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Parenting

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'My sister bought this book for her pansy son...'

44 replies

dreamwriter · 01/06/2013 21:48

This is the first line of a reader review of one of my children's books on bullying. The reviewer goes on to say that bullied children are losers who ought to smoke and drink in order to get in with the popular kids. amazon are refusing to take this 'review' down, saying it is neither offensive nor inappropriate. I think their attitude is disgraceful and irresponsible. Please check it out and, if you agree, click 'report as abuse' and then 'report as inappropriate' Thank you so much :) www.amazon.co.uk/review/R21JV40PZC5B9M/ref=cm_cr_pr_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0340911840&linkCode=&nodeID=&tag=#wasThisHelpful

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DizzyPurple · 01/06/2013 21:55

Done! I agree, very rude although the comments written in response to the review are quite interesting!

FullOfChoc · 01/06/2013 22:11

done.

dreamwriter · 01/06/2013 22:13

Thank you, DizzyPurple. I'm gobsmacked that amazon don't see anything wrong with this review - and on a page for a children's book, which children will certainly be viewing. But I've spoken to three separate content supervisors and they've closed the file, so I think the only way they're going to understand that it is offensive is if enough people complain. I'm surprised their guidelines forbid racist remarks but don't include anything about homophobia - but I can't find where or how to open a discussion with them about that either. Frustrating.

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dreamwriter · 01/06/2013 22:14

Thank you FullOfChoc - much appreciated :)

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Movingtimes · 01/06/2013 22:14

Have you read his other reviews? I think it is entirely tongue in cheek. See, he has reviewed some clothes hangers here.

Movingtimes · 01/06/2013 22:16

Also, inflatable horse

LalyRawr · 01/06/2013 22:16

Done.

Also, I love you a little bit. My sister is a teacher and has this in her classroom. She says its the best book she ever bought.

Movingtimes · 01/06/2013 22:19

Uh guys. It's a joke.

dreamwriter · 01/06/2013 22:19

Yes, I have, Movingtimes - but it doesn't make any difference. Saying offensive things in a 'humorous' way doesn't make them acceptable - it's what school bullies often do - it's the basis of most teasing. I think we should be very clear on this, if we are to give children clear guidelines on what is acceptable behaviour.

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dreamwriter · 01/06/2013 22:20

LalyRawr - I love you too! Thank you for telling me this - it's made my day :)

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Movingtimes · 01/06/2013 22:22
LalyRawr · 01/06/2013 22:22

How does a kid who happens to be reading the reviews know its a joke MovingTimes?

Do you think they will then search for every review by this guy and deduce he is 'ironic'?

Or do you think it will be more likely they will just shut the browser, not buy the book and carry on without help?

I love the idea that you can be a complete cunt then say 'just kidding!' and everything be okay.

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou · 01/06/2013 22:24

I have that book. Ironically the thing it helped with was getting ds to stop trying to hang around with the cool kids who have the 7yo equivalent of alcohol and smoking wives but to make friends with nice kids that he has something in common with.

Movingtimes · 01/06/2013 22:28

Lady, I can guarantee you that if I showed my 10 year old that review she would realise it was a joke. It is very different, imo, to the sort of passive-aggressive 'just kidding' that you are referring to - it is clearly intended to be so over the top that you can't miss the joke. Or shouldn't be able to anyway.

dreamwriter · 01/06/2013 22:28

In a nutshell, LalyRawr! And yay, IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou!

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dreamwriter · 01/06/2013 22:30

So Movingtimes - the term 'pansy' - acceptable in this context? Funny? Something we should want kids to think is funny and acceptable? Switch in some racist terms - are they OK too?

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SisterMonicaJoan · 01/06/2013 22:31

Done.

Doesn't matter it is probably a joke.

If this is "his" humour, then it's not funny in this context.

LalyRawr · 01/06/2013 22:33

So because YOUR 10 year old can catch irony/sarcasm, it holds that ALL 10year old can?

Look, I get what you're saying but there is a time and a place for 'funny' reviews. A child's book on how to deal with bullying isn't it. If a child has reached that point, they are already vulnerable. They are already being bullied and feeling like shit.

Reviews like that are neither funny nor helpful.

SanityClause · 01/06/2013 22:37

I have reported it, as well.

I have bought that book for one of my DDs and recommended it to other people.

We were discussing a situation today, in fact, and she just thought she'd re-read a relevant bit.

I was bullied at school, and it's really hard to help your DC when it happens to them, because i don't really have any answers for them.

omletta · 01/06/2013 22:37

My 10 yo would not take that as a joke.

Homophobia isn't funny, ever.

FullOfChoc · 01/06/2013 22:38

We have this book too and it's very good, opens up a discussion and very well written for a child to read.

Smudging · 01/06/2013 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou · 01/06/2013 22:41

My son wouldn't have understood that as a joke at all. Lots of bullied dcs wouldn't. They spend so much time with people who take the piss and use 'I was only kidding' as a get out that they lose the ability to read social signals and struggle to trust their own judgement as to what is broadly considered to be humorous. It's nowhere near funny enough for it to be obviously funny, especially to a child and a child who has social problems too. Plus there is that underlying truism that people who get walked over (like them) are failures and unless they change everything they are, they will always be failures.

dreamwriter · 01/06/2013 22:42

Thank you SisterMonicaJoan. And you know, LalyRawr, that's the point exactly. This review is not the same as the reviewer's other efforts at humour because it includes abusive content about vulnerable children and gay people. It takes exactly the same kind of attitude as the playground bullies my readers are having to cope with, day after day. That's why I'm so incensed amazon can't see anything wrong with it.

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QuintessentialOldDear · 01/06/2013 22:42

The joke is accompanied by only ONE star, so highly unfunny for the author, I would say.