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Parenting

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Original poster

Controlled crying

6 replies

MrsSmith1642 · 28/05/2013 21:24

Help please :-(

My 17 month old son has stopped going to bed he screams and screams wanting me to go with him. I'm trying controlled crying but I find it stressful as I am doing this on my own (husband in the army). What are people experience? I'm scarred I will damage my son doing this :-(

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FannyFifer · 28/05/2013 21:26

Would you just stay beside him till he falls asleep.

AmandaPayneNeedsANap · 28/05/2013 21:29

Did he previously go to bed ok?

If it's a sudden regression I'm not sure that CC is likely to get the best results. That's more about teaching a child who doesn't know how to go to sleep on their own how to do so. If it's a sudden change, have there been changes in your lives - has his dad recently been deployed?

Smartiepants79 · 28/05/2013 21:36

Have you read this
www.mumsnet.com/toddlers/sleep-problems
Personally I don't believe you will 'damage' your son however there are plenty of others here who will tell you that controlled crying is the work of the devil. It is very controversial.
If you are going to do I think you have to commit to it no matte how hard it is.
I believe that once the problem is solved your son will have forgotten what happened within a couples of weeks.
I am a fan of the rapid return technique and it works for us.
My DD is not traumatised.
There are other options but they are not quick fixes.

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Lala29 · 28/05/2013 21:59

We have done CC at a much earlier age and I am a big advocate. However, if your son was fine with bed time and suddenly isn't, I would try to find out what changed/what's wrong. We had this a couple of months ago where DD (around 16 months at the time) had an absolute fit at bed times and nap times. I was at the end of my tether, as she has always loved bed time. Found out in the end that she suddenly decided to be scared by the radiator coming on noise (that knocking sound). She was absolutely petrified!

So if its a sudden change, try to work out what's different and hopefully eliminate it. Good luck. I found those couple of weeks really traumatic, so definitely sympathise.

AmandaPayneNeedsANap · 28/05/2013 22:32

Totally agree LaLa. Personally I'm not a massive CC fan, but I recognise it works for some people. It's the fact that the OP implies that her son used to sleep ok that I think means it is probably not the best plan. Imagine if your DD had been responded to for her genuine fear by CC - first it would be pretty upsetting for her, but second it wouldn't be likely to be fixed in a few days like CC so it would have been horrid for you.

PipPipPip · 07/06/2013 23:06

Worked for us, but it did take stamina and teamwork - not sure if I could have done it by myself.

However, having a kid who could get off to sleep well and sleep through made it worth it!

The phrase "controlled crying" makes it sounds really bad, though. We didn't leave our daughter crying for longer than about 120 seconds, and I think calling it 'rapid return' or 'settle, leave, return' makes it sound much nicer!!

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