Not my finest evening

[Ozziegirly]

Feel really awful and tearful after a shit evening. Was trying to put the baby to bed, and it was taking ages. Finally he had dropped off and took DS1 to the bathroom for his shower and he screamed JUST outside DS2s door.

Bundled him into the bathroom and got him into the shower, a bit more roughly than I would like.

Then he kept screaming at me - he's been doing this a bit recently, and keeps screaming in DS2s face.

So I screamed in his face.

He crumpled and burst into tears.

I said sorry and said that this was what it felt like to DS2 and me when he screams at us.

He was totally subdued through bedtime and then cried again in a really sad way when I cuddled him and said he didn't like it when I screamed.

Feel totally awful.

Well he probably won't do it again, will he?

You're only human, op. we all have limits and we don't always behave exactly as we should.

Your ds might have learned your limits now.

I just keep thinking about him as a tiny newborn and how I could never imagine being so cross and frustrated that I would scream at him.

Need to get a bit of a grip, this won't damage him when I'm not normally shouty.

Hands OP a grip :)

It was a crappy thing to do

I have done the same thing :(

DD is fine and happy :)

The stupid thing is, I was feeling stressed that I couldn't get DS2 to sleep as it was cutting into my evening with DS1 and then I ruin the evening anyway.

Right, going to bed.

Tomorrow is a new and jolly day. No screaming.

Oh that situation sounds familiar. I also feel like I constantly ruin time with ds1 as I'm hissing furiously at him "SHHHHHH!!" to try not to wake up dd2. Then probably my frustrated "shhhhhh"ing is what wakes her up... Lots of mumsnetters have posted about the 'red mist' that descends when lo's truly push you to your limits. Obviously the ideal is to remove yourself from the room to calm down, but when you can't do that just try to take a deep breath and remind yourself that they'll be in bed soon / you can pour a great fat glass of wine shortly / they'll soon be at university and leaving home. Don't beat yourself up, we've all yelled and made them cry, and felt like a complete heel and the worst parent in the world. So long as you don't do it all the time, it won't damage him. And yes, he might think twice about the screaming in faces from now on! Hope tomorrow is better! x

we all have these days & I don't think it hurts our DC to occasionally see that we have feeling and limits too!

You will ALL feel better tomorrow. You have all had a stressful shock.

god yes, I've done similar and felt absolutely awful about it, but sometimes they push you to the limit. It's a horrible feeling losing control like that, but it happens to the best of us.