I agree re cot and gro-bag. Here, ds1 is tall and 2 1/2, still in cot and gro bag and will be til I'm 100% sure ds2 is safe as they also share a room.

But surely a grow bag is dangerous at that age??? If they attempt to climb out they could badly fall and hurt themselves. I'd rather deal with the discipline side and have them learn to stay in the bed.

I had exactly the same problem with DS and DD at that age. In the end we put DS in a toddler growbag, backwards, if he climbed into DD's cot. He hated it because he couldn't climb, bless him, but he quickly got the message that climbing = growbag and we went back to duvets with no problems after a few days.

Incidentally he didn't want the cot side off as it freaked him out (and wouldn't let me take it off till he was gone 3) but even if he had, I was more worried about DD's safety than DS falling as he has always been a very safe climber.

I would put her into a single bed or toddler bed too. You could try telling her if she wants a cuddle she can come through to your bed, while not ideal it would at least be safer! IME the novelty of this wears off after a very short time and they only come in for a morning cuddle which, again, they grow out of.

TBH, whatever the options re: cot beds etc, I'd put DD2 back into your room for a while. Safer until DD1 learns to stay put/DD2 gets bigger. No?

Just noticed all the new messages, thanks!

Things had appeared to have settled down with a massive "you're a big girl now" push from everyone at every opportunity. "Would you like to wear your beads/sunglasses as you're a BIG girl now, babies like DD2 don't wear those", "are you going to go on your bike and DD2 in her pram because babies go in prams and you're a BIG girl" alongside "sleep well in your BIG girl bed, DD2 will sleep in her BABY cot, because she's a BABY, you won't climb in there will you cos you're a BIG girl, mummy and daddy don't climb into DD2s cot do they?" Etc etc

Worked well, with her staying in her bed and playing there, until tonight...

She's not climbed into her sister's bed but is running havoc around the room and pestering DD2 through the sides of the cot. I suppose it's an improvement

To be fair we haven't yet taken the sides off (despite my views on things) at the request of DH who, as you mentioned above, thinks it will be the end of nap time. The crash mat mattress is still in place and she's not hurting herself as shes discovered how to 'drop and roll'! It's definitely too hot right now for a sleeping bag sadly (we're saving up to replace the postage stamp sized opening window in their room) so after 3 returns to bed in 10 minutes I'm sitting here in the room 'supervising' being as quiet and boring as possible and wishing I'd had chance for tea

Hi Ginger, i see your point but I don't think DD2s cot would fit in our room. She was in a cradle when she shared with us.

Hi Yoni - she can't get into our room as there's a stair gate on the door way as we can't put one on the stair top. She's not figured out there maybe a way over that yet

Hi HPSauce - could try a sticker chart, just not sure she'd understand at her age (only just turned 2). Chocolate maybe but if I give her that at the time won't that just make her even more giddy? Never used charts before you see

Glad to hear it's better! I found it massively stressful so you have my sympathy. a lot at "mummy and daddy don't climb in the cot!"

Amazon do grow bags that are as thin as a single sheet if that helps (though you might be lucky to live somewhere it actually gets hot and that's still too much!)

Your DD sounds just like my DS, hassling his sisters through the cot bars. You can at least console yourself that they will both be able to eventually fall asleep even to the sound of a bomb going off outside as they are so used to noise and distraction

What about a video monitor so you can see what she's up to?

Update: She definitely seems to have stopped climbing into her sister's bed (unless we're watching then she half does it, pauses and looks at us cheekily, obviously teasing ). We repeat the whole "big girl" thing at every opportunity but the sides are still on for now as I'm sure it would mean the end of naps which she definitely benefits from.

Currently the solution is being on pins at bed time and in and out of their room putting her back in bed till she sleeps. If she's very unsettled I sit up there reading (but outside the room so to not entertain) on alert.

Never heard of the thin sleeping bags! Very useful to know, thanks and thanks for the sympathy too Will speak to DH about video monitoring, another good idea but sounds expensive though.