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Feeling low

2 replies

Feedupandstruggling · 31/05/2013 08:09

Namechanged. I have utterly utterly had enough. I don't know if this is depression or I am fed up but I just don't know if I can take it anymore. I am a shit mother - I am aggressive and awful because I am just so bloody tired. DH and I just seem to argue over who is more knackered all the time. DD1 is at nursery two days which helps, but her behaviour the rest of the time is just awful. Tantrums, fighting. I look round and see other perfectly behaved three year olds and wander why me. No one else seems to struggle this much. DS is 8 months and has turned from a fantastic sleeper into a nightmare. He was ill about 8 weeks ago and it is just constant streaming nose, coughs etc, I think it's teeth but the docs just say he is struggling to shift virus. Sleep wise he is up between 2-4 times a night and is impossible to settle without milk. Getting milk and food into him during day is constant battle and he just grizzles all the time. DD1 is waking earlier and earlier - 5.15 this morning, won't stay in her room without tantrumming and waking DS - gro clock and blackout blinds not working. As a result I am snappy and rough with her and I am just not the mother I want to be. I don't smack but I am rough and shout. I don't know why I am posting this I just need to get it down. I feel like such a failure - I read a thread earlier in the week about enjoying them when they are small - I am not enjoying anything and dread to think how they are missing out.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Tee2072 · 31/05/2013 08:11

You might have PND. Go to your doctor.

And I don't know a single well behaved 3 year old. You're seeing a moment in time when they are behaving well. Trust me, it's not all the time.

But seriously, go to your GP.

Also, stop competing with your husband in the who is more tired game. Your both tired.

okthen · 31/05/2013 09:07

I have a 3yo and a 6mo.

I have never worked so hard in my life (and my job pre-mat leave was pretty relentless). I think this a tough time: their routines are completely different, they are both changing all the time. They both want a piece of me all the time for different reasons (understandably). And yes, I think the Threes are harder than the Twos- because they are cleverer now!

I don't have much advice I'm afraid, as I am struggling too. But just wanted to say you are not a shit mum- everyone I know with a baby and a 3yo is finding it hard. These friends are my saviour at the moment- do you have friends locally who can sympathise over cups of tea while the kids play?

Would also advise seeing gp though, as your low self esteem about it all does seem a little like you may be depressed.

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