Going back to work - what I need to do/know...

[mumtosp]

Hi all,

I have decided to go back to work part time (4 days a week) in the beginning of August when DS will be almost 10 mo. Childcare is sorted - my parents will be looking after him for the first few months (after that it'll be a childminder)
I have just over 2 months to get everything sorted - but I have no idea what I need to sort out !!??

Here are some questions...

1. DS has a pretty good nap schedule during the day, but needs to feed to sleep - I need to break this habit right? Or else how will be nap when I'm at work...

2. He has 3 meals a day (sometimes 2) but still feeds on demand atleast 4-5 times a day (including feeding for nap times) - should I start offering more solids and bring down the feeds to twice a day (morning and bedtime) ??

3. If he still needs to feed during the day, should I start building up a store of breast milk in the freezer? Should I be pumping at work ?

4. Even though he is good with his day time naps, he isn't sleeping through the night :( Sometimes he up every 2 hours for a feed. I need to sleep train him right?? I can't see myself going to work if I don't have a good night's sleep. Also, we co-sleep... so I guess I should move him to a cot before I go back?

5. And finally, any tips on how I can manage work and house??!! DH is very helpful but also has a very demanding job. I used to have a very demanding job and I won't be surprised if I am expected to do the same amount of work even though I'll be working only 4 days.... I am worried about how I'll manage everything :(

Sorry this has been a bit long... but now that I have written it all down it is starting to really stress me out.... so all advice is welcome :)
Thanks !!

It is hard, really hard to leave them and to realise that you won't see them in the day. I had never realised before I had DS that people actually missed their children when they were at work!!

I've done a term at work and DS is now 15mo and it has got much easier. Prepare yourself for good and bad days and be kind to yourself. DS goes to bed at 6.30 so I hardly see him on my work days, and it's tough, but I need to work so I have to get on with it.

Glad my very detailed lists of schedules/routines were useful! Hope return to work goes well x

It sounds like you're getting there. The only advice I'd add is to make sure you have complete confidance in your carer (be it GPs or CM). If you're confidant that they can deal with an upset baby appropriately and calmly then it doesn't matter if you're ds is teething/tired etc, you know he'll be ok.

Also think about back up childcare, eg if your CM is ill can the GPs take over at short notice? Will the CM take your ds if he's ill with something infectious?

We try to batch cook for ds at weekends but to be honest we don't sweat it, she eats fantastic, fresh, healthy food at nursery 4 days a week. If she eats pasta/ready made fresh soups/falafels/fish fingers etc with us for a couple of days it isn't the end of the world.

Whilst the GPs are around could they do the odd chore/batch cooking for ds?

Be realistic about the chores that are essential and the ones that don't need to be done weekly. You'll want to spend your weekends with ds not doing housework.

And look on going back to work as something outside of motherhood that you have for yourself. You might even get to go out for lunch or do a bit of shopping :)

There has been lots of great advice already OP, but I just wanted to say that your LO will settle and it will get much, much easier. It is hard and I was also praying for a lottery win when facing going back to work after DS1! Young children are extremely adaptable and often have their own routine with their carer which is very different from what happens with you at home.

Lastly, instead of focussing on the negatives about you working try to focus on the positives. For me it was providing more financial security for my family. For example, DH being the sole wage earner was worrying in the dodgy financial climate and having 2 wages coming in gave us peace of mind, apart from the fact we actually needed 2 wages coming in day to day. If I felt wobbly I would remind myself that I was doing it for a reason and in the coming years would still have my career to fall back on and be able to save for my DC's education which wouldn't be possible for us on 1 wage.

Good luck OP, I'm sure you and your LO will be fine!

Thanks all :)

Tailtwister for wanting to lottery. I still have hopes - if I win this Friday, I won't have to start work from this coming Monday

You'll be fine at work,just don't do the mummy guilt,or fretting
Compartmentalise
And it's good to keep hand in career,something for you not only being mum

So the first 2 days have gone well and DS is great with the GPs... :)

A few questions...

1. How do you cope with running late - the trains were completely screwed this evening...
2. What time do you actually get to bed !?!

The trains are my biggest fear, DP and I both work in London and live outside, so the train line breaking is our nightmare. That's one of the main reasons we went with a CM and were honest about the possibility of this happening. One of the grandparents could get to the CM in about an hour and a half, and if DD gets knackered before then, then the CM will just put her to bed. It's annoying, though, when you know it is eating into your time with DC, but I think you've just had bad luck with it happening in your first week - it has only happened a handful of times in the year I've been back at work.

Bed at 10! It doesn't leave a huge amount of time in the evening, but you need to give yourself time to get into a routine. DD is bed 7.30-8, then I do at the most 30 mins of housework or organising, which includes getting everything ready for the next day. Then dinner, an hour of telly, bed at 10

It's a big gain at the weekend if you can do more housework on a weekday evening, but not to the point of passing out. Just work out what needs doing and who is best to do it to maximise your time. But honestly, most nights you can really get by with just getting the clothes ready and making sure the kitchen is passable!