Why is my baby so unhappy?

[wishfulthinking1]

Hi all-
Would really appreciate some advice!

My gorgeous Ds is 1 month old- first few weeks were a breeze, but life seems to be getting harder!

He feeds a lot- often every hour, but only for 5 minutes- he'll get very fussy at the boob-- almost manic with wide eyes and head shaking, but he's putting on weight well so HV isn't worried.

About a week ago he started getting very unsettled in the evening- crying almost constantly from 6-10. We tried infacol, not sure if its making a difference.

He used to sleep well in his Moses basket, but the last few nights he'd only settle on me and would wake up if I put him in his basket.

Today he's cried most of the day! Seems like he's in pain- draws knees up, goes rigid when I try to wind him. Sucking on a dummy seems to give him some comfort.
I just want him to be happy!

Does this sound like anything wrong? Or just life with a newborn?
X

He's asleep on me now- he keeps waking up, wincing, crying out, furiously stretching his legs then sucking on his dummy as if his life depended on it. Is it trapped wind?

Definitely get checked out for reflux. Sounds very like my dd.

sounds like wind to me. I had to spend about 23 out of every 24 hours winding ds1. With ds2 i let him sleep on his tummy (which is not recommended for SIDS risk) but it sorted out the wind problem.

what techniques have you tried?

some that worked for me were:

• using a tummy tub

-lay baby tummy down on your lap and rub back.

-sitting baby upright on your knee, hold your hand under thier jaw/chin to support their head then slowly rotate them in circles in one direction then the other. hmmm, ok this one is hard to describe will see if i can find a video!

If you notice that he cries less when on his tummy or seems to find a bit of relief, that would point to it being wind. I guess it might also be food intolerance though, something different you have been eating maybe?

could it also be the flow, too fast or too slow for him?

oh yes I agree with SJisontheway, possibly reflux too. Does it get worse if you lay him down flat after a feed?

Reflux or stomach pain - can often be caused by a cows milk protein intolerance. I had similar with DD2 and cut out milk from my diet as I was EBF (DD1 is allergic to milk, so that gave me a clue) - within a couple of days she was a different baby. She's not intolerant/allergic now btw, was a passing baby thing.

Also possible, feeding every hour might not be giving him a chance to digest his feeds properly. Can you stretch him out a bit to at least 2 hourly?

NB if you do try cutting food groups out of your diet (assuming you are BF), then just do one type of food at a time for, say a week, and make sure your overall diet is balanced. For example, I substituted soya milk fortified with calcium.

If your baby is only one month old, I would be careful about limiting his feeds, unless you are absolutely sure your supply is well established i wouldnt stop doing feed on demand before 6 weeks.

I cant find a vid of the circle motion winding, but if you look at this one,

if you skip forward to 1.50 you see how to support the head...

...and this vid shows a side to side version, but the version I mean is that you keep the baby's bum seated and move their upper body round in a big circle, so instead of just going side to side you go forward and back as well, hope that's clear !

okay I think you need to separate out some things - crying 6-10 is completely normal and does not signify anything at all. Evening fussiness is absolutey standard in babies - it is linked to cluster feeding and is part of them building up milk supply.

read this

kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/fussy-evening/

feeding that frequently is also completely normal at a month old - as is only sleeping on you - in the first couple of weeks they don't care where they sleep, then they wake up a bit and want to be warm and comfy.

he might have wind, but don't worry about the other signs - normal and will pass by about 12 weeks

it's tough, but get comfy, watch tv and feed constantly !

Crying from 6-10 is not unusual at all, no, but that doesn't mean you can't try to work out what is wrong and make this better. It is usually made a lot better by reducing tiredness or solving a feeding issue. That is this OP's instinct, to make her baby happier, and telling her not to try goes against every maternal instinct. Sometimes you try lots of things, and still can't work out what's wrong, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't try in the first place.

There is a difference between fussiness and frequent feeding to build up supply, and a baby screaming for hours on end in pain. I think the OP is describing the latter not the former.

Thanks for all of your advice.

It really does seem that DS is in pain, but I understand that, to a certain extent, sometimes babies just cry. I just hate seeing him in pain- would do anything to take it away.

Bearing in mind all the advice, I'm going to continue with infacol, develop new winding techniques and try to ensure he has better naps in the daytime.

Thanks for taking the time to reply.

Maybe try block feeding to ensure he's not getting too much watery milk. Also massage may help.

