Would You pierce Your Babies Ears?

[jellybrain]

There was a phone in on Radio 2 at lunchtime asking the above question. A woman had been in a shop and seen a parent holding down a clearly terrified child (6 months or so) who was having her ears pierced, she was quite justifiably horrified. Those in favour argued their babies looked cute. One woman said her daughter had very little hair and people mistook her for a boy (she had ears pierced at 2) er whats wrong with a dress, something pink or just girls clothes if you're that concerned?
As you can probably guess I am against it babies and toddlers can't give their consent. It made me mad to hear parents saying that their dds looked cute or really pretty . Yes babies are cute but, they aren't fashion accessories . Of course there is a safety risk too.
Ok rant done over to you lot now.

But there are lots of cultural traditions and practices which are still done but nobody understands the true reasons behind aren't there?

Some of the practices around Easter and lent for eg I bet some don't understand all the implications.

Sorry not looking for a ruck either, just think all cultures forget why some things are done.

but then callisto we are back to giving the child a choice.

you all seem to give your children lots of choices. i tell mine what to do.

I wouldn't pierce my babies ears because it wouldn't occur to me to do it, but I don't think there is anything that wrong with it either.
The pain is momentary, the risk of infection tiny & for some families it has a cultural significance.
Definitely not something to get knickers in a twist about.

indeedy

well, for instance, many Indian women wear a red "dot" or bindi on their foreheads. Originally, they wore that as a mark of their married status, and my mother in law still believes that if she doesn't put on her bindi every day her husband might die! I don't believe that at all, but sometimes wear the bindi in India because I think it looks pretty, and it is the done thing for a married woman. I imagine many British people see that and think "God, she looks weird!" But aesthetic standards vary so much from culture to culture.

ok, now I really am going to leave.

I used to have to pierce ears when I had a Saturday job in a jewellery shop. With babies, we had to do it in twos, so the holes were done at the same time, otherwise the baby screamed and wriggled so much that it was impossible to do the other one. It really does hurt them.

I had mine done at 9, when I made my own decision.

I do what I think is best for my 13 month old which doesn't include forcing her into a situation of which she has no comprehension and inflicting pain on her for no other reason than she will look 'cute'.

Callisto, no one is saying you should pierce your daughter's ears.

As Poppadom said, some cultures would see the fact that we don't co-sleep as cruel & even abusive. In the great scheme of things the momentary pain caused by ear piercing is not a big issue.

By that argument, you could justify giving your child a quick slap.

I have had many an argument with my sister about this...her dd is 9 months and she wants to get them done..whole family has put her off for time being.

i smack and don't need anyones approval or not

i didnt pierce ears until aged 8

I do too custardo, but I feel that it has a purpose. I am not sure what purpose piercing ears has as I don't think it looks pretty.

But don't get me wrong, I am not criticising you or anyone. It is just not something I would do to my children. Before I had them, I made up my mind my children could have their ears pierced the minute they wanted it and could accept the pain involved.

I am anti-smacking DG & do not see it in the same bracket as ear piercing at all. A child's ears are pierced once & it is a momentary pain, unlikely to be repeated. One smack in an entire lifetime would probably not be harmful or indicate poor parenting - but I think a whole childhood of smacks is an entirely different argument. In the same way, one can of coke is ok, but giving kids coke every day probably isn't. Don't really think that it is the same argument, tbh.

Bugsy, I don't smack every day or even every month. Like Custardo, I don't need anyone's approval for my parenting methods. And I do see needless infliction of pain as cruel, be it ear piercing or smacking. I am just owning up to one and announcing I don't do the other.

Not having a go DG, I was just saying I didn't think your suggestion that my argument about one moment of momentary pain & smacking were the same thing.
I personally believe that smacking is inflicting unnecessary pain - but there you go, a whole different argument altogether!

Hey, are we on to smacking now too!

I don't see why people can't just live and let live. Why resort to snooty bitching about chavs? My dd had her ears pierced when still v small, dp is a web developer for a well known company and I am a third year law student. We are NOT chavs!

stg, my dp is hindu, and he also does not know the reasons for many of his cultural traditions. It frustrates me, as it is in my nature to ask why all the time, and try to understand the reasons. He simply doesn't think about it, just accepts without questioning. He has no interest in the reasons why. I think it is partly a matter of respect, he simply accepted what he was told by his elders. I have to go elsewhere to get my answers.

I won't let DD have her ears peirced because she is far too beautiful for her own good without any adornments and as she is an avid scab picker I am sure that she wouldn't leave them alone and they would probably get infected and her lobes would probably fall off!!

As for the cultural thing I don't really ever think oh its ok they're asian or black I just think YUCKY poor little chav baby!!!!

Mind you there is a lovely mum up the school who has the most beautiful DD and I am sure thinking about it that she has her ears pierced and I know that she isn't a chav - god am going to have to rethink my prejudices now!!!!!

I actually hate little boys with mullets and pierced ears soooo much more than little girls with pierced ears though - think you should be flogged in public for shaving your kids head and just leaving it with a fringe or just a ponytail and then sticking a big ol elizabeth duke fake diamante in its ear!!!!

I wouldn't no, mainly because I think she/they would pull them out and cause all sorts of bother.

It does look common but I am a former council estate queen so pot/kettle etc.

I have only skimmed the thread but am a bit peeved at 'ok for asian/black but chavvy for anyone else' line, er, if you said that the other way round as an insult on here you would get JUMPED ON FROM A GREAT HEIGHT.

OO, I'm not sure anyone is actively saying that are they? They're just saying that that seems to be the prevailing attitude, and questioning why.

I love the idea that if you don't wear your bindi your husband would die. If only that were true, imagine the power Indian women would have...

Is it the bindi, I thought it was the sindoor, the red powder in the hair parting worn by married women..???? Single gals wear bindis too.

Single - black bindi
Married - red bindi

No I wouldn't have my DDs ears pierced until they are old enough to tell me they want them done and they understand it will hurt and they can also look after them.

At the toddler group I go to a lot of toddlers have them done and a few weeks ago one little girl who is about 13-14 months just starting to walk had pulled hers a bit and it had got infected and her Mum was debating whether to take the earring out felt so sorry for the little girl having a scabby, weeping ear.

Personally I wouldn't pierce my child's ears.