bloody hard work

[Kafri]

DS now 5m is just sooooo hard to keep happy.

He was really hard work and screamed a lot in his first 3 months but I thought he had started to settle...

Apparently not!

Today, for example, he woke at 5.30 and had a feed then took ages to settle again. Woke up at 8 and was immediately whiny on going in hos room to get him.

He had his next feed at half 8 and by half 9 was whiny and tired so I put him down for a nap - cue SCREAMING. settled for a nap of 20 mins before was wide awake and screaming again.

Decided to get him up and take him out to a bumps and babies group that we don't normally go to but I needed to get out the house. Was just about ok while put but was consistently grumbling.
After B&B I drove into town to post a few parcels and grab tonight's supper before coming home. Cue SCREAMING in the pram until he eventually fell asleep - fell asleep as I was due back at the car (ticket up) so of course woke up as I put him back in the car. SCREAMED in the car all the way home and screamed when we came into the house (had to pop him down while I brought the bag of shopping in)
Is currently screaming in his cot while I grab 5 mins to regroup my thoughts and throw a sandwich down my neck!

Please can someone tell me what i'm doing wrong cos his screaming constantly is driving me potty. He is just ALWAYS unhappy.

I took him to the docs yesterday to eliminate illness as a cause of his screaming returning and they could find nothing wrong. There is the possibility of him getting his next 2 teeth (got his first 2 early) and have been giving him calpol but nothing stops the screaming, it's constant again. And in the short periods he's not screaming, he's wobbling and it's constant effort to try and stop him tipping over to screaming again.

Well, that's my five minutes up, better go and get my little darling

Please help, i'm struggling with his constant state of upset

Hi Kafri

It will get better. I promise.

DD turned a corner at 7 months.

Hang on in there.

when he was tiny people kept saying 'my dc improved by 3m' 'my dc improved by 4m'. now he's 5m om hearing 'my dc improved by 6m' 'my dc improved by 7m'. I'm just waiting for the MNer who's going to say 'my dc improved by 22y-when they moved out'!

I heard all that too.

It did get better, slowly. One good day in a week, then 2. Now just a couple of bad days and the rest good.

Ok he's got silent reflux. That will be it IMO. The meds aren't a cure all - you can have "break through" reflux even with medication. And I bet the solids would have made it worse.

I've had two DC with silent reflux.

In our cases, they were triggered by dairy and soya so I had to cut them out even though they were on medication.

I also had to get a routine going, with the aid of a decent sling to get them to nap. No lying flat in a pram although by 4/5 months I started using the pushchair on a low incline and made sure their heads were well supported to stop them slumping.

Dd also had a dummy.

I had to incorporate naps into going out so they'd sleep on the way there or back.

Creature so where do I go now with the weaning? It was his consultant who said to start a bit of early weaning as it can help apparently??
And, even if I do hold off for now, i'm going to have to wean him at some point so is just inevitable that we're going to have this upset again??? she says picturing the 22y ds on a milk only diet

oh Creature he won't ave a dummy - just spits it out all the time no matter how many times I pop it back.
Might just have to resort to staying in as he won't nap while we're out - hates his car seat and pram (will fall asleep in his pram but only after a marathon screaming session first)

Haven't read the whole thread but does he sleep enough? Both of my DSs have been awfully hard work as babies. DS1 was just terrible (actually DS2 is probably as bad if not worse but I don't have time to really absorb it and worry about it quite as much as I did first time round!) I think it's so heartbreaking having a baby who just seems so much harder than everyone elses.