Is he arching his back when he cries and stretching out? My dd did this and it was reflux. She also had quite acidic smelling breath and was sick loads but they're not always sick as the reflux can be silent. As a pp poster said crying in the evening at this age can be normal but I could tell my dd was painful as it was more of a scream that coincided with the arching back etc, I think you know if they are in pain or not.

I've had I change my diet as the paed diagnosed cows milk protein intolerance as she had mucus in her poo but he recommended also avoiding soya as they are a similar protein and lots of babies are intolerant to both. I was told to give it a month as it takes that long to get the protein out of both yours and then their system and it was about 3 wks in that we noticed a real difference. She's also on medication which had helped.

If the infacol/winding don't help then it's maybe worth a trip to your GP although don't be fobbed off by them telling you all babies cry I you think that he's in pain. Good luck

If it's reflux cut down on the infacol. I found by cutting infacol and propping the cot up at an angle the reflux was manageable. At 4 weeks between 4 and 9pm dd would feed every half hour and do the screamy fussy head shakey thing. It got better after 7 or 8 weeks but I changed the way I winded her.I would stand with my arms under hers with her head at chest height and just sway side to side. Sounds weird but worked for us. She stayed grumpy until she got screamy at night with overtiredness and then we introduced a bedtime routine at about 10 weeks and then it got sooooo much better.

Is he sick? My ds2 was exactly how you describe but also frequently sick. This was apparently reflux and dr gave him baby gaviscon. However because i was bf he had to have it on a spoon and he just sicked that bk too. In the end abandoned it and tried to comfort him best i could. He also had dreadful wind, best position for him was with his tummy pressed into my knee and my arm under his chest, lifting him slightly and supporting his head, then rubbing his back and rotating a bit...sounds more complicated than it is. It passed off at around 10weeks but it is hell at the time. Feel for u and your lo op. X

Also hv told me if giving infacol to give at every feed, not just when he seemed in pain. apparently wind builds up over a number of feeds and infacol helps stop it getting to that point but cant work miracles once youre there. It seemed to help ds2.

Have a look at the purple crying website to reassure yourself about evening crying.

If its reflux go to your GP, we give infant gaviscon at feeds which seems to calm the discomfort.

sounds a lot like bad wind. given the short feeds and fussiness at boob, it may be worth getting a lactation consultant to check for tongue tie as this increases the amount of air going in so makes it worse. tt can cause fussy looking and short feeding because the baby finds it hard to stay on.

DD was like this. It seems to be a combination of wind and reflux. She had awful farts! GP prescribed gaviscon which really helps but we also found gripe water really helpful - Seems to help her bring up wind and she's been much more settled in the evening. She settles for bed earlier most nights too. She's 6 weeks and we started both just over a week ago.

You've pretty much described the first 8/9 weeks of my dd's life (now 9 months old) and she was diagnosed with reflux and also an intolerance to cows milk protein so it might be a good idea to see a gp if you find that the new winding techniques etc you are going to try don't work. It was easier for us to diagnose the reflux as she was sick a lot all day every day so it was really obvious for us, it can be harder to pick up on if they have what is known as 'silent reflux' where it doesn't actually make them sick. Also if it does turn out to be an intolerance my wee one has already outgrown it so it could be short lived! Hope things improve for you soon

I haven't read your replies, so apologies if repeating, but it sounds like colic to me - that tends to start around then. It's horrible, and very hard to deal with. Not sure if anyone has recommended cranial osteopathy to you? Though a lot of medics poo-poo it, it worked really well for us.

This is exactly what I went through with DD. Poor thing would writhe in pain from trapped wind. We tried everything - infacol, gripe water, you name it. Very distressing to see your lo in pain.

You say the feeding is going well - is there any pain for you at all? Is he latched on properly with lots of boob in the mouth? I only ask because it turned out that DD had a posterior tongue tie (most HVs don't know about it or how to diagnose it - even the paediatrician missed it). We were told it was all totally normal.

There's some info on how to check tongue ties: nursingrubysue.wordpress.com/how-to-check-for-a-tongue-tie/
and at kellymom: kellymom.com/health/baby-health/bfhelp-tonguetie/

In the meantime, I found taking lo for a walk just before witching hour began really helped both of us. I got some fresh air and a break and she got a nap (it was the only time she would sleep on her back).

You can also sleep babies on their side, as long as use rolled up towels on either side of the to stop them rolling on to their front. This is what the midwife advised us and it did help. If it got bad DD would just sleep on one of us on her front.