Post natal depression like this?

[soontobeafirsttimemom]

I am wondering if anyone has had PND like this....

I am exhausted, I want to cry most days at least twice/three times a day, some days it feels like I almost have a knot in my throat but I don't know why, I can't seem to concentrate on anything. I can't seem to shake a feeling that something is going to happen to my husband or my son, I hate the way I look but I can't seem to stop eating really unhealthy food and I do it secretly.
However I have good days but even then its like a cloud is hanging over.

Reading that back it screams of depression, I don't really know what to do our doctors are very unhelpful, they have already screwed up a lot of stuff since I had him. I want to crawl into ball just me, my husband and my son and stay safe and happy

I don't know what to do or say, I don't know what I expect from writing it on here

Sorry if that didn't make much sense I'm very tired and typing on my phone while feeding

What age is your DS?

Is your DH a support to you? Do you have other family/friends support around?

If your GP is useless you can ask to see another one at the clinic (perhaps even ask for a female one) or go to your HV for advice first.

I don't think I've had PND, but I know the lack of sleeping, constant breastfeeding, mix of hormones etc after having both my children left me feeling crap, fat, etc etc lots of the things you mention.

I don't know a great deal about PND, but there have been lots of threads about it on Mumsnet over the years. My advice is to do a MN search and read others experiences.

Congrats on your little one.

Are you getting any sleep ? My gp advised my to somehow try to get a minimum 4 hours stretch uninterrupted sleep at least once a week (my dh took ds to his mums for a night) and it made such a huge difference - I was exactly like you describe in early weeks.

Now ds 5 months things are so much better I haven't had a 'weepy' day in about a month :)

Whether PND or not, it sounds like you need a little support at the moment. How old is DS?

I agree with Needles - can you see a different GP, or a HV? Just to talk things through.

Hope things improve soon - I too found a 4 hr chunk of sleep the magic refreshing time.

You could have pnd, you could just be an exhausted new mum. You really need some support.

The Edinburgh postnatal depression score may be useful to you, the second page explains what the result means. If you do score highly it may be useful to take it with you to your gp and then ask for referral to the mental health team.

Fwiw I felt much like that after the birth of my first, but for me it was just exhaustion and lack of support.

Hope you get some help soon.