crying when still

[Kafri]

can anybody offer any pearls of wisdom here please...

DS is 24w. He has settled a lot compared to how he was as a tiny baby (the first 14/15w)

but, he still hates to be still.

For example when we sit down to eat and I put him in his high chair with a bot of toast etc he will barely sit for 2 mins before whining then crying then screaming to be picked up and moved about. He's not happy to be picked up and sat on our knee, he wants walking around...
Same in his Jumperoo, he'll go in it for, literally, minutes before whining to move on to the ned thing. He has no patience whatsoever. He's always been a very whiny baby.

The only time he is happy to be sat still is when he's having a bottle and even then, when you first sit down with him he whines and cries until the teat is in his mouth.

DH and I can't sit and eat or anything and i'm also concerned that he's never going to start to get the hang of food as he won't sit still long enough to eat anything - I know he's only young yet so a way to go with food anyway but he will not sit anywhere.

It's the same if I put him in his bouncy chair while I peg out/fill dishwasher/put wash no etc. If i'm lucky, he'll sit for 2 mins, if not the whining starts immediately.

He hates his pram, but is getting too heavy to carry and he screamed the place down when i've tried him in his new rather expensive Rose & Rebellion!!!

When he was tiny he slept upright on me and DH as he would not lie down at all. He is now on meds and Pepti 1 for reflux so sleeps ok on his tummy but still hates to be put down.
As much as we have had to hold him a lot, I have made a point of always putting him down to make feeds, do jobs etc and I guess I thought he'd get used to it but he just hasn't.

As I write this, DH has just sat on the couch with him and the second his backside touched the couch he started whining - until DH tipped him upside down (In play I might add). As soon as DH brought him back upright he whined again. I just don't get it.

Sorry it's long but I wanted to try to get as much in as possible. Please ask any questions you feel you need to know the answer to as I could really use some guidance here - It's driving me crackers now.

Thanks

Oh I will add...

He got his first 2 teeth at 6m and his top 2 are just peeping through now so this could be adding to things - but this isn't a 'new' behaviour, it's been ongoing since he was born.

bump

That sounds like hard work - I can sympathise, my DS (a bit older, nearly 8 months) is much the same (and has perfected the 'frustrated whinge' noise to go with it!) but is much better now he can sit on his own and not be restricted by sitting 'in' something.

I've also found he can be a lot more patient just sat or laid on a bed/blanket with one or two simple toys - rather than his playmat or jumperoo - so I think he gets overstimulated easily.

My boy is also a rubbish sleeper which I think affects his temperament, so I also find that good naps are essential!

No magic answers I'm afraid but I know how you feel! It's exhausting!

Hi Kafri,

I think sometimes with over active babies that they actually have a lot of stress and tension, that means that they can't seem to stop and relax.

I remember the exhuasted state I used to get into moving around with my daughter every time she cried. Then I learnt something that really helped me. That crying has two functions. The first is to get needs met. The second is that crying is healing. It is the natural way that babies (and adults too) release stress and tension. We all know the feeling we get when we feel good after having a good cry and babies are just the same.

Do you think that one time when you are holding him that you could just sit and listen? Perhaps when you are alone at home you could sit quietly together. Hold him, give him lots of warmth and affection, eye contact. You would probably find that if you just stayed with him, and listened till he got to the end of a cry, then he could express his upset feelings, and would be more relaxed afterwards.

it might be that he doesn't change overnight, but just sitting with him and listening to him cry a few times could start to turn things around, and then he may object less to things such as staying still, being in his buggy etc.
there's a book called the Aware Baby that helped me a lot, also the Hand in Hand parenting website has a lot of good advice about listening to crying.

Well it certainly is exhausting!!!

lovely he's just learning to sit now, still very wobbly but hopefully he'll master it soon.
There is no rhyme or reason to his sleeping. We follow a strict routine with him and I do my utmost to make sure i'm at home for naps - he'll only sleep in his cot with white noise - but naps vary in length and nighttimes have varied since about 4m when he started waking in the night again. Sometimes 11pm, sometimes 12.30, sometimes 5.30. 4.30am features quite regularly with other odd times thrown in there and then some nights he sleeps through to half 6.

cloud i'will give it a go - i'll try anything to be honest. How long should I let him cry for while trying to comfort him???

I know it's early days with weaning and we have plenty of time - but how am I even going to get started properly if he just screams. I'm probably thinking too far ahead with it but it's difficult not to. He's my first so i'm guessing it's a minefield at the best of times but he just seems so much more difficult with the constant grumpiness/whineyness etc

I had one like that! She's 2 now and never stops moving (and is a fairly highly strung type - but cuddly and sweet-natured and bright). It takes time but gradually the world starts to make more sense to them. Dd cried every time the car stopped moving (like at traffic lights) til she was 6 months old, also hated the pram/pushchair until about 11 months... I carried her everywhere in a sling, but even with that I had to be constantly moving to start with or the wailing would start. Give it a go for a bit longer, and keep moving! She used to sit on my knee a lot at the table (still does on a clingy day). She was happier when she could really move about and burn some energy. What saved our sanity was going out to lots of baby groups - the noise and people to watch would distract her for a while. It is maddening, so hard doing anything when it means listening to crying.

Hi Kafri,

I would sit with him as long as you feel like you have the patience to listen to him cry, there's lots of advice on the Hand in Hand Parenting website, about how to listen to crying. Here are a set of new parent podcasts, that have some tips. I know you're not really a new parent anymore, but there is one there called 'Responding well to crying,' which will probably be useful.

They also have a set of booklets for sale in their store which has information about crying, and how best to respond to it.

RE the weaning, are you going to do purees or babyled weaning? If the highchair is the problem, then you could sit him on your lap for the first few weeks. You may find that if he releases some of his feelings through crying, he might be happier to sit in his chair, and just more relaxed and chilled in general!!