It's worn me down both times actually. I have sat and cried with them many many many times. High needs babies or sensitive/ grumpy babies are draining and there's no shame in admitting that. I felt like everyone who had babies had lied to me...And those Pampers ads when the babies are smiling and bouncing, what a lie! Turns out the ads are a bit of an exageration and it's not all sweetness and light but my babies were not like everyone elses! I could never just casually park up the pushchair and stop for a coffee in a cafe. I couldn't sit down with them when they were in the sling without them wriggling and struggling and eventually screaming til I stood up and walked with them. Car journies with DS1 were horrifi to the point where we just avoided them at all costs if they were over 15 minutes because it always ended in a melt down so we had to time them around his naps so he didn't scream. With DS2 it's 50/50 whether he'll tolerate the car but now we have a 5 year old DS1 who's life can not come to a stop purely because DS2 doesn't agree with what we're doing!

Both of mine have fought naps and writhed about screaming even while rocking them. It's horrible having babies who just make everything so much hard work. Waiting outside school for DS1 always makes DS2 whinge because the pushchair stops moving and we have to cue up outside the class room. I hate it and the attention it creates from 'concerned' mums. I'm afaid I have to laugh it off and joke about him just being bored but it's wearing!

I wish I had some advice but if you've checked out medical causes for his grumpiness, (reflux, intolerances, cranial osteopathy etc) then you really do just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and plod on. It's not easy, I know. Somedays with both of mine I have literally wept at how hard it is and how different my life is compared to my friend's with their happy babies.

All I can say is that it does get better. DS1 is 5 now and as soon as he was walking and talking he became much much much easier to be around. He loves a good argument and likes getting his opinion across but I adore him for it. He's never been a temper tantrum throwing, screamy child. He is lovely (if not a little bossy and power mad) but nothing like those awful screamy days when he was a baby. You really will get through it and it does pass. Just a lot slower than you'd like! DS2 is 17 months and is not walking due to wak joints in his knees which is causing him huge frustration at the moment BUT he is already massively improved on the way he was as a baby. He is just intense, the same as DS1 was. It doesn't mean they will be horrible children I promise. It was all worth it but do take care of yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help.

Oh and neither of mine would have a dummy either!!! Arrgh. Have to say, at the ages they are now, I am sooo glad about it but it was so hard at the time seeing my friends simply 'plug' in their grissling babies while mine screamed!!

and please don't listen to people who say it will improve at x months. I was broken hearted each time the magical date passed by with no improvement. By 9 months I had given up hope. Thing is it was improving all the time but there was no set date when they just woke up happy and sunny and completely changed their ways! It was far more gradual. With DS2 we are still going through the process. All I can say is that undoubtedly it will improve. He won't be screaming and crying in his car seat when he's 14! very milestone mine have met (crawing, walking, talking) they got a bit happier. DS2 is learning new words all the time and is much less frustrated than he was... if only he could crack the walking I think he'd be a lot lot happier but it will come in time.

Be careful with what you wean with if you decide to carry on. So we had no acidic fruit or veg (tomatoes, citrus etc). The best thing was pear as very gentle. Also small bits of sweet potatoes, carrots (although be careful) and avocado was a favourite. You have to take it easy - just one or two spoons at a time and wait a few days before introducing new foods.

Dd hated her car seat too but once I could take out the newborn insert she was much happier. I also couldn't put her in just after a feed. Have you taken yours out?

And ditch the pram. At five months you can use a pushchair on a recline. Doesn't need to be flat. Being able to see the world will help distract him a bit.

Sounds very challenging and not sure there is a magic answer... A few things that I might try...
Have you had reflux meds doses increased according to current weight? As he grows he will need increased doses and they often need tweaking. Weaning might be causing some problems, dairy and soya are common culprits. Would avoid for a few days and introduce new foods slowly to see whether any effect.
Sounds as though might also be overtired, I think at this age my Ds was having 3 naps and sleeping about 4-5 hours during the day... It was however something he needed to learn and Something we invested a lot of effort improving. in the end I did feel quite tied to the house as slept so much better in his cot.
My ds1 didn't have reflux however was never a very easy child. Days were long, challenging and I frequently found myself bring the one carrying a cross baby around while people asked me whether he was tired/hungry etc... It's draining hard work and not very rewarding, I feel lots of your pain!