Is it normal to feel like this?

[ladypop]

We have a 6 wk old DS and 3 yr old DS too. I think our eldest is brilliant and love him dearly buy I am currently finding him really irritating and find myself losing my patience very easily with him since or baby came along. I am enjoying the newborn much more than our first and love spending one to one time with him, but find the days I have them both so tiring and stressful that I am resenting our eldest a bit at the mo. I am really trying to spend what quality time I can with our eldest but tbh don't have much mental or physical energy left for him! He loves the baby but even his over zealous behaviour towards him irritates me! I know it is to do with the newness of having 2 and I think because I had pnd with our first I am just so pleased it feels different this time I am just trying to enjoy the baby stage whilst it lasts! X

Hello. Have no experience but have a 8 wk old DD. The first few weeks are so hard, can't imagine how it must be with another little one.

Normal is over a huge range and you are still recovering from the birth- hormones all over the place.

You are probably just thrilled that it feels so different from the last time, but also I guess it won't be like the last time as you have another little person to factor in to everything. You can't go on previous experiences I guess as each newborn will be different, but also the stuff around you (family, other children, perhaps a house move etc) will also be different. Sounds like you are just having a massive adjustment. Hope it helps.

Doing the newborn stage with another little one- I think you must have special skills. Hope this helps, just didn't like to see this unanswered

Thank you :)

Yes it is very normal. Don't panic, I think you're at exactly the hardest stage right now and everything will start to get easier soon.

But try not to see your eldest as a giant grown up creature, remember what a baby he still is really. I have a friend who found this so difficult that she found herself beginning to reject her older child. So she brought him into her bed and had lots of skin to skin time with him, just like you would when bonding with a newborn. She said it really helped.

And if nothing else, I really believe in 'fake it till you make it' - act as though your eldest is being adorable, and pretty soon in my experience you'll begin to feel it.

Hang in there!

Yes very normal. I have a 7mo dd and 4.5yo ds. I find myself snapping at poor ds more than I should, when I am just all out of energy. And small children are constantly "at" you, asking questions and wanting you to play. When you're tired and non-stop busy it gets a bit much. Try to make a bit of time for just you and your older ds, when the baby is napping perhaps or when your oh is there, so you have some quality fun time together instead of the constant demands for play and attention sapping your patience all the time.

I was exactly like this, same ages as you too, I felt really guilty and tired to remember that dd is still just a baby too. But I felt so irritated by him and so snappy and yet he was he perfect bug brother and adores his sister.
I get him to help a lot, fetching things and nappy changing and as soon as dd goes for her morning nap we do something special just us. The might be baking or drawing or a workbook and he really looks forward to it.
He also likes to be given jobs to do like when I am doing the bathrooms he empties the bins and fetches new loo rolls.
We also try to have some mummy and ds time, whether it be just nipping to feed our ducks together or playing on the trampoline or going to asda.
Bear in mind tho that you are right at the start of all this, your baby is still so tiny so for now cebeebies might have to be your ally or invite his friend round for a play so you can snuggle baby.
Dh will have to step it up with him too. Mine did, taking him out a lot in the early days to give me a break.
It does get better, mine are 1 and 4 now and they both feel like my babies.

Yes, normal.

My DC2 is now almost 2yo and I am getting better at making 1:1 time with DC1 now. Not so easy now she's at school, but we plan things, have special days out, or just go to the playground for half an hour after school once a week.