How do you make a child less shy and more confident?

[MickeyMouseHasGrownUpACow]

Dd1 is a happy sunny child who is always smiling and has a lovely gentle, kind nature. She's very outgoing with people she knows and never shuts up!!

However she is very shy of new people and say if she goes to a friend's house she is silent or monosyllabic to the parents or siblings
It takes a very long time for her to be usual self.

DH and I were both shy children and so I understand how she feels and we've never made an issue out of it, other than to reassure her that there's no need to feel shy etc.

Its not a huge issue but I know my path through life would have been much less tricky and awkward had I felt more confident and self-assured so I'd love any tips as to how we can help her.

Sorry that's a dreadful thread title. I mean 'help a child to become less shy' not 'make'

Hmm see I don't think they are mutually exclusive.

My two boys are both shy butconfident, and I see nothing wrong with that and I would say that is how you are describing your dd. or not?

Do you mean you want her to be more outgoing?

That's such a good point. Maybe she is confident. Is there a way to help here feel more at ease with new people?

My two year old dd was painfully shy but I have been persistent in taking her to toddler groups, park, soft play regularly and the change is very noticeable, she is much much better with new people and in new situations. I used to dread it as I knew she would cry, cover up her face and cling to me but now she will go off and play and talk to new people without any problem at all.

I am a big fan of martial arts (find a club that is fun first and foremost). MA teaches them to cope with confrontation and strong feelings from others.

How old is she?

I've spent a few years disagreeing with ds1's teacher about his so called lack of confidence and slowly she is coming round to my way of thinking.

My boys (dd is opposite!) are softly spoken, polite, gentle and sensitive. The are natural introverts and are most comfortable in familiar surroundings with people they know. Up until now, the teacher has struggled to get him louder, more outgoing and chatty to random people but that just isn't him! What's wrong with being quieter? Wouldn't it be hell if everyone was loud and outgoing?

The skills she needs are assertiveness, manners, good listening skills and empathy and she'll be great as a quiet person.

I agree about martial arts. My son was very shy with new people and avoided talking to people he did not know. He joined a martial arts club and it has truly transformed his confidence! He is a different child.

Narkynamechanger - I agree with your point about there being nothing wrong with being quieter. Many of my favourite people are quieter, introspective types. There really is a place in the world for people of that type of nature.
Thanks for the martial arts tips. I will look into that.
Dd1 is 6. She has lots of friends and as I said earlier she really is a ray of sunshine and joy. Maybe I'm worrying about nothing! Wouldn't be the first time (or indeed do I think it will be the last)

How about a dancing, stage school, singing, drama or musical theatre type of club?

a happy sunny child who is always smiling and has a lovely gentle, kind nature. She's very outgoing with people she knows and never shuts up!!

MIckey you have nothing to worry about from the sound of it. From my experience most children are shyer with strangers, perfectly natural. It's impossible to 'make' a child talk and be outgoing in my experience.
Just let her lovely nature take it's own course, is my advice. And well said Narky, sound advice as my DC's are similar.

Thank you Sensesworkingovertime (great lyric name!!). that's good advice. I would hate her to think we're trying to change her as she's great the way she is.
'just let her lovely nature take its own course' is sound advice.
Many thanks