Is it better when THEY do not get involved?

[AngryAndLost]

My question is just that. By THEY i mean DP, DH. We have a baby with jaundice, and while walking in the park on Sun, I wanted to expose him to some direct sunlight (for couple of minutes or so), but my DP categoricaly would not let me do that 'in case i burn him'! Another example- yesterday he decided it was time to give baby a bath. I was BF him at the time, but DP went on and on so much about it that I gave up and handed him the baby. Ended up with hungry and crying (and unwashed) baby back in my arms after 5 minutes, and it took me another hour to settle him down. My DP is really good dad, gets involved, helping as much as he can with DCs after work, but sometimes he gets on my nerves by getting too involved. A I beeing unreasonable?

It sounds like you and your DH are not communicating very well with regards to your parenting. In the examples you give, it seems that you are in conflict as to the best way to parent and are struggling to understand each others viewpoints. Is this something that happens in other areas of your relationship or just in relation to parenting?

For the sake of your child and your own sanity you both need to learn to work together as a team, and shutting him out is not going to help that. If you shut him out of making parenting decisions now, then don't be surprised if in a few years time you are left with all the parenting responsibility and are complaining that he leaves it all to you. There is nothing to be gained by removing a man's responsibility for his own child.

What does he say when you explained why you wanted to do things a certain way? How did you react to his desire to do it differently? Why could you not reach an agreement?

Both being 50/50 equal is the best way forward. My dp is 100% involved hes brilliant doesn't mean we always do things the same way or at the same time so cross words are common. Interrupting a feed to have a bath is ridiculous and not fair to baby. I'm guessing he's only days old so if dh is trying to establish a routine it's a waste of time way way to early for that he needs his milk and your scent as much as possible. On the jaundice I was told to put baby facing a window when indoors to get sunlight.
But yes have to admit our days run more smoothly mon-fri when it's me and the kids. Wkends it gets abit messy !